good morning
have you awakened from your 100 year sleep
or are you still six feet deep?
buried in threats of suicide
run and try to hide
good mourning,
they always say reap
what you sow,
but do you know how to grow
secrets
along for just the ride
you're victim of the pride
tell tell tell
you worship hell
a rose by any other name is just as sweet
cassandra is that name to me
and if any eyes disagree
listen to your heartbeat
morning
loud like church bells on Sunday's toll,
but coins are what the chapel extols
watch the sunset upon your eyes
and let the demons purify...
tell tell tell
you worship hell
you're buried in lies, they can't believe
cassandra, cassandra you're not insane
what do you hope to gain
from continuing to grieve
stunned by your beauty
yet, you drive me crazy
doomed by your own prophecy
tell tell tell
you worship hell
rape in the pulpit, Father's little girl
the flower child of Satan's game
virginity taken in God's holy name
when the Bible's pages start to curl...
cassandra...
cassandra...
doomed by her own prophecy...
~~~
Author notes
Prompt: lyrics and story
story ~ http://allpoetry.com/column/show/2341449
Somewhat based off of the story of the Greek prophetess, Cassandra. At one point, she was raped in Athena's temple by Ajax.
The title... Cassandra literally means "she who entangles men." Cassandra was an extremely beautiful girl, but she ranted her prophecies and was thought mad.
Instrumental info:
*guitar, drums, bass guitar, possibly voice synthesizer. Piano plays the whole time, but softly.*
good morning
have you awakened from your 100 year sleep
or are you still six feet deep?
buried in threats of suicide
run and try to hide
*grow* good mourning,
they always say reap
*soft* what you sow,
but do you know how to grow
secrets
*grow* along for just the ride
you're victim of the pride
*big* tell tell tell
you worship hell
a rose by any other name is just as sweet
cassandra is that name to me
*lessen* and if any eyes disagree
listen to your heartbeat
*soft* morning
loud like church bells on Sunday's toll,
but coins are what the chapel extols
*grow* watch the sunset upon your eyes
and let the demons purify...
*big* tell tell tell
you worship hell
you're buried in lies, they can't believe
cassandra, cassandra you're not insane
what do you hope to gain
from continuing to grieve
stunned by your beauty
yet, you drive me crazy
doomed by your own prophecy
*big guitar solo*
*big* tell tell tell
you worship hell
rape in the pulpit, Father's little girl
the flower child of Satan's game
virginity taken in God's holy name
when the Bible's pages start to curl...
*soft* cassandra...
cassandra...
dommed by her own prophecy... *fade away*
A contest entry
- Teen Idol 7: Round 9 (Top 6) by Tangled Angle.
300 points, ended April 3, 2008, 6 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Ultimate Goal by N e a r.
20000 points, ended June 2, 2008, 946 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
...
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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amazing
This is the best I have read in a while
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Different and used well - the actual content to me didn't seem as lyrical as I would have first thought. The poem itself seems more through soft melody through out the whole piece as no words through out seem sudden or intense for the method of anything other than an acoustic guitar. But apart from that - the piece on whole has a few places where the rhyme seemed forced and there for the verbal expression and not the actual piece.
I liked the excessive spacings - it moved the melody throughout to stop and embrace in parts.
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The line breaking threw me off a little in places, but with that pushed aside I thought this was awesome. Very cool, and different.
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Cassie, I was just showering after work and all of a sudden I started singing "good mourning, they always say reap what you sow, but do you know how to grow secrets, along for the ride, you're just a victim of the pride"
It took me like...five minutes to remember where I heard that song.
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Are you serious? That's crazy. I'm not even sure about the music for this yet!
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Beautiful
I could hear it and I even think I saw a voice-pattern in it. This was so incredibly outstanding that I could hear music put to it before I even looked at the directions in your Authors Notes. I've read this twice over now, it's fantastic!
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This is really good.
I'm scared.
The only part that really said "uh, no..." is the line "cassandra is that name to me." I mean, it fit with the song, I just lost the flow there.
Really well done!
PS--Ohh...I liked the glass bell lines!
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Mmmmm. I can defiantly hear it. Sounds kinda soft, alternative rockish ... just my taste The words are both touching, but through poetic device and through my emotional contectivity. It doesn't sound, it a sense, completely "lyrical" but that is do to its stregnth. Its probably reading it, because when I tried singing parts it sounded different...
I think this is up there with my favourites from you yet. I thought everything was really well done, and I especially thought this was strong due to the phrasing that was well incorporated and improved.
Wonderful piece... can really feel the feelings in the conrast both literally and metaphorically in worshiping hell and hearing "church bells ring".
This ones a ringin!!! Good luck!
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One of your FAVORITES??? I didn't think this one was that great.
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Hmm I think reap, could go at the start of the next line rather than end at the last one, because the rhyme still works and to me it flows better (plus people would be like...hey why is that so catchy, cos it's not immediately obvious) but then these are lyrics so I'm sure emphasis would be put on certain words when sung. Wow, the start of "Guerilla Radio"* came on as I was reading this and they went so well together lol.
I really like the "morning" verse.
"rape in the pulpit, Father's little girl" - ace (well...rape isn't ace but it's a great line!)
Yeah I think you did good on it
*I don't know if you know Rage Against Machine but I always feel they have such good intros and then they start "singing/rapping" and it's just like...eurgh.
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I've heard of Rage Against the Machine, but I was told I wouldn't like them.
I'm really glad you like it... I'll look at the spot you pointed out.
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They're like Rap Metal. I only have them cos of their kick-ass intros. Take care and Good luck!
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These parts seemed awkward to me:
"tell tell tell
you're touching hell"
"morning
as loud as glass bells as I wake
shake them too much and they break"
"tell tell tell
you're touching hell
lift your voice, admit to the rape
cassandra, tell your story again
keep faith and pick up that pen
only by your words is the escape..."
Perhaps take out "keep faith and pick up that pen"?
Other than that I like this, but I still think it needs tweaking.
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These are the parts that I think are the most awkward, too... But I'm not sure about getting rid of "tell tell tell you're touching hell". I'm working on tweaking the last stanza, don't worry, I hate it, too.
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Pretty cool. Lyrics are hard for me to read because its supposed to be set to music. You should record it! ^.^
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This may just be me but your suicide/hide and ride/pride rhymes didn't seem...long enough syllable wise to me...I don't know how to explain it though so...just ignore me!
Good mourning *chuckles*
I love the way you've written it so it looks free versy and doesn't look song-like but still reads that way.
tell tell tell - that stanza is awesome...well the last 4 lines
as loud as glass bells as I wake - too many as's? Just seems a mouthful.
To be honest I didn't like end as much as the rest...
Is dommed meant to be doomed? Or is that another pun?
I only picked out the parts I didn't like cos I thought this was really good (ironic, huh?) especially if you aren't much of a lyric writer I think you really pulled this off, so well done
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Thank you for all the advice!
Yeah, I know the end sucks... I'm definately going to work it around and see what I can do with it before the due date.
Yes, it's supposed to be doomed... I have issues with typos. >.<
Hmm, and you're definately right about the too many "as"'s. I'll have to change it.
Thank you again for this comment, it really helped a lot.
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No problem I can't wait to read it again!
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This is really good... I love these lyrics... They are amazing.. I love the descriptions and imagery through you lines... Every word seems to be perfect... I love your writing style... Its so great
The flow to this one is amazing....
Through and through... great job
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O.O Wooooooooo! Rock on!! I can almost hear the melody. I especially love the lines "stunned by your beauty
yet, you drive me crazy
doomed by your own prophecy"
Great job, you'll do great.
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