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about a guy, a lizard and death

 

 


my eyes talk into yours, show you

how a small lizard, warming his belly
on a sun-baked rock before fleeing into a crevice,
is a metaphor, a ribbon of words, a pebble,
throbbing in the palm
of a poet

yes, you say,
there are many, many unwritten poems
in this world, and most have a crevice
between the legs, like an entrance
to the secret tunnel
of dying

all around me I hear the sound
of an earth as it spins and turns,
and in the colour of your eyes the throb
of something four-footed,  
the lizard-movements
of a body,

and I say:
have I ever told you
that a cantadora once wrote:
to make love is “un baile con La Muerte?

you, my mr Neruda, are dancing with death –
it’s a good thing that I love you


so harmlessly

 

 

 

 







 

Author notes

un baile con La Muerte: a dance with death
cantadora: wise storyteller

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 46 of 46

  • Thomas Scott gold member
    August 3, 2008
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    Boffo!

    ... and another powerful opening line ...
    Good stuff. Congrats on the Gold.


  • CaliOkie silver member
    June 22, 2008

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    Well deserved gold. This is just so perfect. You strike a perfect emotional balance, never falling into anything too "muddy." Well constructed and so well written. Excellent.

    Garrison


  • Swan song gold member
    June 7, 2008
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    Well what can be said about this other than awesome!


  • sassykitty
    May 24, 2008

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    i really liked this - it's unusual particularly in the use of the extended metaphor and imagery throughout. it's good to read a 'different' interpretation of emotions. really do like the 'entrance to the secret tunnel of dying' line - that's brilliantly evocative. Great write.


  • requiempoet gold member
    May 3, 2008

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    Very interesting. Not my usual cup of tea, but I enjoy trying new things. It certainly deserved the piece of gold!


  • Cannonsfire
    April 25, 2008

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    As Cohen did, you 'dance me to the edge of love' and then return me..always have a smile when I am finishing reading your pieces. Done with flair and style. Love, C

  • Melissa Gayle gold member
    April 25, 2008

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    There is nothing to say to this...

    you are an amazing poet.


  • Balldinger silver member
    April 23, 2008

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    stray no further...

    amphibiously gorgeous. makes me wanna flick my tongue and learn Spanish the way Neruda inherently spoke it. profoundly beautiful and always on the mark.


  • ferg silver member
    April 4, 2008

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    Beautiful

    The title definitely intrigued me, and I was not dissapointed. I loved the conversational style that followed your meandering thoughts. Created a "fly on the wall" effect for me. Beautiful!

    Ferg


    • Nicolette gold member
      April 4, 2008
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      Thanks, Ferg - good to see you again


      • ferg silver member
        April 4, 2008
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        Ditto. I have decided to make time for reading (and hopefully writing more as well) some of the poets on this site who have left me wanting more. You are definitely one of them, you have a way of expressing those aspects of being human in such beautiful and profound words. Thank you for that.


  • soulfultia gold member
    April 2, 2008

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    Many unwritten poems...aye...so right. I feel with certainty...you will help write them Lovely penning, love the story within your lines, lovely. ~Tia


  • Cup-a-Joe
    April 1, 2008
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    I am looking for a metaphor. PM me one.lol
    Nice poem.
    Joe


  • Mari Goes gold member
    March 30, 2008

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    Who would guess what was coming under the title...
    You, absolutely amazing!

    • Nicolette gold member
      March 30, 2008
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      ... Thanks, Mari...bit tongue-in-the-cheeck but still love


  • zochit2me gold member
    March 30, 2008

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    Amazing what love will make one write about...

    there are many, many unwritten poems
    in this world, and most have a crevice
    between the legs, like an entrance
    to the secret tunnel
    of dying

    Great title by the way as well as what followed it.

    Becky


  • Serene
    March 30, 2008
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    Your work is filled wiht so much significances, great imagery! well done!~


  • Namita
    March 28, 2008

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    Yeah, Nicolette Guy has changed your style a little little bit But as Leander said there's still that Nicolette-touch to it... that beauty-touch... so beautiful I'm sure Guy loved this lovely, unique piece...

    - namita


  • arafura gold member
    March 28, 2008
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    The little death...! This is stunning poet. It touched me deeply.

    • Nicolette gold member
      March 29, 2008
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      Thanks, John - looking forward to read something new from you again too!!


  • IronIcecream
    March 28, 2008

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    a dance to step
    too many steps
    the pardox
    that cursed blesssing
    rot warm round bellied
    in the sun
    the endless love is death


    • Nicolette gold member
      March 28, 2008
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      Love always is a dance with death; it has a Life/Death/Life nature - the paradox of creation... thank you


  • Tangled Angle
    March 28, 2008
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    beautiful

  • Yvette Champ gold member
    March 27, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    !


  • Heart Sutra
    March 27, 2008

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    I think I must have really been out for a long long time, maybe even in a work coma taunted by nightmares, because I completely missed the Guy & Nic connection!!!! And, I consider myself very close to both of you all.

    Seriously, I enjoyed reading both poems. Wonderful play off of each other!


    • Nicolette gold member
      March 28, 2008
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      Jaaa...see what happens when you stay away too long, Zayra

      Thank you, my friend


  • leander Moderators member
    March 27, 2008

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    Aren't you experimenting with a new style here my friend?

    I've noticed your poetry has grown from 'surreal' lets say, to a more detailed and descriptive format (or is it me)

    anyway, maybe different than what you'd post some months ago, but definitely still has that Nicolette-touch to it.



    remarkable piece, that just earner a place in my bookmarks


    • Nicolette gold member
      March 28, 2008
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      Always experimenting and learning, Leander...but I feel like writing a shorter one again, lol. Thank you, my friend


  • Night Hope gold member
    March 27, 2008

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    I love this poem, & you know why. I also love you...& that, you also know why. Beeeeeeeeautiful, m'Lady. Good luck in Shirley's contest, my dear Friend. Vlindertjie


  • NoIQ gold member
    March 27, 2008

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    Well, this is refreshing. I usually expect the lizard and the guy to be the same thing in a woman's poem ...

    Now, once again, I am confident you will expect me to read sex into this piece because, well, because I always do out of principle. THIS TIME, though, I am reasonably confident I am supposed to.

    The "peitite mort" seems to be the kind of death expected from "a crevice / between the legs, like an entrance / to the secret tunnel / of dying." Well, at least that's the type of death I would like to envision, and since this is a Pablo Neruda-inspired piece, I am relatively confident so would he. ESPECIALLY since you introduced the image earlier with "how a small lizard, warming his belly /
    on a sun-baked rock before fleeing into a crevice." Well let me tell you, that is one happy lizard.

    Yeah, it may come as a shock, but me and Pablo do share some qualities. He's the better poet, but he also has a y chromosome like me... And his poetry reflects that he knew how to make use of it... And he too would like to think of his own lizard being described like a rock discovering a crevice..." I'm telling you, I know the guy.

    And oh yeah, don't get me started on the use of "throb" in "all around me I hear the sound / of an earth as it spins and turns, / and in the colour of your eyes the throb" ...

    Uh huh. Like I said, Pablo would read this going "Yes, Nicolette, yes, YES!"

    SERIOUSLY, as everyone else already has noted, this is a truly marvelous piece. Your really do have a tremendous knack for capturing the allure and sensuality of your surroundings in a fantastic manner. It is sensual, imagic, and quite beautiful. You have a fantastic muse, and that muse produces masterful poetry...


    • Nicolette gold member
      March 28, 2008
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      SERIOUSLY Monte, I love it that you've mentioned 'petit morte' as that was exactly my point...and the guy-lizard's too, lol. And if mr Neruda says YES who am I to say no?

      Thanks, Monte - Pablo and I might just hire you as our lawyer!


      • NoIQ gold member
        March 28, 2008
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        Yeah, I'm waiting for my own Neruda-inspired poem written by any of a number of women who grace US Weekly. I really think Ashley Alexandra Dupre, for instance, could probably use a pick-me-up right now, and should pen me a piece... You know me, I want to help women like Ashley when they're a bit down on their luck.


  • Sonja
    March 27, 2008

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    It is obvious that you are slowly changing your stile, and I like this part of your personality very much. Less abstract, more descriptive and vivid and warm and unique like love is. Perfect!
    ~Sonja~


  • tara wilson gold member
    March 27, 2008

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    this is so good Nic....what a unique love poem & (I feel)a different mood/toned poem for you...I really enjoyed this..loved this stanza:

    "all around me I hear the sound
    of an earth as it spins and turns,
    and in the colour of your eyes the throb
    of something four-footed,
    the lizard-movements
    of a body,"

    .....


  • Randomly Beautiful
    March 27, 2008

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    This is just brilliant. The imagery was amazing. I could envision this clearly as I read along. I so love your work.

  • Shannon
    March 27, 2008

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    Oooh! There must be something in the air of late because I too have been reading/listening/recalling my Spanish.

    First of all, I love the image (almost even felt) the "throbbing in the palm" of the little lizard...and to compare it to a poem = brilliant.

    Also, I know this was inspired by Neruda, but the part about the "crevice between the legs" being an entrance to a sort of death...well, just last night I was reading Louise Gluck, and she has a poem that touches on that, too. I love how life presents us with all these connections, bonds, themes.

    Absolutely beautiful. I love the word "cantadora." It's so fitting. English is so limited compared to the layers in another language. A story teller, cantadora, and yet, cantar means to sing...and this reminds me of flamenco and the influence from the Moors, their own version of telling the story of their soul through song and dance. Much like poetry.

    Well done. It's a gorgeous poem.

  • Rowan gold member
    March 27, 2008

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    Touche. lol.
    Loved this, and yes, men and women differ in so many ways, but it all boils down to the same dance.
    Very humourous, and yet, still beautiful. How do you do it?
    lol.


  • SurelyWritten
    March 27, 2008

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    I've read this three times now, and I just don't know what to say.. Obviously, I love the ending, I'm sure you realized how brilliant it was when you penned it...

    I also loved the descriptives, Neruda is your ideal man, in Guy- I struggled to picture you watching him, and somehow see a sun-bathing lizard, but you connected it all so well.

    The structure too is well done and the poem is smooth.. I really loved this, and I am so glad you entered it. I just wish I could tell you truly the effect this had on me.

    It is lovely. It is stunning..

    S


  • PageTurner
    March 27, 2008

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    A pleasurable dance
    I'm sure your "Guy" ...will Love it!




    I sure did, my Friend.

    ~ Nicky♥


  • Allyce May gold member
    March 27, 2008

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    "it’s a good thing that I love you


    so harmlessly"

    So lovely! I do so enjoy your less flowery ones. It pleases me to bathe in the words of your love and become all dreamy eyed, but these ones are so real I feel like I can reach out and touch them.

    You know what I think of your poetry, and this is no exception! Your work is so unique and always leaves me something to think about. Also, you are one of the few poets whose poems I'll read over and over until I could almost recite it.

    Sppppplendid my Dear


  • Suzanne Dia
    March 27, 2008

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    Those last two words make this a masterpiece.

    harmlessly

    is such a powerful word.

    Lovely love from the two of you again today!




  • luckynsincere
    March 27, 2008

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    I was impressed here... but I knew I would be when I clicked. You have always been one of my FAVORITE poets here on this site.

    The wording as you know I will say, is SUPERB! But it more than just that... you allow "conversation" perse with out the use of the infamous " " which I admire on your part. I feel that the "" takes away from a poem.

    This is perfect. I also loved the sincerity in your authors notes... equally as beautiful as the poem itself. Well done on this one.

    When we are writing for our "guy" its easy to forget they drown quickly in the petals


  • MJ Donnelly gold member
    March 27, 2008

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    Oh, this is sublime! Aww Nicky! I'm at a loss for words here dear. *sigh*


    Love and peace always,
    mj.

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