Image Credit: Changing Seasons by John Sopciati
She walks the path of garden's bloom in spring
rejoicing in the sound of brand new birth
and there beneath the feathered birds on wing,
she walks the path of garden's bloom in spring.
Tied ivy vines and lace give sight to swing
with soft allure of spring in all her worth.
She walks the path of garden's bloom in spring
rejoicing in the sound of brand new birth.
Rejoicing in the sound of brand new birth
sweet summer warms and dazzles her soft smile
with whispered seeds implanted in her earth
rejoicing in the sound of brand new birth,
As each new seedling sprouts within tiered berth
her calm displays and settles there awhile.
Rejoicing in the sound of brand new birth
sweet summer warms and dazzles her soft smile.
Sweet summer warms and dazzles her soft smile
propelled on air now crisp with colored leaves
to gently fall in playful breeze-blown style.
Sweet summer warms and dazzles her soft smile.
As auburn hues are blended to beguile,
her heart is warmed in joy which she achieves.
Sweet summer warms and dazzles her soft smile
propelled on air now crisp with colored leaves.
Propelled on air now crisp with colored leaves,
in softly mingled breath of winter snow
sweet slumber sings within the way she weaves;
propelled on air now crisp with colored leaves.
Kissed softly in farewell she lets them go
and sleeps beneath her blanket of frost heaves,
propelled on air now crisp with colored leaves
in softly mingled breath of winter snow.
In a list
A contest entry
- Rhyming Rumble 1 ( part one of a 3 part series ) by RuthKephart.
525 points, ended April 5, 2008, 21 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Upon first reading this, I pegged it a winner in my book..and I want to study and learn how to weave the lines as you have done. I've not seen this form before, and it calls to me in a very loud voice. Congratulations on your well-deserved Gold.
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Neon Rose
Thank you so much for your kind words and congratulations to you too on your silver trophy. Well done. If you are interested, I was introduced to this wonderful form by Eusebius - aka Michael Fantina.
http://allpoetry.com/Eusebius
He has been a wonderful mentor and is an expert at form. Normally the intertwining Triolet is done with 6 4 line stanzas or 3 8 line stanzas, but in this case I had to add to get the four seasons into play.
I am happy you enjoyed this piece. It is a wonderful form to write and I do hope you will share yours with me once completed.
Thank you again. Congratulations to you and we will see you in round 2.
~Pamela 
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Just back for another look
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My, what a complex and marvelous form, so superbly crafted…it flows delicately, like a serene piece of artwork, each stroke of language, imagery, eloquence…radiating…I find it absolutely astounding. The skill and talent is fantastic within this tranquil, inspiring write.
I absolutely love the phrase, “garden's bloom” in this poem. Those two words create such an amazing flourish of imagery…definitely reminds me of the garden my mum and I had tended over the years, the way it bloomed in spring…garden’s bloom…and the botanical gardens we would visit when I was young, walking the paths. I just hang on that phrase. The word “rejoicing” also grasped me. It is the perfect word. The sound and meaning, so powerful and spirited, enhances and defines the soul of this poem, I feel. No other word could possibly be used in its place. “with whispered seeds implanted in her earth
rejoicing in the sound of brand new birth,”
I absolutely adore the way warmth remains, from within, by lady earth’s own awe and captivation (my interpretation, that is) “Sweet summer warms and dazzles her soft smile
propelled on air now crisp with colored leaves.”
My, how masterfully this piece transitions…the beauty of the seasons, each delicate presence that marks and dazzles. I feel it depicts the delightful, wondrous being that is nature, and the cycle it leads, life’s cycle. That eight stanza is absolutely superb. Elegant. As age is elegant, I feel. Birth and youth of the spring and summer elegantly age by the brink of autumn, and bid farewell beneath the snows of winter, as in death, dormancy, I felt…yet, throughout, the spirit always remains fascinated and youthful, radiant, brilliant, and departs with the very beauty born with…I feel, though the Earth revives in spring, it can still be applied to living things that eventually meet death, in the fact that the spirit does not die…personal view…I also believe it can be applied to the many changes throughout one’s life…how we can grow dormant, cold and cantankerous, and then revive again in a spring-time manner, immerging from the frosted ground with enlightenment, wisdom and hope…Very thought-provoking write. Definitely thrust me into a stew of thought, obviously. A marvelous Triolet…intricate and well done. The imagery is incredible…fantastic flow, personification, meter, rhyme…heavenly write!!!! (sorry if this comment rambled a bit)
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FunnelWaxFate
Thank you so much for such a wonderful review. I appreciate your time and kind words so very much. Thank you. ~Pamela 
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bravo
this IS so very wonderful, indeed! You have done a magnificent job with this (and I can attest that it is NOT easy) superb~! Loved it, loved it! bravo... bravo... bravo...
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Michael
Thank you my friend. I am pleased for your comment here considering you have been my mentor and teacher with this form. Thank you so much.
~Pamela
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What a beautiful work of art this is! I love the triolet, but this form is new to me, and I find it quite amazing! Well done, poet, and good luck in the contest.
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Beautiful~
I really enjoyed this exellent penning.
The imagery is wonderfully weaved throughout
Your rhyme and meter is so lovely.
Thanks for sharing your talent.
Best of wishes to you
Tony
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Tony
Thank you so much. I am so pleased you enjoyed this one. ~Pamela
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Just a sigh .. nothing more required
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Fug-azi
Thank you so much. ~Pamela
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WOW!
What more can I say to you Pam that I haven't already said? Exceptional piece, very sweet and serene, and full of imagery!
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Richard
Thank you my friend. I am so pleased you enjoyed this one. ~Pamela
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So so glad you took the time to enter here. I'm just a simple poet and not fimilar with this form but I do know lovely meter and rhyme when it is presented to me and this indeed fits that bill. Your rhyme and meter are both about as perfect as they get and the poem itself is so soft and almost innocent. I enjoyed everything about this piece. You guys certainly aren't making my job of judging very easy! Thank you for your entry and best wishes in the contest
Ruth
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Ruth
Thank you so much for your wonderful comment and the honor of gold in this round. I am so pleased you enjoyed this piece. ~Pamela
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There is nothing that could make this better. An incredibly beautiful write and such vivid imagery. Good luck in this contest, my Friend.
Lady D
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Lady D
Thank you so much. I always appreciate your kind words on my work. ~Pamela
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I loved this. A beautiful form and a stunning poem.
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Kiran
Thank you. ~Pamela
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now THAT's a nice toilet! *nods knowingly*
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Difficult Form
and some beautiful seasons described Pam. As Legend says "Excellent".
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Jim
Thank you so much. ~Pamela
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Dear friend would the word Excellent suffice for my comment?
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Legend
Thank you so much. ~Pamela
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I love the Intertwining Triolet.
I love this poem.
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Richard
Thank you so much. Always a pleasure to see your comments on my verse. ~Pamela
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