Sun of the village,
to him she cried.
“Oh Santana, Santana.
My heart how it bleeds.”
And I did not answer.
My husband, he fell down the well;
because it was dark I left him there.
Rose garden, rose bush
a thorn does cut
but I don’t weep.
“Baby, Baby please don’t cry.”
My pleas mean nothing to them that died.
Shears in my hand,
footsteps trailing,
now the tears are at an end.
Author notes
19) "Lithium, don't want to lock me up inside
Lithium, don't want forget how it feels without...
Lithium, I want to stay in love with my sorrow,
But god, I want to let it go"
Evanescence's "Lithium"
What if you ever did something heineous and you couldn't tell anyone? Is it out of fear? Regret? Confusion? Or do you simply feel nothing?
A contest entry
- Be Prompted!!!! LOTS OF OPTIONS!!! by Auburn Sunrise.
1400 points, ended March 30, 2008, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - it is the rule... by PrabhuDayal Khattar.
300 points, ended May 9, 2008, 6 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
while i appreciate the niceties, i would appreciate objective criticism more
Comments
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You took me to the deep of the poetry and made me to ponder...I love this tone and depth..thanks for such a wonderful poetry...
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a good poem, the well section made me smile, i left him there because it was dark, might as well get a kip then
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Whoa!
I read this several times in a row, a bit confused by its ambiguous nature... and each time I got a different idea about the course of events described in the poem.
At first I didn't see the connection between the poem and the prompt... but then it became a bit more clear.
It isn't the Lithium your poem alludes to, but the duality of wanting to hold onto (even appreciate) your sorrow, and at the same time the need to let it go.
I think it is a little unclear who is actually doing what in the poem, as you seem to shift from one event to another one without clarifying the people involved.
There seems to be a great story behind this, but it is difficult to discern.
I get the feeling, after several more readings, that the woman feels guilty for the deaths of others (not clear how many), and, unable to deal with her sorrow, takes her own life (using shears). I could be way off here.
I do love your style and the way you hint at descriptions, engaging the readers' minds and making them do all the work.
I will have to read more by you, definitely.
Thank you for entering!
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