Atop the bricks sat lone Lolly Dong,
with one leg and two wooden feet,
while pissed fishcakes with torches gathered down below,
they covered the cobblestone street;
"Hard boil!", "Poach him!", "No, scramble then fry!",
"Sunny side up over easy!".
Afraid to dismount, long faced Lolly Dong froze
as pitchfork prongs made him feel queasy.
Half chicken, wussy-king Lolly Dong Egg
pulled, from his pants, a tack hammer
Held rapier high, with big budging eyes,
he then perfumed the air with this yammer...
"I'll do it!", he bellowed, "I'll crack my own shell!
You'll have my yoke on your hands!"
"That's great!" the cakes cackled with sighs of relief,
"Go on, prove it if you've got the sand."
So, the crowd of loon fishcakes all shut-up like clams,
listening for the sound;
Then suddenly - "WHACK!" - the wee hammer of tacks
put a hole in his shell, small and round.
The hot fishcakes gasped, they took a step back
as Lolly Dong leaked down the wall,
and spilled onto the street, the gold and the clear;
Lolly teetered once before the fall.
the fishy mob winced as Dong smacked the stone,
some torches were doused out by guts.
So, splattered, the caked-fish folk left one by one
whispering, "Geez, what a bloody great putz!"
A contest entry
- Easy win contest. I'm simple. by happy kitty kat.
700 points, ended July 4, 33 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
guess i picked the wrong week to stop sniffin' glue...
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
veryyyyyyyyyy interesting..... I LOVE IT! ur funny. and wierd, and strange, and possibly loaded on ether or glue or paint for all i know. but i like the way u think. GOOD LUCK IN MY CONTEST!!!
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lol at wrong week. you goof. keep em comin.
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Only you would take humpty dumpty to this level. This is hilarious. I have an egg poem somewhere filled with yolky humor, this is brilliantly absurd, just as one would expect from you. 
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thanks...very glad you like it
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Very funny, so it was really suicide, not an accident. I knew there was something fishy about his demise
Good luck in the contest
Dee
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Now that was a play on cake mixed up titles and methinks a modern happy looney tune ..good luck in the contest
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This was obviously a humorous piece but it was a little weird for me!
Thanks for entering and good luck!
<3 Abi -
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lol...sorry for the weirdness...hope it at least made you grin...thanks for reading
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i was just thinking about eggs poach him, poach him, he deserves it. let him scream. i might make for my dinner some fish fingers, sadly there are no fishcakes in the house
they have all emigrated to cuckoo land, and egg, that sounds positively marvellous.
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lol...mother goose on acid
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WOW, Brothers Grimm watch out! Bit of a dark twist there girl!! Tee hee
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hahaha now i want to eat a load fo fishcakes and eggs it is a cracking poem lol i will soldier along now and dip my foot in the yoke
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