Time's sands shifting through the conscience
looking for the piers of possibility
supported by theory's shaky pylons
where one can fish for epiphanies
from the tempest sanguine sea in swelling sagacity.
Waves of chance crash against
opinion's ancient planks where one seeks to stand,
our doubts ricochet off cerebral ears
with their piercing ripples of enigma echoes.
Mind feels the haze of confusion's cloud the sight
fog-horn of pontificating philosophies
chants its presumptive guiding warnings.
As its tones become murmurs
convincing the haze is illusion's smoke-rings
and that door knobs to heaven
can be found by swimming
towards their resonance.
Author notes
Word Bank
Pylons
Doorknobs
Ricochet
Fog-horn
Smoke-rings
A contest entry
- all poets love to roll words around in their mouth ~take 2~ by Star of Atlantis.
600 points, ended April 30, 2008, 8 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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Well once again you left my senses reeling!!! You are such a magnificent writer and this is just another example of how brilliant you are!!! The imagery and emotions conveyed here were just beautifully flawless!! I stand in the glory of your words and bask in their warmth that only you can convey!!! A marvelous piece written by you and I have been humbled by the experience of reading it!! Well done and best of luck here.....
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well done
better sagacity than salacity.... or, perhaps. there are many beautiful phrases here, juxtopositions of ephema. Amazing that humans continually seek frames to box up ineffables.
well done -
You knwo penman you are my hero right? every time I run across one of your poems i am exceedingly impressed by your intellect and amazing vocabulary. There is nothing that I can say about this really. Because the whole thing is just so perfectly penned in my opinion.
You put a lot of these words and phrases together so amazingly and still used your poetic devices. By far... no question... hands down My favorite line has to be "From the tempest sanguine sea in swelling sagacity."
I love it... you are amazing.. ^^
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Thank you so much for you kind comment.
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This contest was made to order for you... you are a master of rolling words around in "our heads"... I didn't doubt for a minute you would pull this one off with aplomb...
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A poem of elegance, perfectly blending words that reap.
Your talent never fails to amaze me
Good luck in the contest
Julie
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Beautiful use and structure of the English Language!
An exceptional composition as all of your writings are
--Well done and best of luck in the contest!! -
I too have to bow down to the metaphor God, really. Although this may make some readers grab the dictionary, others like me are just too lazy, lol.
The only technical glitch I see is the word 'my' in the 4th line, I think you meant something else there?
This is great work, best of luck!
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Thanks for the great comment and pointing out the glitch.
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oh wow i bow down to the mediphore god/ess... i love the things you play with here ... and i thought i had a pretty extensive vocabulary and i still had look up a word i had never seen nor heard before, sagacity. and what a brilliant way to use it! thank you frirst off for teaching me something new i love to learn. this is a deep and thought provoking poem that strongly appeals to my intelegence, which of course makes me love it. there is one thing i would change to give the poem more impact and take the reader further. and that is to change the word their ( the first one) to our. by doing this simple word change you force the reader in deeper and with the way you have it you leave it to disjointed and it destracts the path you lay out so nicely. but as with all changes i require that you dont take me for my take on it... think about it yourself and if the feel sounds good to you too than make the change. if not no biggie. i dont run contests to judge word usage. i run it to read good poetry and you have accomplished allowing me to do just that. if you do change it however let me know as i will defenately want to revisit it. also dont think this is the only time i will stop by here ... i will read every entry several times before i come to a decision about any poem. thank you for your wonderful submission. good luck in the contest.
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Thank you for the wonderful comment. I did change the first their to our.
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The sign of a brilliant poet shows within these lines you have taken the wordbank dressed the words with language which is a trademark of your pen. Your introduction reflectted your title and flitered through each stanza without overowering the reader. Very well crafted.
Good luck in this contest.
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oh grandpa your wordbank that you had was difficult but you have managed to make it into something inspiring and meaningful well done
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Great use of the word bank--Favorite verse:
As its tones become murmurs
convincing the haze is illusion's smoke-rings
and that door knobs to heaven
can be found by swimming
towards their resonance.
Best of luck in the contest!!
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