There is a dead man in my closet
he is just behind the door;
staring at the wall
a heap of mass upon the floor.
The dead man in my closet,
he wasn't always there;
like my thumbprints on his neck
or the drag marks on the stairs.
I wonder if he was happy,
before I approached him from behind;
he breathed the air and I made sure
his last sight was sunshine.
But now, in darkness, he is decaying,
his skin has turned gray;
a vulgar stench emits from him
as his flesh falls away.
There is a skeleton in my closet now,
and he speaks to me sometimes;
But he says things in awful tones
not in pretty rhymes.
He asks me why I killed him,
for this I have no reply;
All I know is at the time,
I wanted him to die.
Was it planned or was it passion?
Still I cannot say.
Now, no matter what I do,
he will not go away.
When I go walking out,
I see his shadow overlapping mine;
And when I start running away,
he is only one step behind.
So listen to me friends,
think of your actions yet;
consider the consequences carefully,
for they may not let you forget.
It gives me fuzzy feelings.
Comments
1 - 24 of 24
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Delightful. Perhaps not as somber as others I've read so far, but certainly holds a sincerity that makes a mind pause and wonder. Excellent descriptions and quite the visual. Humorous in its thoughtful way, and very much a splendid piece.
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God........it took me forever to find a piece of yours that I have not commented on and I finally found this one. Awesome write. The ending is great and I like the title. Brilliant job, Brother. Best wishes to you. Thanks for your awesome comments on my piece. (I am very proud of it...lol.) Best wishes.
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my my my... this was twisted. And yet so completely direct and in many ways cynical. Excellent flow, good use of vocabulary and rhyme. I love the homicidal story that unfurled here. This was a masterpiece. -T
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Thank you very much. ^_^ I wrote this one so long ago, and I feel I've gotten better since this. Have you seen my others?
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no... i was tired and browsing through you work. i read the first one that caught my eye. but i will read some more of your work.... trying to build up points so i can host another contest- the one i'm holding now has dissapointed me thus far.
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AHHH! Holy sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet! This is eerie, scary, amazing, stunning, creepy as hell but AMAZING!!!!!!! The last two lines are great advice. I love this..it seems like something that Hitchcock would write. It's tragically humerous!
Warmest,
Mylee -
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Thanks so much. ^_^
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I love the satire in this...
This made me smile and giggle a little. Made me think of a horror comedy. Those kinds of movies are wonderful. I found this very entertaining to read.
You have quite an interesting few poems on this site, Sir.
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Thank you very much. ^_^
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oh dood
i have no points! i am from storywrite. i'll give you clappies later. -
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Thanks.
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hihihi
i have to admit.
this is my favorite poem.
i copied it and put it on a bulletin in myspace with 'check out this poem, some Pigwen dood made it.'
of course, no one ever reads my bulletins, for i have no real friends in myspace, but i hope someone else read it.
it is just so macabre and cool!
i've had that same thought, but in my bathroom.
there is a dead man in my bathroom.
(wouldn't rhyme that well, i guess
)
he eats all the clean toilet paper!!! he is odd. his name is Robert.
seriously, this is my favorite poem.
too bad i can't put more clappies, so i will restrict myself to only 3.
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Clean Toilet Paper has more Protein
Ha. Thanks for reading it, and even going so far as to post it on Myspace. I'm sorry no one read it there, but I at least take comfort in that you liked it.
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Well written and well said, liked the natural lilt and rhyme, enjoyed the philosophical ending, it gift wrapped the piece perfectly. Indeed 'tis with thoughtlessness that we add those skeletons to the closet, Bravo!
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Im sorry I did not respond sooner. I don't get notices sometimes that people have left comments. So, thank you for enjoying this one.
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Mr. Poe
Shades of Edgar Allen, man. The pace is great, especially in the earlier stanzas. Yeah, 'ol Gregor couldn't catch a break, huh. I've never felt so trapped as when I read "Metamorphosis." Thanks for your comment.
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Awesome
I like that you see my Poe influences, especially since he's my literary idol. I never read Metamorphosis myself; I've only heard summaries. I can't find a volume that has just the story and not fifteen critical essays on it. But thanks a lot for replying, man.
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Cool
The first thing I thought of was the theme of Alfred Hitchcock. Has a kind of Adamms Family vibe. It kept me reading.
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Thank you. I work hardest at making sure my work gives off the same vibe to my readers that I feel myself.
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You Need Help!
Wow... once again and as always its still pretty demented. Still, for some odd reason that I cannot yet explain, it is pretty damn kickass! I can see that you're feeling at least somewhat better. It actually rhymes. That's not your usual style. Nonetheless, it gave me chills and is a pretty kickass poem! Nice job babe! <3
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Demented is the only way I know!
Thanks, babe! Yeah, I thought this one would work better if it rhymed. It feels good to make something outside my usual style work. I'm glad you liked it. Thanks again! -
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You Know More Than You Let On
No problem! =] It worked out perfectly because it rhymed. It made it all flow together so much better. I also think it helped to expand your imagery a bit. You did well working outside of the box. Just wait until Mrs. Schmidt knows that you CAN! -
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You Better Believe It
Well, thank you. And she knows I can; she also knows I don't like to! -
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-Insert Shocked Face Here-
No problem babe. I know that she knows. I also know that she knows that you don't like to. Wow, are you confused yet? I am! lol I know, I know... it doesn't take much for me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wait 'til I tell her that it actually works out for you, no matter how scary it may be!
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