Spirited winds blow 'bout the quiet scene
The old shack sits, just starting to lean
Cold moans and growls echo forth
To meet the cold winds from the north
Inside lays a dying beast
Fallen to anothers feast
Blackened sky and blackened sun
The dyings blood begins to run
It whispers quietly in the dark
For holy angels to gladly hark
Swept forth by fate
a beast of hate
He cackles as he comes
The creature, many souls he numbs
To eat of the soon to be dead
Rejoice in its wounds long bled
Author notes
no notes, but i like this one
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A contest entry
- Whatever Your Heart Desires by xxhoopstar21xx.
300 points, ended June 8, 2008, 61 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Very Good
This is a very good poem.
Thank You for entering Whatever Your Heart Desires
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wow it was amazing! this one just knocked me off my feet! i loved it a lot. it was written so well! awesome! words cant explain how awesome it was! great job
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Wow! This blew my mind. I had to read it twice, honestly! So dark and deep. I am pleased! Thank you for sharing. ~~Iridessa MoonFlower~~
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See you're Canadian too. Here's a group for those from our country.
http://allpoetry.com/group/show/Awesome%20Group%20for%20Canadians
Liked this poem; good flow, rhythm and rhyme as well.
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All honesty: this poem would be positively amazing if it didn't rhyme. I'm sorry, maybe it's just me (and, I confess, I am guilty of rhyme when it was neither necessary nor useful), but I think the rhyme here WEAKENS your poem. Nevertheless, I like the image of the neigh-dilapidated shack and the overall idea of the poem.
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haha, well.. this is for an english project-ish thing im working on for school and its more appealing to my teacher if it rhymes, just because he knows next to nothing about everything...
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Sweet......
Well as evil as this seems its really good...i only wish i could write as good as you...this poem will inspire me for my future writings...thank you!
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