I caught you.
The corners of
your chelsea smile
slice through your
bourbon stained eyes.
The worn edges of your
second hand sincerity
showing through
your yellowed teeth.
The stains in the cracks
of your knuckles
give you away.
Like the toothmarks
left by the night.
Like the secret harboured
in the shadows of the creases
on your paper thin face.
Like the cresendo of anger
before you strike.
Like a meat show
in the slaughter house
you leave behind.
I caught you.
Staring at me.
A contest entry
- Make It Dark by peregrin.
450 points, ended August 10, 2008, 81 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your Words, Worthy of Quotation by PureCountry.
875 points, ended August 23, 2008, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Crude Animal: A quote inspired contest. by howlinginpain.
2150 points, ended August 17, 2008, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Ghost Writes by BabyBun.
380 points, ended August 18, 2008, 28 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Why Not? by GloriousGift.
395 points, ended August 24, 2008, 54 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Imagery is where it's at... by Sincerely.
525 points, ended September 7, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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WOW, nicely penned.
Thnx for entering & Best of Luck
: F
GloriousGift
Heba -
Your
words do paint solid images. Thanks for entering.
Best of Luck
Niaish
Silent Hawk
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Great entry - thanks and best of luck.
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I really liked this poem but it didn't really fit this contest.
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Hmmm... the ending caught me by surprise/. I liked the imagery and metaphores. Thanks for entering and good luck.
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Very rich words, loved it. The first line made me want to read on immediately which is a sign of a truly great write. Nice ending too, very nice indeed. "Slicing through your bourbon stained eyes". I see imagery in here, and a hint of darkness too. Brilliant, and thanks for entering. Best of luck
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I caught you ... staring at me. This is a great line. It kind of takes ones breath away. Thank you for entering the contest.
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I really like this piece,
great work!!!
I think the flow is amazing,
and I think it is brilliantly written.
Good luck! -
i love this! oh my gosh i love this! the ending, i have to say i have many past expierences runing through my head as i read that. thankyou so much for entering my contest and good luck!
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