Here I am,
touching you,
Softl.
Feeling so lostly,
But when you,
Gently touch my skin,
I know you love me.
And you'll always want me,
Here we go,
We have fallng clothes,
Now we are,
Staring a each other,
Ourlove is like thunder,
Our pulling groins,
Our muscles proud,
We're growing mad,
We want it bad,
My legs are apart,
Softly you go in,
Loudly i Scream,
I scratch your back,
Your going hard,
Loving you like crazy,
You're calling me your baby.
One last rough time,
One last loud-
Moan,
You tell me-
You want me,
I tell you,
I'm yours,
Oh so good,
Just like a dream,
But more real,
I love the way,
It feels!
A contest entry
- The Erotic Challenge Season 6 by Master Ktulu.
450 points, ended March 27, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
sinful yes!....what do you think?
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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shifted in my seat a few times.
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Welcome to AllPoetry
You have a couple small spelling mistakes such as 'softl' - 'softly'
Saucy and tasty
♥
Enjoy AllPoetry
Stay safe
~Manda
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Damn girl... love the way you spoke your body laungue.
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nice
i like intensity
it brings when u
read to the next line.
doing it roughly gives
more feeling to the poem
good job
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A very tantalizing piece of poetry full of intense desire. Very nice and romantic piece of poetry
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I agree with tanzanite. You need to look at this piece as if you were an editor looking at another's work. Tighten it up, correct your grammer and capitalization and then I, too, will be back to give you a critique. The message is good and I like the imagery, however, the needed corrections keep it from being a great poem.
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Okay, hun, there is a lot of spelling and grammatical errors in this i.e. softl. Also, the repetition of softly does not work for me. Find another word to replace it with. I can see the sex and that is a good thing when we read erotica. You need to clean this up though. Once you have done so, I will be more than happy to return and give you the comment you deserve.
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