lunar pastels of violet texture
pales the silhouette once crisp
as the ring of gold
fans the air.
locking the clasp
on her Book of Secrets,
one final
drip
of
tear
A contest entry
- For The Simple Minded by Dalaney.
900 points, ended March 29, 2008, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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Love the spur of the moment writes, they tend to come straight from the heart/spirit/soul
Love those last lines:
"locking the clasp
on her Book of Secrets,
one final
drip
of
tear"
--For the simple minded
Amber
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Amber, sometimes you look at few unconnected words and they seem to draw their own dot to dot pattern. Such was the case here. thanks,
Joe
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This was really good.. I really enjoyed the way that this read..And it flowed so well. you really did a wonderful job with expressing a lot here with this piece.. thank you very much for sharing..
Angel
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Angel, thanks for the praise. This write was a spur of the moment thing that even surprised me how well it worked. See you soon,
Joe
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Jaded teardrop
This is a really good poem, because it had a lot of really good imagery to it. It wasn't just words, it was also feeling which readers can relate to... good read...
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Jaded, thanks for your praise and comment. Here, as in everything write, has a certain amount of personal history
Joe
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Rich imagery here, suggesting the end of a chapter... Tears cleanse the way to a new beginning... Profound!!
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Ithica, in a proverbial manner, one door has to be closed in order to open another. Before me now there are many from which to choose. The right one will open itself
Joe
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A short and very very well said piece my friend, your words ALWAYS hav so much depth and meaning
Hope all is well with you
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Deceits, the direction this took was it's own chosen path, the words that of another, the results an outcome felt by everyone at some point in life
Joe
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Joe, say it isn't so
There are many layers to your onion. I continue to peel them off and see that there is more underneath. What heart beats in the soul of the abstract poet?
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Amazira, buried beneath the layers lives a kind hearted altruistic whose only desire is to lift it's spirit by lifting those of others
Joe
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and away sails once precious golden dreams
ending in shattered memories siled with a tear
Roses to you Joe
Teresa
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Tears, I'm astounded that what began as a simple exercise with a word prompt, the lives of so many have been touched. Always keep in mind, that where there is a sad ending, happiness is soon to follow
Joe
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this is captivatingly sad Joe...and perfect it doesn't even need one more word for your point here...it's just perfect and like others have said it seems yes you took the words given and what not and created a great poem out of it
Ireally love that line - pale the silhouette once crisp
That line alone says it all to me
Well done in my opinion, very well done
Cindy
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Cindy, sad but nonetheless the appropriate to close one door and step through into another life
Joe
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powerfully beautiful...exceptional use of the words given. I thank you, Poet, for this outstanding entry.
Love, Lane
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Lane, the words you chose fell into order by their own natural selection. Together they tell the story of many a decieved heart. Thanks.
Joe
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WOW, what you reading over my shoulder or something? This is a really good little emotional read. I like the way you typed it out as well.
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Joy, more than any other, you know I see into the soul of the eyes. Perhaps it was your thoughts on the air that gave me this inspiration
Joe
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