We clasped closed our jackets
As we waited in the violet shadowed
hall of a somber funeral home
Silence dripped a water color texture
from the ring of our eyes
Pale was the silhouette of the long
winding pathway that took us all forward,
to the end of his book
The end of a story that was still
crisp pages of vivid anecdotes
One by one the dirt crunched beneath
our feet,
as we fanned out behind the casket
in a bright cold morning.
Author notes
Simple is something I can do. Don't know why your list made me think of something sad though?
A contest entry
- For The Simple Minded by Dalaney.
900 points, ended March 29, 2008, 18 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Ultimate Goal by N e a r.
20000 points, ended June 2, 2008, 946 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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i just lost a dear friend to alcoholism 4 days ago.
Of the many funerals in my life i have been to...this one got me.
Your work here is moment in time, which i love.
The forth stanza is amazing as is the entire piece.
As in your poem the glow of the morning was a stark contrast to the way we all felt.
but being born in Belfast, my people make a huge celebration of these losses, great tales of the life that was lead, informing the young ones of his goodness and celebrating the release of his earthly bounds.
So beautiful how you brought closure and respect and perspective to the great mystery of life and death.
Great work lassie,
so good to read your work,
LOWELL
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I am very sorry to hear about your friend. It must be very hard on you. I really like the idea of making a celebration of a person's life. I think I would like that when I die.
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this poem is so good but its also sad. Still it paints a vivid picture.
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Excellent imagery.congratulations on you HM.Sad but beautiful words that paint a picture.Glad you liked my poem too.Thanks for commenting, Ros
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Beautiful
Very clear and powerful imagery in this one my friend. I haven't reviewed in awhile, but I can see you're still a great poet. Well Done and Congrats! ~Peace~Gar -
An excellent piece of poetry, you had me in the first few lines and kept me. I love that. I really like your style
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And, my friend, simple is something you do WELL. I love this entry. Happy or sad, you found inspiration in the words, and the result is wonderful. Love, Lane
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It's amazing how the same words can bring about different types of pieces. It's great to see you write again.
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The still quiet full of sadness and those quirky smiling memories that find us to help absolve the pain are caught beautifully. The walk, the spiritual cleansing all caught beautifull in well choosen images and simple clear language as pure as the sadness and the blessing that comes to be heard beyond the grief.
Stunning.
Love, Tom B.
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A journey with mystery
It kept me reading though unsure my path
Glad that I followed though
To the bright, cold end.
Tecohe -
This is so vivid and saddening. Even so, it is a well penned simplicity of emotion that draws one in, causing eyes to swell of flood waters. Too often, I have walked this graying trail from pew to mound, as slowed pace concerted by wails press feet into seemingly sponged ground. It is said that in death, we should rejoice and in life we should wail.. so in that sense, this masterpiece isn't sad at all. However as human as I am, I fail in strength, weeping like infant relieved of sweets. This by far is one of your better writs... even with presentation and clarity. Thank you for sharing and best wishes in the comp
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What a pretty review.
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