Revealing the mystery, you are that vessel,
all things beautiful... songs remembered
each dip into your melted rainbow, brings
color, as I lament in ripples of your well
catapulting archives of forever, wallpaper
images of you on docile walls caging my fever
scents linger, clutching tips of my finger,
begging for audience of your tongue
gasp and sighs ring chimes of wind,
as if musical notes thriving mid season
lifting longing lid away from eden,
streams swell, filled with dew
how can this beast of a man deserve joy,
from emotions beauty whispering so softly
how can I ever be... more than beast
Author notes
Prompt: Skin
A contest entry
- Skin by Mari Goes.
700 points, ended April 9, 2008, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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wow well done my dear such empowerment in your message and yet filled with subtle passion and desire. many loving blessings always xxx
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I have read this poem several times, and each time when I was ready to comment something else came up. It did give me chance to read again and again those sensual lines though. I think that there are times when not men but women as well, feel that way, possessed by a primal desire. The result might be a very good and hot sex
Although you talk about beast, your poem has lovely and soft thoughts.
I truly enjoyed it!
Mari
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This is very sensual...raw & wild, too!
"scents linger, clutching tips of my finger,
begging for audience of your tongue...I love these lines, and enjoyed the imagery, as well...thanks so much for entering.
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A very nice ode that you've written here - the last line made me smile for many different reasons! Actually the last line wraps this poem up very well and add another dimension to it.
I enjoyed this poem with its many visuals, passion and rich language. Thank you for this entry.
~ Nicolette
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This is a very pretty poem. I read it before when you sent me a link but I didn't have time to sit still and say something thing. Actually, I'm a work now and shouldn't be doing it! ha ha Anyways, I thought it was pretty and dramatic. It had a lot of intense feelings running through this. What I didn't understand was the last lines about you being a beast. It didn't make sense to me because the things in the first part speak of a passionate man but that doesn't really have anything to do with being a beast. So that part threw me. The rest was good though.
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It's a very good reaction to subtle beauty...that desire to have more and at an escalated level. The end is earthy, honest, desiring...not sure about women (or men I suppose) but it's that way with me, both soft desires and deep passions come from the same well.
Love/romance/passion is interesting...we drop all logic and delve into pathetic fallacies and hyperboles and other impossibilities for they are the only thing that can accurately convey such deep desires and needs.
Someday I'll try to write a Romance using direct, realistic language, but I bet it'll be an utter flop, for love doesn't understand or desire what it logically should.
Sorry for the ramble, but the intrigue of your poem got me wandering the bare caverns of my cobwebbed mind.
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