My smile becomes a frozen mask.
I keep it on for every task
From first streak of light,
Till deep dark of night.
Then I can let my true self flash.
The neighbors think "Nice, quiet child,
Always smiling, and never wild".
They'd be shocked to see
The true face of me,
Draw back then, repulsed and reviled.
Those few hours of blackest night dark
Let my spirit feed its' cold spark.
I cause frighened dreams
Of terrors and screams,
To loop back in remorseless arcs.
You'll blame it on something you ate
Or the movie you watched 'till late.
While my quiet smile
hides poisonous wiles,
To rip your dreams with fear and hate.
You'll go back to sleep after waking.
Your body in chills, wracked and shaking.
You might hear a laugh
Or feel a small draft
As I leave, your peace of mind taking.
A contest entry
- "Do you see their smiles, teeth razor sharp?" by Werewolf Avarus.
600 points, ended April 9, 2008, 15 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What's behind YOUR smile??
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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Oh my goodness what a write
Its something I do and have done since I wa a little girl was to read peoples eyes and how often their face doesnt oftn tell the truth and as they see me looking its as if they knwow I know their evil secrets . Spooky at times for you can almost see their face change slowely to the darker side as if a warning is displayed then they return to their smile with lies on trade . -
Oh my
Spooky indeed this read is and yes you have penned this very well -
a good poem penned, ah smiles, like the maskes we all wear are forver stuck to our faces, we can alter them a little but can not take them off for fear of being seen in the true light.
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Outstanding
This is an eerie poem full of dark foreboding. I would not like to meet this person! I was drawn to the rhyme scheme which worked really well and wasn't forced at all. I like dark poetry and this was scary without going over the top. A fine poem. Congratulations on the trophy.
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Oh my goodness
This is very sad and a true nightmare indeed . I had horriblke nightmares in certain homes I lived in when we were renting .But when we got into a new house they all were gone . Its amazing how a house can affect you from those past
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Quite a scare you can give someone in these lines - liked the flow, rhythm and rhyme you used in these lines. Congrats on the HM for this write. Thanks for commenting on my poem earlier on too. Hope you have a great day!
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Wonderful Write
You had some amazing imagery in your poem. I liked the rhyme too. I am partial as I love to rhyme. Great take on the prompt. You take care.
Bless You,
Sandy
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a brilliant personification of the 'nightmare' what a novel idea!
You'll blame it on something you ate
Or the movie you watched 'till late.
great bit of dark humour in there too. well done!
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I totally disagree with the last comment.I DO!!! like rhymne and you did this very well, whilst telling the story of our deepest nightmares.Dark and interesting.I have many dreams during the night and they are often not pleasant, So I can relate to this poem.We keep all those bad feelings to ourselves until we sleep, when we let the truth have free reign.Well done, Ros
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returning a long owed favor.
-i dislike rhyme most of the time [haha, and that rhymed. what irony, huh?] thus, i was biased when reading this.
-grammatical errors.
-awkward word placements.
i think it needs more work. -
This made me SMILE
I like this sort of writing, terrific rhyme and flow, and holds the interest well. Very good mix of the obvious and the mystic. A very good description of hidden emotional stress, especially in the second stanza.. Why will we never learn to be ourselves and let others accept us just the way we are?
Good luck in the contest.
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Thank you for the entry.
It was a wonderful read, and the rhyming flowed really well. Though I have noticed that you have not put in your authors box, what I had asked for. So if you may, can you please go back and read the rules.
Other then that a magnificant read, and very vivid image.
Thanks agian for entering and I wish you luck.
'Wolf
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