Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Yellow Bellied Sap Sucker

Missing image




                White stripe

              this woodpecker

              drills birch, maples and pines.

              Drinks sugary liquid from pits.

                        ~~OOoozing~~

              He sucks.

            Wipes dripping sap

            with their odd brush - like tongue.

            Distinctive staccato drum rolls....

                                    tap .  .  .      tap  .  .  . 
                                             
                                          . . .    . . .    . . .

                                                . . .      . . .    . . .

                                                        . .  .    .  .  .    . .  .
             

Author notes

Double cinquain

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • astralshepherd gold member
    April 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    a wonderful double cinquain, solid structure, brilliant soundings - lovely image presented.

    blessings and best wishes,


  • KayJay
    March 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Spring is here... C's bird poems are heading north (LOL). Wonderful write. Thanks for sharing and for the lesson... Double cinquain!
    K


  • Long Road Home
    March 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Ah yes! Spring has arrived, and with it, the return of bird poetry

    I don't know if it would ruin the form, but I would drop "their" from the brush-like tongue line. I think "with odd brush - like tongue" works on its own.

    tap tap...... tap tap tap......

    hehehehehe


    • MagicLady silver member
      March 28, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      I need six syllables for that line, so I can't just drop it. I'll ponder on that, thanks friend. I need to start writing about the birds again....makes me feel so good.

      Did you notice the return of this bird?

      Cheryl