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Death to a sonnet

Nothing chills me more than your cold shoulder

Or stings more then the venom in your eyes

Silence fuels my mind and I am bolder

I know how to bury a heart that dies

 

 

Strip me naked and place me in the square

These shackles stymied my mind long enough

Sharpen your sickle, it's ready to pare

Over time though this skin has become tough

 

 

Remove my tongue if it pleasures you most

But all my thoughts will still have a loud voice

served on a platter you'll offer the host

laughing aloud at your torture of choice

 

 

Less virginal, I will light my votives

You had your agenda, but no motives.

Author notes

I am wonderful!

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • Maili Knephthan gold member
    June 24, 2008

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    This is very good I really did enjoy this alot. Thank you for sharing this and thank you for putting "I am wonderful" int eh AN as per the rules. Good luck in my contest


  • lilmayra
    May 5, 2008

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    I love this piece. I am especially fond of writing sonnets and this is very well done. The whole piece is full of emotion and it used the words that I have been trying to express in my writing. Thank you for commenting on my latest as well. It really is encouraging to have others who can feel what I have been feeling. Keep writing this was wonderful!


  • Wayne Leon Learmond
    May 5, 2008

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    This I like very much. There is anger, darkness and it rhymes so well too. The flow is good, and you have very strong imagery and emotion in this piece. Very well-written.

    All the best
    Wayne Leon


  • Commodore Rouge
    March 29, 2008
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    Wow, that was amazing! First, I love the title, that sounds so . . .nevermind, I can't find a good adjective for it. The rhyming flowed so well, and I always appreciate a good rhyming poem, ideally when it feels natural, and in this case, it did. Great imagery, voice, word choice, I don't think there's anything to improve on!


  • Killerzombies
    March 29, 2008

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    Great write

    strong imagery. I love it. The wording makes this poem so powerful. The first and second stanzas are my favorite.


  • nitefire
    March 29, 2008
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    I loved this! I really liked the last two lines! Don't change a thing! ~Leah

  • smile-n
    March 28, 2008
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    smile-n

    Well line one an two of the thirdb stanza is good but the is a poor conclusion to the poem it's quite good.


  • TheNymph
    March 28, 2008

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    this is great. i really like it but i am not so sure about the final two lines. an excellent poem though. i can really relate to this, there is a real strength in the midst of the pain.


  • stylization
    March 28, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    i dont' know what to say aside from I love it. i dont' think i could say more.

1 - 9 of 9