Of all the many things I wish each night,
Not one I wish for more than you, my dear.
Despite my lonely fear and fearful fright,
I only dream that someday you'll be near.
A dreadful creature into which you've turn'd;
You fear I'll leave because of wars you've fought,
But dearest one, I say you'll not be spurn'd
For in your sticky web of love I'm caught.
My fallen angel of the darken'd night,
Your wings are splendid as you soar on high.
My darkest demon, you are my sole light,
For on my own, I know that I would die.
Fear not, my heart, my soul, my dearest friend;
No matter what you are, love has no end.
Author notes
This sonnet was written in my English class; I had a lot of time on my hands, apparently. It was inspired by a novel idea I've had for months now but haven't begun writing--a fantasy novel. So if you're wondering what this strange piece could POSSIBLY be about, that's it. *grins sheepishly*
Edited.
A contest entry
- Love Poetry Please by FallingTwilight.
390 points, ended April 16, 2008, 40 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Rhyming Contest for Sonnets and Villanelles only. by ecrivain01.
450 points, ended July 15, 2008, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Does it flow well? Could you feel the emotion?
Comments
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Since I dislike most love poems ...
I'm rather surprised that this one seems to work as well as it does. The biggest problem is that there are so many inverted lines, which is one of my biggest dislikes in rhymed poetry.
This line is the real problem:
You're scare'd that I shall love you longer not, (scared, no apostrophe)
and the inversion seems remarkably egregious. The rest of this could pass, if not for that line.
In any case, thanks for entering and good luck with your future writing. -
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Thank you for the feedback! Eventually, the whole "good job, I liked it" kind of comment gets really old.
That particular line was very troublesome to write, as well. I think I might take out the whole line and change it.
Thank you again for the helpful comment.
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Great
This flows really well
I love it.
It is a good idea, perhaps post a link to youre novel if you ever put any of it on the internet? (or write it for that matter)
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Lol! If I ever do write it, I'll have to let you know!
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