You take a step closer to the edge.
You look down and take a deep breath.
You close your eyes...
Your hoping this is going to work.
Have you thought about the people your going to leave behind?
The pain thier going to have to face everyday,
The guilt your going to put upon them,
The blame their going to be haunted by.
Don't take that step!
Your not going to heal the pain,
Your going to make it even worse,
By hurting the ones you love,
The ones that care so much about you.
How could you be so selfish and only think about yourself?
How could you think killing yourself is going to make it all go away?
How could you not see that we never knew you were bleeding?
You never told anyone,
You were never unhappy,
you never showed it all,
You never cried,
never sighed...
Your smile was hiding it all,
and we didnt know.
Im begging you not to take that step...
You take a step closer to the edge.
You look down and take a deep breath.
You close your eyes...
Your hoping I will forgive you.
But you do not know that I'm not.
I'm not going to forgive you for the pain your going to cause
hundreds of people for your selfishness.
A contest entry
- Give me your best of anything. No cutting poems please. new or pre write. by Misery into Melody.
700 points, ended May 16, 2008, 30 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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WOW! thats all I can say. this is awesome. I love it. Keep Writing!
Kaytie -
Okay I'll start out by saying that suicide is something that really hits home with me. I've been in some pretty bad places in my life, and several times have contemplated killing myself. That being said, I want to say that this is a very beautiful poem. By the third line of the very first stanza I could tell that you're a very talented poet. I love the raw emotion you show for such a controversial topic.
One little suggestion I could make that might make it flow a little bit better is where it says "the ones that care so much about you" in the third stanza, you might change that to "the ones that care about you so much". But that's just my humble opinion. -
this was really good job on it you put a lot of emotion into this piece very well done " i liked your line "You take a step closer to the edge. You look down and take a deep breath. You close your eyes...
Your hoping I will forgive you. But you do not know that I'm not." Very good I really liked it it made me think cause i have some things i have to face.
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wow i like this one so much
wow. i like this poem. see my gf commited suicide when we were 12. and its hard knowing i saw her do that. i couldnt stop her. no one could. i have tried suicide but im alive and im glad to be alive now. i can help others out. i can share what ive learned saw and observed. life has a lot of fucked up shit happen but there is also good in what happens to. im not an optimist. so its kinda weird. lol. well i love this poem. and i am going to read some more and shit.
-Jinx -
awwwww that is so sad and so good i like it
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If I could've told that to one of my friends who committed suicide, I would hope she'd still be alive. Very good!
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very emotional poem about suicide i like that you show reasons and feelings for the sides of it both the person doin it and the person tryin to keep from from doin it,
great write ! keep it up!
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I's true, people who kill themselves are selfish. But, I have no room to talk...I do that stuff too...
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Damn I got tears in my eyes. Lol. This is so true
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