~ ((~ As I Ponder ~)) ~
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~ When before I was brought to know such
a day as this... yes once it weighed heavily
on me the thought, will it ever come... .
Yes and my pain, will it never end? ~
~ While in the instance of my depression
I was unable to see the love of God well
within the waters, kind reflection, but
now, now through Him I have come to
behold and live to tell of the treasure
therein contained and abounding, within
this joyous and ever humbling divine day
for me of revelation, and so now, now my-
joy has been sustained. For when I am to
ponder the simple nature of His love in all
of its purity, and patient delights, visions
of these they skip across my mind from
time to time. As my eager-hand... the
open gesture, it moves to lay ahold
of the promise of another. ~
~ As this intention that I've picked up I carry
now and cast briskly... into the darkness of
the moist liquids, to land. As the ripples gentle
gliding they come to move in freedom across
the vivid reflection of this glassy sheen, while
slowly they are brought to roll along evenly
with me and onward to lay in peace beside
the stillness, of the open shores. As swiftly my-
thoughts of God and life they move and dance,
upon the humble shallows deeper and ever deeper
into the heart, of the waters... and so my heart
here stands in view of this and feeling fonder. ~
~ For the tender... thoughtful kisses I give each
place here in my heart that abide amid the presence
of Gods' supreme love, and perfect goodness, given now-
for the many blessings that I see. Amid the glory of His
many other wonders, I give my heart again this day, more-
time... for the nature of their open beauty, to ponder. ~
Author notes
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I wrote this for a "20" Line 1/2 hour contest...
I didn't have much time... so I hope that it was written well enough for you...
I have since amended it several times...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~ The reason that there are Hyphens "so many of them") is because I have a computer that speaks them with a faster and slower and higher and lower pitch of voice, giving a certain kind of ebb-and-flow to the work with a softer more fervent and realistic and consistent tone, when I use the hyphens and other punctuation in the certain places that I do, when in telling it what to do. Allowing it to speak in even a moderate voice if I choose. It sounds very free flowing when I hear it, and I can only hope that you will be able to here it in the same way. Thank you for reading and God bless you ... ~
James ~
Prompts:
Quotes;
If the stars faded, I'd still be there for you.
I pick #1 OPTION 1: Give me celestial imagery. If you don't know what that is, then this option probably isn't for you, because I REALLY want some amazing work with this subject. Prewrites allowed.
- Lifez 4 fUn group list • next in list
A contest entry
- Quickie Prompt 10-20-30 by piccola.
600 points, ended March 27, 2008, 4 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Take me to a beautiful place by Yellow-Rose.
600 points, ended May 15, 2008, 35 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Stopping The Ignorance Against Depression. by Poetryintheblood.
525 points, ended May 21, 2008, 19 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Finding Love [True Love Waits Forever][Awaiting Arrival Of Unborn Child] by stargazer..
400 points, ended April 20, 62 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - modern depression by Dangerousparable.
900 points, ended January 9, 13 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Silver To Gold by Mercury Rising.
800 points, ended June 10, 8 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - prewrites, please! by division.
400 points, ended October 28, 182 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest - No One Cares by perfectdarkangel.
700 points, ended November 22, 2 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest - Give me your very best!!!! Tons of points! by God is my reality.
1450 points, ended November 24, 258 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest - Looking For New Favourites. by TheSpiralGenerator.
400 points, ends November 25, 59 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest - CELEBRATE 17 NOVEMBER- FOR AWARD-WINNING POEMS OF THE PAST YEAR by Vera Rich.
700 points, ended November 24, 95 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest - Prewrite Quickie by Mango Memories.
400 points, ended November 17, 5 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
How did it make you feel? What could I have done differently?
Comments
1 - 87 of 87
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you took this poem somewhere. I like. And am impressed
Bravo.
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Thank you... .
Skipping rocks is when I find life at its simplest; Most refreshing.
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Amazing
This piece has amazing imagery and the song goes so well with it. Thanks so much for entering and good luck to you. <3 -
What prompt did you pick?
But I liked it, it was very intresting... good luck. -
I like how you put the imagery go along with your poem very smart and it was fasnicated!
I enjoy reading it it was a great write thanks for entering my contest and good luck 
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thank you for entering
wow, the imagery was fantastic and i could picture it all, a really amazing piece and a brilliant write, just amazing! good luck and thanks for entering!
-penguin- -
this poem was a delight to read.
i liked how you described your journey with god and the beautiful imagery you put along with it. i could see it all in my mind.
good job and good luck!
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As he moves me further along the shores I travel.
He opens my heart bit more the farther I go with Him. Thank yo so much for reading.
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This is beautfiul and uplifting, but not what I would consider a children's poem. I hope you will not be offended, therefore, if I remove it from my contest.
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Inspiring to help one to ponder, meditate on the beauty around and within. Excellent words of obedience. Blessings.
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Awesome
Very inspirational write. I love the flow and the imagery. Thank you so much for sharing such a great piece. Easy to see why you won all the shiny things.
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I'm glad you entered this into my contest. It's very original. It's like a recipe to meals people pay millions to eat. This is my happy meal poem.
As I read the poem I did wonder why you hypened some words. But reading why you did, it makes it shine more. Great job! -
Thanks for entering.
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~ As this intention that I've picked up I carry
now and cast-briskly ... into the darkness of
the moist liquids, to land. As the-ripples gentle
gliding they come to move in freedom across
the vivid reflection, of this glassy-sheen, while
slowly they are brought to roll along evenly
with me-and-onward to-lay in peace-beside
the stillness; of the open-shores. As-swiftly my-
thoughts of God-and-life they move and-dance,
upon the-humble shallows deeper and-ever deeper
into the heart, of the waters ... and so my heart
here stands-in view of-this-and feeling fonder. ~
I could picture this in my mind, Thanks for entering!
♥ -
This is a lovely write. You have done well here and I could feel the sincerity in your words. Well done and thank you for entering my contest.
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As-swiftly my-
thoughts of God-and-life they move and-dance,
upon the-humble shallows deeper and-ever deeper
into the heart, of the waters
These were my favorites lines here. Skipping of stones across the water... what a wonderful metaphor.
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I really liked this piece. It was outstanding and amazing. Fantastic emotions in this! Phenomenal imagery as well! WOW! BRAVO! AWESOME JOB! keep up the good work! thanks for entering and good luck in my contest!
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This is a very personal poem obviously close to your heart. Thank you for sharing and best of luck in the contest.
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oh and if you could please put "damned if I do and damned if I dont in your author notes I would greatly appreciate it in order for me to judge the contest fairly, sorry andi redhanded
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I enjoyed this write....very much. thank you for entering and best of luck to you in the future and with your writing andi-redhanded
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Each one of your entries have been in my previous contest!
And this has been in a lot of contests
This must be one of your favourites.
Thanks for entering and best of luck
xoxo. -
Now I've noticed each of the poems you've entered into my contest were about God.
I believe I did write in the rules no religion, but I won't remove you.
Thanks for entering and best of luck
xoxo. -
This was awesome! I loved it! WOW! BRAVO! such great emotions in this, and amazing imagery as well. Keep up the good work! thanks for entering and good luck in my contest!
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Thank you for entering.
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I actually just went to the ocean...and tried to skip rocks while meditating...lets just say I'm not good at skipping rocks, but I sat on a big rock and just stared out to sea. Even when I'm feeling my saddest I try to find a memory that makes me happy...after all life is too short to be sad.
Great imagery, thought provoking and beautiful. -
great poem..lots of imagery...enjoyed the read..
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This is a beautiful poem. Unfortunately it does not really capture the prompt at all. Hope you will write a fresh poem, pondering on the prompt.
Take care -
Thank you for entering the contest. Unfortunately I will have to disqualify it and remove it from the contest as there is a twenty (20) line limit. If you have any other poem you would like to enter that is under twenty (20) lines and have won a bronze trophy, please enter. Thanks so much.
Leance
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Magnificent!
Thank you for entering!
Sophie
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I liked the descriptiveness and the imagery was good. I especially liked: "As the-ripples gentle
gliding they come to move in freedom across
the vivid reflection, of this glassy-sheen" Thanks for entering and good luck!
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Your descriptions and imagery are beautiful. Diction is well thought out and completely breath-taking. I like the use of the hyphens, too. I would go more in depth with my comment, but unfortunately this poem doesn't fit my contest. I asked for nothing religious. If it wasn't so much about god, I probably would have given this a trophy. Best of luck for your future endeavors.
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Not exactly what I wanted. But it was a good wright. Thanks for entering.
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You're a gorgeous writer. I was reigned in by the very first line. My favourite lines were:
"Within
this joyous and ever humbling-divine day
for me of revelation, and so now; now-my-
joy-has-been-sustained."
It just brought something out for me. Thank you(: -
When we are at our lowest we don't see the way there are beautiful things in the world. I hope you see it better now.
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I love your imagery. It's so captivating, and how you phrased everything was absolutely inspiring and mind-blowing. I loved this.
-As this intention that I've picked up I carry
now and cast-briskly ... into the darkness of
the moist liquids, to land. As the-ripples gentle
gliding they come to move in freedom across
the vivid reflection, of this glassy-sheen, while
slowly they are brought to roll along evenly
with me-and-onward to-lay in peace-beside
the stillness; of the open-shores.
...
That's very beautifully penned. I love how you wrote that. I could picture the scenery in my mind as I read it.
Thank you for entering
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Thank you for entering. Good job.
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What a journey. I like the Autor Notes. I actually read this one with a braille display, but my computer also talks and I will come back to see how it reads this poem. It's a unique and interesting style to use and it's not as hard to read as something say in several different columns or random capital letters. What I'm trying to say, is that at least for me, this poem is easily readable.
The poems concept was fascinating and it rattled my emotional cages because I have in my own rite experienced something similar.
It does something that I tried to get a lot of my poetry from earlier this year to do. It's started by setting up the scenario, it voyaged to a dark place, but it managed to come out on top. You have also done a great job at using metaphor; Water seems to be such a great metaphor to use.
A journey taken by mind, body, soul, and most importantly, the spirit.
Great work.
BC.
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An excellent spiritual poem with some wonderful imagery. Best off luck, and thanks for entering.
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You have a very fascinating poetic style and voice, that sounds both biblical and romantic at once, and this poem is really like some kind of poetic parable that was a pleasure to read and ponder. Best of luck in my contest, and thanks for entering. Congratulations on winning all those trophies as well.
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nice write. your message makes me think about myself and see what the world has to offer. your form is lengthy though but the words you crafted are awesome. thanks for sharing and good luck in the contest.
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I felt that maybe the feeling you were trying to get across could have been done a little more effectively, with so many poems that sound just like this and are written just like this the message tends to be lost, only my opinion though, thank you for entering my contest and good luck
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Nicely written! Thanks a lot for your entry and the brilliant read! Good Luck!
Regards,
Mekhala
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You're a very talented writer and a joy to read!
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Wonderful share James.
A fantastic write, I wish you luck.
Simon
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Beautifully done! and the hyphens don't bother me...some people's minds read with the same sort of lows and highs as your computer. Smiles. I enjoyed the picture your poem painted for me. Write on, poet.
Blessings,
Myth
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I loved it for its message. Not many people are capable of voicing such emotion, and dedication through just a message... you really helped the reader understand and relate throughout the entire piece.
I wasn't a big fan of the form ... but that was more of a personal thing, because I feel like linebreaking should be used to emphasis, not just shape. But still, it flowed right off the tongue.
And also had some really nice, pure, raw beauty to it
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This is very cool
It has a very beautiful form to it and your entry is appreciated. Thanks!
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Holy love takes as much work as earthly love I think. For both, there has to be a place asembled within awaiting to be filled by the feeling and accept what comes, as it comes and not... how we would like it or have dreamed it to be.
A lovely write.
s and best wishes always... ~genie~
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Very good! You have certainly thought deeply about your subject matter and it reads aloud very nicely. I enjoyed this very much!
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Average rating 3.85 out of 5
I judged your poem with 5 criteria on a scored of 1 to 5 for each. This poem was hard for me to judge. I didn't really understand how your flow was supposed to go. At first i thought 3.5 and then the lady that's helping me judge it suggested 5 for flow so i averaged the score for flow and gave you 4.25.
Use of the 5 senses -2 you didn't use 3 of the senses
Metaphors- 5 you did an awesome job with your metaphors
Feeling- 4 It had a lot of feeling but you didn't knock my socks off
Unity- 4 Very good unity
Flow- 4.25
Average rating 3.85
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Beautiful!
I was amazed by the imagery you conveyed inthis poem. Just a good read from beginning to end. THANKS for doing this!!!
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"As this intention that I've picked up I carry
now and cast-briskly ... into the darkness of
the moist liquids, to land."
Love the imagery in those lines. I must say this is not what I expected for my contest but it is a great suprise to read. Very well written.
"~ While in the instance of my depression
I was unable to see the love of God well
within the waters, kind reflection; but
now; now through Him I have come to
behold and live to tell of the treasure
therein contained and abounding."
Depression often masks many kinds of love. I'm glad you were able to find his.
Thankyou for entering.
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Love it!
Your words are very soothing and comforting. I can relate to feeling pain, giving it to God, and then receiving hope and comfort. I often go to the beach to feel close to God and let my troubles go, so this poem really speaks to me. Well done!
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Amazing writing, breathtaking. You have penned your love of God beautifully.
All the best
Emma
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Simply breathtaking!! your imagery Is flawless, such an enjoyable read
All the best to you
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you did it
you took us for a ride across the water... it was as if we were that rock skipping across the water, enjoying the view, looking for a destination... looking for a way to inspire. I don't know how you did it, but you took us there. A talent very few writers imho can do. To take your reader where you are, to bring them into your thoughts, to get them to feel what you feel, to paint a picture that they complete in their minds... such are the goals of great writers... easily aspired to, not easily attained... well done - Kevin
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This is truly beautiful and a wonderful statement of faith. Well done!
Love,
Amera♥ -
Such wonderful ponderings. I really enjoyed this read. Makes me reflect upon the Accent of St. John of the Cross in the Dark Night of the Soul and the journey of St. Therese where from the first step up and out of the torrent waters; then by power of memory, hope yeilds forward the second step. By power of free-will charity/love/humility advance the third step and finally by power of knowledge and wisdom of God advance the bridge walled in faith with no fear of ever falling back only Heaven bound.
Love is grand isn't it? And I felt this here. Well done,
~Mary O
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lovely
amasing i wish i could write like you i love how you described the love of god (in witch you belive in so much) as a kind reflection in the river pure genious
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My goodness, James...
When will you stop making me cry? lol
You read my heart, my thoughts and feelings, even better than I do myself.
It is an honor to know you - and to be blessed with your lovely words, dear one!
Debbie
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Fantastic Job...
God can cure all Life's woes, even the deepest of life's lost souls, he may bring them to the brightest prarie. Very beautiful write. This poem captures the reader and holds on till the final line, leaving them wishing for more to come, rich with deceptive emotion, that makes you ponder upon life. Brilliant job, please keep writing...
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This is a very moving piece of writing a nd very inspiring as always thankyou for sharing littlefishone
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Wonderful, congratulations on your prior placements with this piece. Thank you for entering the contest, good luck.
♥
whisper
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very nice poem
with a wonderful message
god is a wonderful message
and
i thank you so much for entering this
thank you and good luck -
Thank you for your much heartfelt and insightful entry, good luck in my contest, Josie
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Made me feel bleessed
And son such a write has never moved me as nuch as this one has today. You have let God play upon your keyboard through your fingers and blessed so many with this write of faith and love we all carry within us even at our lowest of times and he does whisper only they choose to ignore for the drugs within them so silences their minds to love yet even in the flicker of a moment as he watches he never stops trying to save his children. I wish more people who are on drugs could find this sight or have it as part of their healing jouney back to the real life. Bless you for this write it should be a gold all the way across the board
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Oh My~
Beautiful piece but Unfortunately it was not in a previous contest I hosted to qualify for this *particular contest* which called for that requirement...So sorry...
But Magnificent verse You've penned
Many blessings to You in the other contests~
Best wishes too
and much love~ Desire~*~
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This was a lovely peice of art here thank you for the entry
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'While vividly my thoughts they move and dance upon the humble shallows deeper and ever deeper into the heart... of the waters... and so my heart here stands in view of this... and feeling fonder.' ~ Your words flow so beautifully. I loved entering this world. Thank you for your entry
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vivid imagery. I got a great visual of skipping rocks and the ripples moving outward as someone watches, pondering.
was it really done in 20 minutes? Quite an accomplishment. -
I think this is a very beautiful write. It is gentle and soothing as the waters over the pebbles, glimmering with joy and thanksgiving. Well done.
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I like the way you've written this. I've not seen anything like it before. But it's pretty cool!
Thankyou for entering and good luck
Katie -
well done. although it was not written for my contest, it still fit very well. great job.
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your mind is deep and open to the voice of God's Spirit. I enjoyed this one greatly poet.
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Hmmm, got me pondering on this one as well. Nicely wrote.
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As for,"How did it make you feel? What could I have done differently?". This piece of reflecting on the best of gifts life has to offer.Aids the reader in a calming sensation along with the author.Deep as the stream the stones skip and ripple across in reflecting comes to the reader via the scribed verse. Nice!
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Congrats on the silver...well deserved. Some of the best poetry is written in only half hour...what you've achieved here is a beautiful flow of thoughts. It's so uplifting yet with much depth in it. Brilliant work my friend...I love it!
Hugs, Annie
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wow... this is great... I love your images... Your deeper meaning... I love the feeling his gave me... The stones were perfect... everything about this ~ brilliantly done
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Holy cow, you wrote this in a 1/2 hour?!?! This is absolutly fantastic, beautiful and uplifting. I had "one of those days" today....I came home in a bad mood, settled in and decided to read a bit of poetry, maybe to change this crappy mood around.... This was the poem I randomly picked. My plan worked. I do feel better! Thanks for that! Honestly I dont think I have read anything by you that didnt have this exact effect.....This is my way of saying you are being added to my favorites, lol. Thanks for a beautiful, mood-changing read.
(written and worded superbly by the way)
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Awsome
Stones are a structure of support and hold us up, the make our home sturdy, so each and everyone has a special blessing and a special place in our hearts and souls.
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Lol I love it!!! I don't know what else to say.. I've said so many thing with your poetry I do believe that I have finally run out of things to say.. this was great though..
Peace to you, Jetleena -
This is beautiful and is truly something to ponder. I don't think you needed any more time as it turned out very well. I see the judge agrees with me as you have a shiny trophy on it.
Love,
Amera
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Goodness James!!! It seems you were born to create beautiful pieces like this one. I'm so happy that you placed in the contest. This is a wonderfully thought out piece and the imagery is really awesome. I love the pic too. It reminds me of the Smokey Mountians.
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wow makes me want to go out and admire the beauty that God created great write
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Wonderful words you have shared here- nice silver to show for it too. Think this looks more like prose than poetry, but can see the rhythm in these lines. Would like to see how this looks when lines separated, not all joined like this. Congrats on the placing.
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LOVELY picture!!!!
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great take on the prompt. This is lovely.
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