She’s been away for nine months. For the last three months, we’d see her one day every weekend for a few hours. Seeing her for the first time sober and not cracked out, no one knew what to say or how to treat my sister Dawn. It was manageable though. One day a week wasn’t so bad. Now she’s living home and I can see the difference in everyone.
As I walk in my front door, I can feel the thickness of the air. It’s grown full of tensions and stress and the smoke from the cigarettes my mother cant stop inhaling. I can hear the growl of the coffee pot that no one in that house can live without. My mother finally rests her cigarette long enough to smile and say hello while trying to tell me I need to eat something. I hug her and ask her what’s wrong. She strongly says, “Nothing, why?” I let her know I can see the frustration and uneasiness all over her face. She confides in me that since Dawn as moved back in, everyone has been walking on glass. She didn’t realize, I already knew.
I run up the stairs the say hello to my father. I go into his bedroom and he has his radio blasting “Dream Lover” by Bobby Darin as he puts on his tie in front of his mirror. It took him a moment to realize I had entered the room. I can see that he’s in his own world, a different mind set. He’s obviously getting ready for a gig and trying to forget the fact that you can cut the tension in that house with a knife. I finally say hello and for a moment, he’s genuinely happy. He gives me a hug and a kiss and starts to tell me about the job he has that night and the one he played the night before.
I listen for a few minutes and then go check my room. Everything is moved. Nothing is where it’s supposed to be. I can feel my face get hot as I look around and then I notice Dawn sitting on my bed watching TV. I can that she’s gotten uncomfortable because of my presence. It’s then I realize that technically, it’s no longer my room. She doesn’t know what to do. She smiles awkwardly and says hello as she gets up and goes downstairs to get a cup of coffee. I sit on my bed after she leaves and think for a minute or two. It’s hard to take it all in. She wasn’t even allowed to be in the living room alone before she went away, and there she was living in my room.
I hear my niece’s voice coming from downstairs. I go to say hi to her and she’s sitting in “Titi Dawn’s” lap tickling her. She sees me and runs to me screaming my name. I missed her so much. “Come play with us!” She says. I tell her I will later; I had to bring my stuff up to my room.
A while later, I sit watching television with Dawn. I’m not really paying attention; it’s more like blankly staring while thinking about everything. My brother Anthony and his girlfriend Omayra get home. I get not even so much as a hello from my brother. He goes straight up to his room. Omayra actually acknowledges my existence before she goes straight for a cup of coffee in the kitchen. Dawn looks at me and tells me and Anthony doesn’t really want her there and that’s why he’s in a bad mood. I tell her that’s not true, but in my heart I know he still doesn’t trust her. No one was really ready for this.
The phone rings and it’s my sister Chrissy. I go into the other room to talk to her about everything that’s going on in the house. She informs me that she feels the same as I do which is the reason she doesn’t visit very much anymore.
It’s really crazy. Who would have thought that something like this could be so stressful? I mean, we should all be happy that Dawn is back home and off the streets and sober. Well, we are happy. It’s just a difficult process. All the trust that was lost during the years will be hard for her to gain back completely. I realize that. She had been on her own since she was fifteen years old, so I know for a fact she feels out of place living back with my parents now. She’s thirty-four years old and it’s like she’s a child all over again. My parents are trying to let her spread her wings again, but they’re not sure she’s ready. She wants to move on with her life, but really just has to work on herself right now. I’m happy for her that she has come this far, and I’m hoping that things will get easier for her as time goes on. I hope that everyone in the house can ease up a bit. Actually, I hope they can ease up a lot. It seems like everyone is trying to hide their emotions from one another and that is just making matters a lot worse. I try to be there the best I can for everyone. Things will eventually get back to normal, but the problem with that is, no one remembers what normal is anymore.
Author notes
this is a true story. my sister was a crack addict for quite some time. it started when i was in 6-7th grade and now im a freshman in college. she was arrested last year, got out in october of 07 and was sent to a woman's home, and moved back into my parent's house in january 08. i wrote this for my english comp class and she wants me to publish it in the newspaper. what do you think? overall i mean. does it read well? what does it make you feel and think?
i want serious feedback and comments. be honest. what do you think?
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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awesome story rachel..U R THE COOLEST!!!!!
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Wow I do really believe that this should be published!!! It was written very well. Addiction is something that's very difficult to deal with and that is shown in this essay. I'm really glad I read this.
Things will eventually get back to normal, but the problem with that is, no one remembers what normal is anymore.- That is a very powerful ending line for this. It shows how many people the addiction of 1 person can affect.
Very well done!!!!!
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i think you should enter it ... ... it makes people think bot the ood chans people can make in their life ... ...no matter how bad it seems ... ... well done and i think it flows nicly dont change a thing
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I think this is seriously good. It reads really well and is easy to understand. only a few small things that I think should be corrected.
3rd paragraph: It took -> It takes !
4th: I can [WORD MISSING] that she’s gotten uncomfortable because of my presence.
after she leaves -> after she has left ?
6th: I had to bring my stuff up to my room. -> I have to
I also think it's quite brave of you to post this on here for everyone to read, and in a newspaper... I wouldn't have the courage to have a personal write like this published somewhere...
I'm glad you sister finally got away from her addiction and is now back home with you... Hard for me to imagine what it must be like though... But I wish you all the best and lots of strength coping with this unknown situation...
Annie
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I like the reference to addiction through-out this write. The coffee and cigarettes. Addiction-the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming, as narcotics, to such an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma.
drug- a habit-forming medicinal or illicit substance, esp. a narcotic.
A drug can be anything we do, chocolate cake, t.v., cocaine, allpoetry.com, it is all a matter of perspective. I like that you weren't putting yourself on a pedestal here, you weren't judging.
It is important to know addiction is a disease and should be treated as such.
This was a highly personal, honest piece. In a world where we all have become experts at escape I applaud your writing hard truths!
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Oh wow. I really got into the drama of this experience. I feel deeply for you and your family. Obviously, you are all sharing in much pain at this time. It is also clear that you all wish to support your sister...but the price is high. Thank you for sharing this deeply personal piece.
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i think it was really touching. im glad your sister is back and trying to make a better life for herself. thats what she needs and family support would be extremely important at the time. i think you wrote this down very well, using the right structures of writing in the right places. this was truely amazing. my brother does drugs, im trying to get him to stop considering they will only destroy his life, but hes reluctant to listen. hopefully he'll come around soon enough before the drugs swallow him completely.
i definitely think you should put this in the paper, its great, and you'd make a good writer!!!!
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first I would like to say that Dawn has accomplished quite a bit and at this time she needs all the approval, kudos and support that anyone can give her. But I also understand how hard it must be for all those around her to let their defenses down and learn to trust again[ Dawn will need to prove that she is worthy of it]
as far as publishing it in the paper, why Not? But before you do, may I suggest to re-read it a couple of times again. You left out a word here and there in a sentence [it happens to all of us] especially when relaying a story such as this instead of a regular poem. All in all , you did an excellent job at letting the reader in behind the scenes as well as into the emotions of all the individuals involved.
I wish you and yours all the best and a lot of strength to look forward to what hopefully will be a brighter future for all of you....hang in there, it takes time to adjust [completely understandable]
regards and respect,
reenie
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I am sure many others are in similar positions, having older sisters/brothers living with their parents as they have no job and at time have no skills either if they have been in jail for a while. Glad I am not in that position, but then others. like me, have grandchildren living with them due to their family problems at home. Who wins? Enjoyed the read. Go ahead and publish.
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