with genitive eyes on windswept dunes
she lies virgin
like ocean washed sand
pale as mid-summer’s moon
to each contour of supple moist skin
palms with leafy fingers swoon
the lotus blossom-
bloomed
enticed by a fragrance in rise with a mist
through hidden folds, she exhales desire
to supple silk waves of untouched sand
imprints of two lovers
...matted
breath to breath-
our lips become music
Author notes
I wish I could write a metaphor
“Grammy Awards for HM”
Options;
* In the arms of someone
A contest entry
- Skin by Mari Goes.
700 points, ended April 9, 2008, 18 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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So many good imageries here...
'pale as mid summer moon' - simply lovely!
I like the way how you 'felt' skin
Thank you!
Mari
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This is excellent...I have nothing else to say, I am speechless, this is stunning & leaves me breathless, I LOVE it...thanks SO much for entering this beautiful poem.
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Well, Mally.. I see the metaphor of ocean, sand and waves here - almost a nautical type of metaphor - so actually you've applied it very well here!!
There is a lovely sense of undulation and softness about this poem...like the waves, like the sand, and it has a genuine touch of romance and subtle sensuality about it. I liked this!!
Thank you for this entry.
~ Nicolette
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the last two lines really make this
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Your romantic touch seems to linger on everything you write. Very beautifully done. I wish you the best of luck in the contest.
Kelli
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The passion is there, the feel, the desire, but it does seem to wander a little, though you seem to get control in the second portion and the end is memorable, it gives as good picture of the moment.
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Wow, I really wish I had the skills to write someone half as breathe taking.
Very beautiful.
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well whatever it is, it certainly is lovely I wonder what inspires you, tell me do, how does one write half as lovely as you?
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