The first time that I saw you
I could have sworn we had already met.
You smiled as if we shared a secret...
But you didn't even know me yet.
Over frothy mugs and billiards
[while my husband watched us play]
the bond we shared grew deeper still...
Black and white became shades of grey.
I never dreamed that I would fall
and embrace this scarlet letter.
Is fulfillment worth this load of shame...
Or would fidelity be better?
Your lips on mine hold hellish heat,
your hands trace trails of fire.
But beneath the ashes of your eyes...
an answering flame fuels my desire.
I cannot win this futile game
No matter what I choose to do.
For though every day I bear his name,
my nights are filled with thoughts of you.
Author notes
option #4
This is not a true poem...lest anyone who knows me read it and think I'm having an affair. *winks*
A contest entry
- OPTIONS AND LOTS OF THEM!!!! by Theory Of The Lost.
710 points, ended April 14, 2008, 24 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Where's my stinkin' trophy? by Great Cthulhu.
1500 points, ended April 25, 2008, 47 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Love Triangles by Celticjedi.
600 points, ended May 7, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Turn those greenies into gold (or silver or bronze) #6 by whispernthedark.
700 points, ended September 27, 2008, 38 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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Holy crap the line with your husband watching you play makes this soooo naughty, better not to act on impulsions... great write, thank you for entering the contest. good luck
♥
whisper
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Beautifully written, very well done! This is probably what happens when most couples meet, be it a love triangle or not. Keep up the great work, thank you for entering. Good luck!
~Cj
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A dream of dark, forbidden desires, nicely penned. I love the imagery you used, especially in the fourth stanza (my favorite! Keep your pen to the page and thanks for entering!
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You have captured the torn feelings of a split heart well here. It is worded in such a personal way, showing the talent of your pen and ability to reach into varied emotions, as you say this scenario is ficticous.
Small point of critique, Line three "your" > "you"
A good write...alby
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thanks for the heads up! It's always the little things that get me!!!!
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Awesome write And billards and women after my own heart lol very nice write beautiful imagery
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This was great. The rhyming was wonderfully not forced, the language fresh. You made apparent the tension of the situation and you've let the audience see how the main character is so torn.
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lol and i thought that was true XD
anyway, i pretty much love this meaningful piece
since it was beautifully written with wonderful words =]
'black and white became shades of grey.'
now that was one of my favorite lines.
the other lines were good, too
and the second to the last stanza: amazing!
glad to read this, all right ^_^
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wow this is really good it flowed very well and even though its not a true poem you wrote it as though it was with so much feeling behind it great write thanks for sharing
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great write i liked it a lot my favorite stanza was the 1st one
The first time that I saw you
I could have sworn we had already met.
Your smiled as if we shared a secret...
But you didn't even know me yet.'
great write keep up da good work =) -
Oh! No breaches! Sorry, I'm taking a law course and it's breach this, breach that. Anyway, about the poem, I really liked it. This stanza was my favorite:
"Your lips on mine hold hellish heat,
your hands trace trails of fire.
But beneath the ashes of your eyes...
an answering flame fuels my desire."
The alliteration was superb. Well done!
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Ummm...wow! Nicely done, I thought you were really having an affair!
Just kidding! My favorite part is where you say "your hands trace trails of fire." You paint quite a vivid picture. Good luck in the contest.
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I think you did a wonderful job here in making me feel the torment of wanting one and loving another. Great write!!
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