She summons lightning to do her bidding ~
infusion into intricately ornate black wings;
imbibing electrical impulses a vain attempt at
quenching the foul thirst of her darkened heart...
though it used to be red
like a sublime rose,
it is now a beautiful pitch-black blossom
which palpitates in vile sinister rhythms,
grotesquely pinned like a broach outside her chest
it attracts every pollenating malignancy
to its tainted bloom, rooted in lightlessness;
in her passionate frenzy a madness swells
and she demands a crimson candle to turn black,
imagining it quite simple to make wax
become pitch as a moonless night,
since her beating flesh was so easily defiled;
robbed of innocent carmine beauty
by infernal flames of chaotic fate
charred by burning lies of love
scorched from corrupt promises
branded black by betrayals,
in ebony shadows forever lost
her heart so soiled resides,
a dirty shade of its former self
it longs to be a simple blood-red,
and to melt back into her chest.
Author notes
Prompt picture from contest:
Show Me Your Beautiful Dark Side
http://allpoetry.com/contest/2397236
... please refer to the above link to view the photo. This poem makes a whole lot more sense when the picture is seen, to reference the poem.
In a list
A contest entry
- Show Me Your Beautiful Dark Side. by Poetryintheblood.
450 points, ended March 30, 2008, 8 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Wow ~ you def have a way with words and when you weave your tale it's mezmerizing ~ congrats on the gold it was well deserved
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Brought on the beauty of the image in your words, really beautifully and depictions in your words are just phenomenal, wonderful piece of work here. Bravo!!
Rena~
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This perfectly described that picture, and then some. You have amazing talent and a wonderful way with words. Great decriptions, really made me see what was happening in the poem. Wonderful job!
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this is an awesome peice of work very desriptive, has great flow, the words create pictures in my mind
Superb Work!
. Rewarded 4
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wow... this is a beautiful piece... even without the picture you can see the scene unfolding in your mind... this would be the perfect poem to base a story around...verry discriptive, I love how well this whole poem flows, Great Job!!! hope you do well in the contest!
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wow, this is a nice piece. i like the your use of words. of the stanza's i like most the following:
robbed of innocent carmine beauty
by infernal flames of chaotic fate
charred by burning lies of love
scorched from corrupt promises
branded black by betrayals...
thanks for sharing and good luck to the contest.
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Her Black Wings...
This is truly an incredibly penned interpretation on the image prompt. A delicate darkness, expressed with beauty beyond what can even be found. Deeply intriguing write, with a great sense of imagery throughout. You weave an amazing tale of love conquering the fall. Excellent write!!!!
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Thank you so much. Inspiration comes to me through the strangest images, which I twist to suit a beautiful darkness. Indeed, love conquering the fall !!!!
until exhale,
Grimoire
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Thank you for your beautiful entry, good luck, Josie
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Wow that is beautiful dark indeed!!! Had a dark sensuality about it! Beautiful wording and imagery!
Just my kind of write!
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I saw the image before I clicked it from your author's notes. The painting became very visual from reading your words. Yes...this is dark, it is beautifully dark though. You made her alluring, in a sinister sort of way. I think this side of your subject could be any woman, given that mood, the one that changes and snaps in an instant. LOL I've been to that side one or twice myself.
Excellent work poet. I wish you well in the challenge.
Much Love & Respect ♥
Renee
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Woooweeee this is more like it! It's powerful and compelling. I love the imagery and I love the line about demanding a crimson candle to turn to black. It echoes my belief that our thoughts are powerful enough to cause a difference in certain things by willing it. I refer to the spiritual realm. Glad you sent this because I felt a bit bad about my comment on the last one. Now go and read a few of mine! lol
Peace Georgia
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What a beautiful ending – in tune with the poem, indeed beautifully dark. The metaphor worked in brilliantly with the dark versus light kind of twist within. Although starkened meaning – the present flow still has a lamenting feel surrounding it.
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Deeply emotive and dark, but captivating the whole time, rather cinematic in the telling. well done and best of luck in the contest.
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it oozes opaque maudalin intangibles, warping oval teen dimentia sprouts for shedding colonies. on the other side, civility is eaten and chewed and spat upon...
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Transcopic ionic comment!! Fierce inward dissection tamed baby three toe sloths. On the pinch between cheek and gum that is the precursor to spitting on civility... moral subjugatation to imperiled breeds of octaroons and other civil 8th generation morons....
Your comments are always finding the duplicity and definition of my poems...
until Walla Walla Gualala makes sense
Grimoire
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bravo
A dark and somber piece of poetry, nicely and deftly crafted throughout! I enjoyed it a great deal! bravo... bravo... bravo...
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I am so pleased you led me to this, wow...where to start...firstly brilliant images of blacks and dark crimson red haunt this page...a wonderful mixture of words and images mixed with emotion. Great take on the picture...I wish I had written on this piece...send a link anytime...
Good Luck...
Simon
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The only thing I really don't get is the first two lines other than that this is really good. Good luck with it in the contest.
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the metaphor is not very clearly defined... Just that divinity, and prayers being answered are usually something which arrives from the heavens above (or the sky), the lightning is just another representation of this. Her "black" wings are a contrast/comparison to those of an angel, the infusion of the lightning is just a metaphor of the twisted creation that stems from trying to combine anything divine with anything earthly.
until immolation,
Grimoire
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This produced many images in my mind. I got from it a woman wanting to replace her present emptiness with the the emptiness of pain. If that makes any sense..
The verses were flowing enough and it held my interest.
I was delighted to see the actual imagine and see that it in fact went well with it.
Of course I find myself rewriting it in my head. But that seems to be the case with everything I read nowadays. lol
Be Well
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they say some people wear their heart on their sleeve... well, this woman is wearing it on her bosom. Symbolic of the comedy and tragedy of life/death , and the darkness within the light of love.
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ahhhhh
Thanks
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This totally rocks!!!! the descriptions are alluring and frightening at the same time. This is an incredible phychological study, in my opinion. My favorite part was:
in her passionate frenzy a madness swells
and she demands a crimson candle to turn black,
imagining it quite simple to make wax
become pitch as a moonless night,
since her beating flesh was so easily defiled;
Excellent piece!
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I love this! I think your wording and images are great! I would only change a few things to make it read a little smoother.....other than that, it's a fantastic write!....and goes well with that picture!
best wishes in your contest.
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Powerful
Looks like you really did a great of creating some amazing images with your words. So very well done. Best of luck in the contest.
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Liked your interpretation of the picture prompt for this contest. Great alliteration throughout these lines; very dark and deep the sentiments expressed so well here. Wonderful flow and dark images these words create - beautiful and dark - just what the host wanted.
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Talk about sweet beauty... although dark, this piece is drenched in it. This is absolutely breathtaking. Your words flow down the page in a river of loving admiration that is undeniable. Exquisite writing! Thank you for sharing your words with me and best wishes to you in the contest. Keep that quill dipped in ink and ever ready for use dear poet.
♥ Touchof1der
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Oh My!!
Powerful images to stain the Mind
Wonderful weaving of words and take on the prompt~~
These words grab~~
in her passionate frenzy a madness swells
and she demands a red candle to turn black,
imagining it quite simple to make wax
become pitch as a moonless night,
since her beating flesh was so easily defiled;
Oy~
Keep that quill dancing...
Thank You for sharing Your Talent and Spirit~
Many blessings to You in the contest Sweet Soul
Best wishes too
and much love~ Desire~*~
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Excellent Poem
Good job on this piece of work,i felt it was about a witch doing magic,and that she was doing spells.Great job from the poet!Lisa K haslett Raytown Missouri!
. Rewarded 4
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