how many measures of your skin
can I swirl with the
soft wind of my
mouth and lips?
the tongue
of a gale -
you are my meadow;
I swallow your dips & curves
while the sun sets behind us
like a waiting lover.
Author notes
prompt - insatiable in 10 lines
A contest entry
- One Word .......One Very Good Poem by Dalaney.
900 points, ended March 26, 2008, 13 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - anything goes 10 lines of poetry by tony yates.
600 points, ended March 29, 2008, 23 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 30 of 30
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you are beyond brilliant (:
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aaaaah
pure sensuality
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this is gold from top to bottom ... it writes beyond my capacity ...
save this one for submission to a publisher.
link it or something and email the link to me .... i believe you can get this one published in a good poetry magazine
double gold for sure
congrats
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I assure you that like most men, we are not going to place any limits in response to an inquiry like "how many measures of your skin / can I swirl with the /
soft wind of my / mouth and lips?"
Nope, even if there is an answer to that question, it's far better to respond "I really don't know, sweetie. Why don't you try swirling over here again, because I can't recall if I counted this as one of the 'measures' you're inquiring about."
I am not sure about the ending, though. Not because the image is not extraordinary -- it is. Rather, it's because what type of lover waits like the sunset when behind? I mean, the sunset takes a while. And that's REALLY asking for a lot of self-restraint if you're expecting a guy to wait that long.
Honestly, this is truly sensual and beautiful. I see it won not one, but two different gold trophies. It is the type of poem that deserves such accolades.
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it's very stimulating to read again your poems--whispers of finger tips, caresses of lips. i shall not avert my eyes so long from such joy. -s
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Magnificent!
You have such a gift of words, so sweetly you sway with words that charm the heart, imbuing such wonderful imagery while love and passion sweetly imbue all this, you've created a beautiful piece with that touch of your brilliance. Well done, and I can see why the gold sit besdide this. Pleasure!!
Rena~
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excellent journey on the tip of your
wending probe, over all of the delectable delights that await, the curious and the unsated lovers reach. Loved it.~~Artis
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Wow! man oh man that tickled my funny bone!!!!
This was gooooooddddd!!!!!
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sheer brilliance
very well written, thanks/good luck -
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thank you..
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No free verse will ever rip me from my teathered roots within rhyming, rhythmical poetry. But this, at least, i see as beautiful.
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This is beautiful and seductive. I am drawn into it and all its warmth and sensuality. What a gentle love poem -- you always maintain that perfect balance between the spirit and the flesh and your words live where those two meet, much as is true with love.
Well deserved gold. You craft the love poems like no one else can. Always sweet and gentle and never sappy. They are fresh and real and speak of the quiet feelings of love, the long looks, the silent afternoons in which words are an intrusion. There is something very . . . innocent (hard to find the right word) or pure in your love poems. The feelings are so genuine and speak of depth and faith and soulfulness -- even in the more sensual material. Again, you blend well the spirit and the flesh. You leave no doubt that the love you write about is one for the ages, a soul on soul love that is solid and has perfection about it.
And there is perfection about your talent. Thank you for this.
CaliOkie
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Told ya!! Congrad's on the Gold. I knew it before it was awarded. Ya the bomb.lol
Joe -
a very beautiful write my friend...I wish I can fall in the arms of this moment again...lol
HENSLEY
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OMG!
what a GOLDEN write this is...
you are the only poet who can sling pure heat with such amazing grace...
classy...alluring...freakin' HOT...beautiful poetry...
this is so worthy of the gold Tara...
you are such a gifted poet...
I feel blessed each time I witness your words...
blessings! Tammy
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so very nice, blending so much senses and sensation into this, showing imagery and most tender words; very beautiful...PK
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that first stanza was enough to just take my breath away. thank you so much for entering. love, lane
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Beautifully tender
There is nothing wrong with writing a lot of love poetry when you have the ability to write it like this.
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To a poem like this one we can only sigh and smile...
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Serenely beautiful Tara. Best of luck in the contest dear.
Love and peace always,
mj.
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To sum up such things in spoken word is impossible, but in poetry you use the landscape, the wind, the sun, all of nature. Isn't that the only appropriate way to portray such feelings? Well done March, I read spring in your words. Sorry I've been a stranger.
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Beautifully written and so softly sensual! Good luck in the contest!
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ohh the breath of fine love is blowing, perhaps a storm will rise from a gentle poetic breeze, a good poem.
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Sweet sensuality, spilled.
Wonderful.
Joe
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Beautifully written, tasteful and well paced, so that this poetry sighs sensuality.
Ironically, in the UK we have ambrosia custard, it is very thick and creamy, you could offer them this poetry for their advertizing as their is even a meadow pictured on the tin, the sales would rocket with this as a voice over on the TV, here are a trio of three well deserved happy chappies!
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no one can end a poem like you. fabulous.
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What lovely images. So soft and sensual. Just beautiful.
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forgot the guys reaching.. clutching... grasping at you
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Your perception of the prompt are powerfully flowing, as if a single petal of rose, a single petal of iris... and a single petal of morning glory... all surfing scented winds into melting sun. Beautifully penned my friend. Best wishes in the comp
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beautiful as always
Lynda
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