How am I ever
Supposed to believe you care
When the only time your here, you tear
My heart out and just crush?
It all doesn't seem to matter
You just brush
It all to the side, do you really think it's getting better
Because of you, I am who I never
Wanted to see myself as
A shell of the past
You seem to want this hell to last
All of this you put me through
Nothing gets better, nothing has
Whatever, I guess your right with everything you do
How can I beleive
You are here
When you act like your about to leave?
Because when I need you, You're never near
You ignore me when I try to talk
Yet I'm always here to listen
When I need you, you go and walk
Away from my problems, do you know what I'm missing
It's somebody that will
Help and not kill
Like you used to be
Not the you thats killing me
I just wish you could
Start acting like
The one who I knew would
Never take a strike
At my heart
I just want the person you were at our start
Maybe I'm asking way too much
Of you to just
Help and love,
Some I can give my trust
But lately all you've done is crush
and brush
Author notes
Had to let it out. I just wish she would start caring and not ignore me.
A contest entry
- What Hurts The Most by Ignis Corpus.
750 points, ended April 20, 2008, 58 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - quicky! anything goes! as always i want your best! by urapns66.
375 points, ended April 2, 2008, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Say What You Need To Say by Blooming Poet.
300 points, ended April 14, 2008, 46 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Love AND PAIN by Ben and Brook.
300 points, ended April 28, 2008, 37 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Break My Heart by Jocilynn Destroyed.
600 points, ended April 25, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Title: 3/5- Interesting.
Venting: 35/50- You vent well, but it is hard to feel any emotion when one is caught up with spelling and grammar errors.
My Personal Like/Dislike: 8/15- I love grammar, what can I say.
Followed Rules: 20/20- Perfect
Grammer/Spelling: 5/10- If you would like, I can go through the poem and find your spelling and grammar errors, just say the word.
Total: 71/100
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I feel the anger, disappointment and pain coming through. You portray these well.
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Title: 4/5- A little too simple
Venting: 40/50- A little too cliche
My Personal Like/Dislike: 15/15- I can relate
Followed Rules: 20/20- Perfect
Grammer/Spelling: 8/10- Rhyme is a little forced in parts
Total: 87/100
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this is really well written its just the flow could use some work. good job though
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nice
Ok I lied, THIS is better than hypocrite!!!!
Cool flow -
oh my god. i tried to pick a favorite part, but the whole thing blew my mind. it was painful and sad. i'm sorry you have to go through this. however, this poem is amazing. wow.
<3
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Wow Tim. This was good. I could feel your pain seeping through the words. I hope everything gets better. Great poem kiddo.
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