Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Beyond Your Wildest Dreams

There was once a time
We walked together in one line

I saw clouds reflected in your eyes
Now I wonder where you've gone
And if you still think about me
There was once a time beyond your wildest dreams

We were once so new
Our bodies felt it too
We'd greet each breaking day
Entwined between the sheets we'd lay
I wonder if you knew
And maybe can still remember
There was once a time beyond  your wildest dreams

And the music we used to share
With words so sweet and filled with sorrow
I hear them in my mind
Soon the tears just simply follow
There was once a time

We'd lay beneath the stars
And once owned the night
Our love could change the world
We believed the future was so bright
I still wonder if you knew
Maybe back then you weren't too sure
There was once a time beyond your wildest dreams

And the music that we played
With words so sweet and filled with sorrow

And the music that we played
With words so sweet and filled with sorrow
I hear them in my mind
Soon the tears just simply follow
There was once a time

There was once a time
We walked together in one line

I saw clouds reflected in your eyes...

Beyond your wildest dreams - beyond your wildest dreams
      Beyond your wildest dreams

Author notes

#5

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 14 of 14

  • savemysoul
    November 4

    Edit | Reply
    i liked this. i'm guessing this is a song, not sure though. it was good. i liked it. thanks for entering and good luck.

    -- jordan.

  • piccola silver member
    March 8
    Edit | Reply
    beautiful work thank you for entering my contest.


  • LoveNeverDies.
    March 4
    Edit | Reply
    This is a nice write,

    Thankyou for entering LoveNeverDies,

    Goodluck

    (:


  • XxemohatexX
    March 1

    Edit | Reply
    this is good and i liek the repition of beond your wildest dreams thats a good idea good write keep it up


  • hotchocolate gold member
    February 2

    Edit | Reply
    A wonderful write here that I had the pleasure reading! Thank you for your entry and good luck

  • Nicole Hanna
    January 11
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for entering, but it's not what I'm looking for at this time.


  • Stevie.me
    December 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    4.3 out of 5

    I judged your poem of 5 criteria with 1 to 5 points for each.

    Use of the 5 senses- 4 you only for got smell

    Metaphors- 3.5 I didn't find many but the few i found were ok

    Feeling-4.5 this poem is beautiful and has much feeling

    Unity-5 perfect unity

    Flow- 4.5 a couple hiccups but still very good

    Average rating 4.3

    I wasn't sure how this poem was related to the contest , maybe i just didn't understand please message me and help me understand as i want to be fair.


  • gigglesalot
    December 12, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    beautiful write! good luck in my contest


  • ASmileForYou
    December 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I love how you end up repeating things over after the midway point. "I saw clouds reflected in your eyes". It makes it so final and heartbreaking.
    A good write! Thanks for entering!


  • fake-or-real-smile
    October 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    *has tears in her eyes*

    I'm just not sure what to say.....so sweet and it soooo sucks when something like that goes wrong

    I just adore the way you have repeated the line "beyond your wildest dreams" throughout the poem.

    Well done on such a good write, thank you entering and good luck in my contest.

    Rebecca

    X


  • Baisi
    September 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This... It was so... so... I don't even know the word. It has magnificent imagery... And so much thought, and feeling. So much pain. I absolutely LOVED this.


  • sapphireangelwings
    September 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Ah yes, this flowed so bitter sweetly. Repetition is hard to pull off successfully but I think you did it well here. Very heart string, tugging piece.

  • piccola silver member
    June 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this is so sad and romantic. I like the repetition of "there was a time" nice job and thank you for entering


  • only1love4ever
    March 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Only1love4ever-Reply

    Ahhh that is cool. i like how you made it happy, sad, happy, sad, happy. That gives it a creative touch rather than just droning on and on in the same voice. You have great talent. Thank you very much for sharign this peice with me. Good luck to you my friend. :]

1 - 14 of 14