So smirk at me,
At how much stronger,
At my blatant fragility
Which your transparent conscience deems fit to crush.
Let the layer of your superiority
Push my remnants further into the unforgiving pavement
And ride past me
On the wavelengths of your false companionship
In which the social structure of intolerable cruelty
Paves the only way.
Smack me as hard as your ego can muster
So that my inner bleeding
Can finally warrant friendship in something
When all else has crumbled into oblivion.
Kick me brutally, shamelessly,
Like your spoken viscosity does-
I want to feel the burn
Of the bond you fractured fatally
As intentional as the ridiculous promise
You filled my trusting head with.
And stab me
With your weapons which materialize
Primarily to plunge into my bitter heart
And destroy me
So that the last sardonic smile
Can chap my lips
Into the final coldness
I so desperately yearn for.
A contest entry
- Dark Poetry! by BeautifullyBroken42.
300 points, ended May 6, 2008, 36 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Honesty is always appreciated
Comments
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This was an interesting piece!You made me see what you were trying to say...I love that!
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Oooohhh...this is really powerful. Full of angst and yearning for closure. Nice flow of thought with a strong ending. Great use of imagery. A few spelling mistakes... I think you intended "conscious" to be "conscience" in line four? Makes more sense anyways. Blantant in line three should be blatant. Remanents should be remnants. Cruelity should be cruelty.
PS enjoyed the use of the word "viscosity"
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Whoops, thanks.
I guess I forgot to run this one through the spell check
Glad you enjoyed it though.
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I really like this. It shows a strange sort of strength. I love the images you conjure (you're very good at that) and overall it's just a thrillingly dark poem to read. Good luck in the contest
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