so when i tell her that he didnt speak to me,
she tells me this story.
it's not to make you hate your dad,
she says,
but when i was pregnant with you,
he wanted me to get an abortion.
and of course i cried my heart out,
and deep down i really hated him.
but then she said now,
he would not trade you for the world.
and i keep reminding myself of this,
but then i think of all that he has done to me,
what my mom told me,
and how when i was first born,
he would not claim me.
and now when i find he's going to jail for 8 months,
i feel guilty,
because i think that i am kind of happy,
happy to see him go back,
tho i want to cry.
but i want to cry from my pain,
my madness at him,
not from being sad.
and then i think of what grandma would think,
my best friend in the whole world,
yet she is dead.
and then i can't help but to cry ,
because i have no idea.
so for now i go on thinking,
why would he want me to die?
why would he not think i was his?
why?
Why?
WHY?
A contest entry
- Family Disappointments by aboomer.
525 points, ended April 14, 2008, 22 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - HELP ME!!!!! by ShadowsDream.
300 points, ended April 10, 2008, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Inspire me; Anything Goes by wolfcub.
450 points, ended April 16, 2008, 54 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Turn your Green Trophies into Bronze, Silver or Gold by FloridaGatorQueen.
600 points, ended June 29, 2008, 63 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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This is beautifully written. It is sad when one parent doesn't want us. One day your questions will be answered. I enjoyed the read! Thank you for entering my contest.
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I don't like the ending, but I like the rest. There's lots of emotion, bt reasoning as well, not just hate, which makes this s much more real and interesting to read.
Thankyou for entering and good luck
Katie -
Full of pain and emotion. I know it hurts to think someone wanted to abort you and didn't want to claim you as theirs, but you also state that he wouldn't trade you for the world - so I would say he had a change of heart and really loves you in his own way. I know many have this kind of pain - so this is relatable to others.
I like how you have ended this - showing that you still put an importance on your questions. I hope they get answered for you someday - in a way that will eliminate all doubts for you.
thank you for your entry
best wishes
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