And she has not been spared in any way
the pain that hunger and want might bring
warning clouds rise from red parched clay
sore seasons dim hopeful stirrings.
Life rose as daylight faded pale
silhouettes of eroded memories
uneasy sleep dusky exhale
Needs stalk with glowing eyes in trees
Elephant tusks piled with tears
placed with care by mourning
and pathways walked for dusty years
circled trumpets blaze in warning
clothed only in night and moonlight
where yawning savannah begins
forests edge sloping mountain heights
we felt Africa on our sweated skins
And spirit prayers for ancient time, anew
when Africa’s tears were morning dew.
In a list
A contest entry
- It's Been a Year Since the Bug's Been Here!! (A PARTY only by Invitation) by ten thousand cicadas.
1800 points, ended April 15, 15 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
-
I just came back to read it again and noticed the very impressive conveyance of tone and timber. It is a favorite of mine. ~ Joyce
-
Great flow, rhythm and rhyme in these lines. Vivid visual images shown in these words. HM nice to wi n too.
-
Very meaningful and lovely. Your structure is terrific. Love the rhyme and flow. The ending is my favorite part. It is perfect. ~ Joyce
-
Your images are so very powerful and moving. And the rhyme was exquisite. It was not until my third read through this piece that I even noticed that it rhymed, which speaks either to its natural, unassuming perfection, or to my poor reading--and my pride will not allow for the latter! So many kudos for your skill.
You weave such a somber story here with such fantastic visual and emotional appeal, yet we part with a hope for the real possibility of finding something that was lost.
Exceptional!
Thanks for bringing this to the party.
-
It's wonderful, so deep and meaningful, wonderfully done.
-
I see the elephant carcass laying there...mostly unused except for maybe the feet and the tusks...rotting under hot African sun. Such a beautiful land; so diverse and filled with beauty. It's a shame that hunger and pain ravages her. Too bad tears can't fix the problem, it would be turned around by now
-
deep!
very deep poem! one needs to read deeper to get a true sense of the meaning. lovely words too! "And spirit prayers for ancient time, anew
when Africa’s tears were morning dew." -
love it!!! u have a great sense of vocabulary using (whatever tht means!!!) lol keep up the good work and good luk in the contest!!!! xx
-
oh wow this is beautiful. i am amazed. your rhyming is perfect and your words are captivating. i love this so much, good work! keep writing
-
These are the right words in the right order; I was moved by the combination of image and thought. There is so much human pain there, and relief efforts are never sufficient to meet the needs. Do you mean "spirit prayers" or prays? Either way, amen.
-
The history of Africa, our cradle of civilization, is filled with tragedies both natural and man-made. The landscape may be forbidding, but the inhumanity of man is a destroyer of souls. As is your way, you have captured this feeling with pathos and gentleness. "we felt Africa on our sweated skins" as you have helped us to feel Africa with our eyes. Peace, Liz
-
Very vivid imagery you have penned, draws one into your words, WELL DONE
-
This is well done. I normally don't care for rhyme but this piece contained good imagery and the last line was just amazing. Well written poet.
-
Excellent images, sad and dramatic and unfortunately, so true. I like it how you ended your poem, showing that despite all, beauty is still there.
You made the verses flow in such a pleasant way with the use of rhymes.
Very well done!
-
I can see the scene playing out as I read this. Never been to Africa, but you took me there. Good write, and thanks for commenting mine.
Becky
-
I have never been to Africa but you gave me one beauriful picture to savor in my mind..The Motherland of so many and she weeps now...Wow! wish her tears were still morning dew...
Novy
-
Well, this is simply magnificent, Poet. Good luck in the contest.
Wanda
-
You give me the place I dream of still, the joy and the sadness. I saw it with you in words. Love, Chez
-
I could imagine this; such a vivid and haunting picture of a place I've never been, and a time, I could only imagine, well...till now. Thank you.
Adding your comment:
1 - 19 of 19
