No matter how hard I try
To move these things for you
I will never be the good boy
You always thought you knew.
Yeah, the road was that nasty,
and the way was that course
but I never asked for your empathy
Nor your quick attempts at remorse.
I got my gun from a list
I got my gun with hard cash
I got a gun for my weak fist
And some monsters, I need to mash.
You were the one that loved me
When you forced me to open up
No little eel, you are a Morey
A bumble bee all butter cupped.
You said we were "forevers"
While you bled my wrist to bowl
What's with all these Heathers?
and my need to shovel coal?
I've got a gun for my head
I even have one for my tail
I got me a gun that folds in two
and some buried cash for bail.
You fucked me like I was the last,
but ironically, I guess I was
Have you ever seen a draw that fast?
I'm just not one for "because".
You should of learned to cook some
Before washing my feet at the door
How I hated when you popped your gum
As we made love on your floor.
I got me a gun for Fridays
I got one that's as true as you
And an extra bullet for that day
My gun decides, that it loves you too.
Author notes
Written December 6th, 2003
In a list
A contest entry
- Warped Tour 06 Celebration(Extended) by Alien Bob.
300 points, ended August 25, 2006, 7 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 27 of 27
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I can promise you something...
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great poem....its very good in deed, but i cant promise you anything.....
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excellent job
i really liked it i mean thats really how break ups make you feel when someone has played you through and through i hate but it true i honestly felt the emotion and the sinister kinda of tone ty for the wonderful read great job little chilling but i guess i don't have to tell you that kinda reminds me of Edgar Allen Poe nice job -
WOW!
Wow! -
I really liked this!!!!! I also agree with the others this has more of a rock feel to it. Well great job! Good luck and thanks for entering.
Chealsy -
wow, that was really cool, and so different. it made it really stand out in my mind. really nice flow. way cool poem. keep up the good work and good luck in the contest!
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Yeah, it's a rock song.
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I dont know that this fits a country style it has Shinedown or disturbed written all over it! I really enjoyed this piece! Keep up the Great writing!
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This shows a lot of talent. This was very good. It had so much emotion. Thanks so much for entering. Good luck.
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yeeeeeeeeeehaawwwwwww.
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yowza
Great write, this is one of the better poems in my opinion, there are many good lines in this, that add up, and its really easy to read, (the flow goes very well) I like the way you use the gun, over and over, its really thriling, GREAT write -
Indeed very creative and unique--I really enjoyed this.
Sorry but I'm in a hurry, otherwise I'd announce my love for this piece but for now, I'll say you're tallented and display true feeling in every word.
Great job!
-z- -
chilling
thankyou - you know I found this quite chilling - I guess I have a gun problem - I really liked your line "I've got a gun for my head" - discribes everyone.
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sweet... ok maybe not but i liked it. great write keep it up. EaRiNe!!!!
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brilliantly cynical
i love it when you get cynical..she popped her gum as you made love on the floor well that is plain bad manners and ignorance..she deserves to be shot..sometimes i think that theres a lot you are not telling us.... -
I don't know...was this an anti-gun poem or an anti-woman poem or an anti-poem poem...can't make up my mind.
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ah. to have a love like this....passionate, hot and deadly when up against it. lovely and most definitely soul searching.
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ok so why did u get handed me to help lol? with work like this u shud have someone with a wee bit more talent
/// but then.... with ur talent mayb i can have a wee buit more talent
good job
hugs
nikki -
I'm Empty
Sounds Western but very sweet... keep that upppp... Check out somemore of my stufff -
the rhyme is so good it is almost rap lol - unique piece of poetry - I disagree with Cherche - I think there is most definitely a place in poetry for your work - I enjoy the bold tone your work presents - I'll definitely have to read more of your stuff as I have time! ~ peace, b
p.s. I particularly liked the reference to "Heathers"
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Amusing read
Creative is a good description, I would add refreshing as well. very interesting read, I like it. -
LOL, oh my...
"How I hated when you popped your gum
As we made love on your floor."
That would be the final straw i think... outta-here, i say...
Very creative piece, your meter is very good and i enjoyed the rhyming, reads well out loud.
~ Wendy
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Not being a big countrymusic fan myself , I can see where this piece is coming from . Once again , your style lends itself to evoking a smile .....yet I also once again see your disdain for all that is not your 'cuppa" As a matter of fact , associating the gun with the extra bullet to said music is a bit presumptous , just like your other description of bluecollar being automatically illiterate .There is most definitely a place for your style , but i am starting to think that "poetry" might not be it , maybe an opening act for George Carlin " Poetry lends itself to some stirring of inner emotions rather then all that satyre ....there is a lack of soulstirring in your works, no angst , no hurt , no inspiration by any beauty of nature , in other words .....just bashing of something that is NOT part of you . Or might it just be me not seeing or reading between the lines.......maybe all of this is an emotional rant and cleansing of the spirit and a lashing back at what you described on your authorpage ??????
Reenie -
wow i read this cuz i saw country music; not what i expected, but it was good. interesting poem, it's very true that love has a big effect on what you do. you have a wonderful way with words... good write keep penning
God bless -
guilty
yes a good write with good form... but you are a harsh one -
Well, and a howdy, thank you, back at ya little misses.
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hell of a writer...form amd words were powerful.
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