No sooner had the smoke cleared
and the echoes faded away,
it was just as Richard feared:
the dreaded Judgment Day.
His worldly ways were naught
as stood before the light
God could not be bought.
He would judge on what was right.
He reviewed the record.
Saw all that Richard was.
How he was once adored,
the center of applause.
He spoke kindly, had no strife,
and he was never one to hoard.
So why did he end his life?
The answer: He was bored.
God weighted penalty and reward
when considering where he’d dwell.
But he didn’t want Richard to be bored
so He sent him straight to hell.
Now the poor may go in sorrow
and even curse their bread
But they still have tomorrow…
Richard doesn’t now - he’s dead.
Author notes
Okay Yemassee… It was all the challenge you promised… Had I time, I would have stretched it to iambic but I did capture the rhyme scheme. And yes, I do like his poetry so thank you for that!
Prompt: “Richard Corey” by Edwin Arlington Robinson
A contest entry
- Richard Cory by Yemassee.
1700 points, ended March 26, 2008, 9 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Critical Comments Always Welcome
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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good use of soft ryhmes... was and applause.
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oy. I'm not sure if this is awful or brilliant, but a more fun take than anyone else managed.
Do you mind if I mention that the meter seemed a touch rough in just a couple places? The 3 beat lines worked really well, and the mix of 3 beat meters kept it natural. The 4 beat "and he was never one to hoard" subsequently stuck out a little whereas "and was never one to hoard" would have held the pattern for me. "God weighted penalty and reward" was tough to scan, whereas "God weighted reward and penalty" would have resolved into iambic tetrameter.
These are minor issues, and all that's preference anyway. Nicely done.
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Your critique was right on the money! I ran across this contest at 11:30 last night and had to rush to get it in before it closed... Just wanted to throw a post-death thought into the pot.
Thanks for a thoughtful and meaningful comment... don't get too many of those (LOL).
Ken
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Worth clicking on - thank you
I clicked on "return the favour" (a thing I often neglect) and found something worth backtracking through several other links. Excellent stuff. Take the time and revise it and I don't know what you'll come up with, because I'm giving this three curtain calls.
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Thank you for taking up the challenge. It was a good read with definitely a different perspective from the rest.
And of course you looked at the suicide issue, not from why, but the consequences for his spirit and the belief that those who die by their own hand won't get into heaven. Poor Richard Cory, bored of life, I dare say he won't have time to be bored in Hell, lol.
Very true, death is final, we have tomorrow, the Richard Corys do not.
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Thanks for the recognition. It's sometime tough to find a new take and I hope I did you proud...
Ken
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