The Sacred canyon
where the lilies grow,
and the stream flows,
the great rift,
the chasm.
What if it should explode
the sweet caress
become a blue flame
that sears our skin,
the handles of the hidden fears
broken,
this rage of gentle love
exposed?
It would raise mountains,
peaks that graze the tainted sky.
It would raise storms
winds that twist the painted sky.
It would shout words
sounds that calm the haunted sky.
from the Pole Star,
to the Southern Cross,
from the Transvaal,
to the Appalachians
the wind would carry our sighs.
In this then, the soul does swear:
The weavers have cast their net,
I know
the sun sinks low
glows
over the jetties
on these distant shores
where the people toil
unceasing,
Despite our denials
at the rising tides
of desires.
Author notes
Written December 6th, 2003
In a list
What did you think
Comments
1 - 29 of 29
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Thank you for pointing me in the direction of this.
The imagery here is gorgeous. The metaphor is strong, easily related to and well thought out. I liked the form and the flow, all are just wonderful. Still not exactly what I was looking for, but I'm not sorry I had the opportunity to read it.
TY again and best wishes,
~J.
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This poem is brim full with passion.It carries the reader on a wave of your desire.Wonderfully done.Well done and thankyou for sharing, Ros
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this is sweet. I like the flow and images you have created in this write.
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lovely
This is the first poem of yours I have read so beautiful and so wonderfully written. -
loved it
The poems flows and the word use is great, good imagination and great expression! -
I hope that maybe you write more poems. You should. Your flow is really good. You must practic hard at what you do. That exploding stanza is excellent. Actually I just read it again, yeah what those girls said up there -- about knees and wobbling.
You know what, people are using Nopey around here. I saw it. I think you should be made aware of this should you choose to copyright it. I don't know if there is any money in this type thing -- then it'd be Nopey(c) Just keeping you abreast of siteeation.
Also, well, you know.
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Lovely
This is lovely. The phrases and images are breathtaking. The form you choose lends to the ideas so well. Very nice write. Happy, health and peace. Blessings! Tammy -
Wow, very beautiful. The imagery here is amazing. Your word choice, line breaks...everything is great. It's hard to find good poetry on AP. But I just found one of the very few good poems here. Great job.
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evry good
a wonderfull read my friend thank you for sharing this with us and keep up the good work
a lovely read .
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This is an amazing metaphor, the images of the most powerful things in nature all together, hidden and obvious, I love the intense verbage
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Like the ocean waves, the emotions flow back and forth beautifully in your poem. I liked the line, "The weavers have cast their net."
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I liked this poem a lot. I like what you did to make it flow smoothly.
The only suggestion I have is that I am not sure what is the percise point in the poem. ITs good to be subtle and I encourage it but also allow the audience to know what your saying and make the message clear as possible to the read. Nevertheless, it was a great poem and my suggestions are meant to be taken lightly. I believe there is no such thing as a perfect paper. Thanks for sharing- Keep up the writing. M.T.B. -
Awesome write.....I love it a lot i shall look at the rest of your stuff and comment on thoughs to when i get the time i really did love it though your a great writer......really im not just saying that.....-sighs and thinks to self i wish i could write like that.....lol im cold .....really o and i like the back ground to.....-shigs again I really wish I could writ like that i suck-Wow im enprest.....heh.....gah it feels like a frezer in here......here really.....o and im sorry if i cant spell right now because like i said im cold.......lol c ya
-Kelsea -
Very expressive, beautifully written and an enjoyable read.
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so someone is promoting lute while he is away? maybe he is here but undercover. sigh. yes this is particularly lovely. i've been reading may swenson .. she is killing me with her nature - love- erotica. it's wonderfully delicious...as is this .. i like the searing stanza .. exploding blue flame handles of hidden fears .. yum it's all good. i always feel like i'm spying when i come here and your not .. from the rocks in the yard looking over the fence or something ..
cvillelisa was here. 5/5/04 happy cinco de mayo ..
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The mythical lilt and sway of this is unusual and delightful to read. There is something about "lilies" and "rifts" and "chasms" that sends a call through the human mind. The repetition of "sky" with "tainted, painted, haunted" deeply affects this reader, too, but the voice of the author high above and looking down on ( the long perspective) is the clincher. Fine work, Tina.
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""The Sacred canyon
where the lilies grow,
and the stream flows,
the great rift,
the chasm""
This exerpt from the poem really makes me see the canyon. You have an extrodinary talent for literature!!!
~~Jessie~~ -
Very nice imagery in this poem. Well done. I especially liked the second stanza, but the entire piece works well.
Scott -
truly talented
very vivid and well written.I like the comparisons made here and think your talent is amazing.Keep up the great writing -
Oh, so heartfelt even though it's all about the naughty....yea, you DOM!!!
Where the lilies grow...delicate flowers that...sweet and fragrant. Would never have entered my mind to use that flower, but it's appropriate.
You and your wonderful words.
---- for enticing words
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oh yes..I like this one
beautifully crafted.....hugs...leanne xxx
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OMG, there is so much emotion in this one. I can really relate to the denials at the rising tides of passion... sigh...
Loved it. Your images and repetition really drive the emotion home. -
Fine damn fine.
Beautifully crafted.
'Nuf said.
Jules. -
"peaks that graze the tainted sky.
It would raise storms
winds that twist the painted sky.
It would shout words
sounds that calm the haunted sky"
~tummy squiggles~
dat was a good one!
Something white hot simmering beneath the images of nature, like sublime pictures between the frames. Agree, this poem would fold knees faster then five dollar notes.
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Quivering words
Tainted ... painted ... haunted ... sky ... sighs ... rising tides ... desires ...
Somewhere an arrow leaves its bow ... somewhere its target anticipates its blow ...
Piercing write.
Myra -
Once in a while I read a piece that makes me weak in the knees.
This is one of them. Love the last little stanza, which for me, completed this wonderful write.
Desiree
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Oh Lute~ You make such beautiful music with your love~Awesome imagery and puts a smile on the face~ Keep on writing and exciting~ Writing of love and rising tides~
~ Look forward to more~ Big hugs 
and much love~Desire
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Lute you simply tug at the heart strings, this is beautiful. Take care, Lissa
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good
I liked the vivid imagery ! Thanks enjoyed reading it
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