Believe it or not, It seems every
Painful step brings more
[Relief.]
I don’t know what’s wrong with me.
Something in crawling along my skin,
Blatantly proving how much it [hurts.]
I feel sick, like I’m ready to
Purge
The twirling thoughts from
My stomach.
There’s a lump of [nothing]
In my throat,
I can’t speak. I can’t
Cry.
It hurts but I can’t fix it.
I’m ready to
Throw knives at the wall,
Aiming at [you.]
I don’t know if its
Really your fault.
[But can we pretend?]
I need something [wrong]
To hold on to, to remind me that
It isn’t me.
Why is everything turning black & white again?
I thought I was getting better,
[The cutting was over, Anxiety was
A piece of the past.]
Looking back over my shoulder, I see
Pain, a world of only black,
Where the full moon is my only light.
But peering ahead, I don’t know.
There is no light at the end of the tunnel.
And I miss the times where I actually thought
Maybe it was real.
Nothing is real.
I want that sense back.
It gave me something to look forward to,
[Every day could have been
Brand new;]
And now everything is all the same.
Has anything changed since last time?
The cold air still feels like
Swallowing
Pain killers; people taunting me
Still gives me a reason to
[Cry.]
Shivering seems to be occurring
More often now, I’m self diagnosed with
-Pain.-
(Atleast it makes me feel like I
Know myself a little better.)
Author notes
Well. I know it states how unreal it is....... but it makes me feel alive... I dunno, maybe its only me who understands what I'm trying to say.
[fuck.]
A contest entry
- Breathless.with.Intensity [Feeling Alive] by ultimate beluga.
500 points, ended April 5, 2008, 17 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Beauty In Pain! by bangbaby.
300 points, ended June 18, 2008, 91 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
[Insanity.]
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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A-freekin-mazing
I love this. It's probably one of the best I've ever read.
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if it is or is not only you who can understand what you are wanting to say. this poem still has so much in it! great work dear! thanks a lot for adding it to the contest!
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wow!
This is just so amazing. I understand it completely. Its just...simply an amazing write. You are a fantastic writer
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very nice sarah!
well just saying that i miss you.
if you read this pm me please
<3
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wow is all i can say you are a wonderful poet
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oh and actually about your writing: very relevant to the contest, very well-written, im glad i finally got a dirty pretty entry, interesting imagery and nice flow. a little cliched sometimes but very real too, and from the heart. so yea, good stuff!
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wow. wow wow! no i... scarily completely understand. the parts about: pain, a world of only black seemed a little cliched, but the rest was so real. this is amazing, maybe cos it really speaks to me. thanks heaps for enetring!
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