The world is growing dark
in this City of Mortality
where we abandon hope and dream
Time to live, time to die
and a finite time to wonder why
Jesus died, Jesus died
Do I dare disturb this butterfly
colored black and white?
Do I dare, do I dare
No
Last night at the bar
I drank cheap wine
and prayed to Malta's Jew
I prayed to Me, I prayed to You
I prayed to Michelangelo too
Wouldn't you know, I killed Michelangelo
and drank tea, and ate toast
I killed Michelangelo
Now I eat herbs and drink rain
bought at a market of voices and choices
salvation and pain
I buy happiness in exchange
for a soul and apple
And Little Child, reconciled
from murder and disdain
sits in the New World Order church
with Brutus and Nostradamus
praying to the dust and rain
and praying to his own name
Pray to you and pray to Me
pray to the Tiger and the Sheep
Colored White and colored Black
Pray to the Tiger and the Sheep
Pray for health and stillness
and a satin shroud
shrewed and prude and judged to die
this child wonders why Jesus died
It's a disaster despite
the fire and the wine
the murmur and the memory
the water and the line
drawn from you to me
To leave the church
with a heavy heart
of oak and birch
Drink the rust
in bloody tears
and appreciate the year
And did God die for this sin
did God die for lead and tin
and a soldier killed in times of war
Ask no more, we don't need to know
the murderer of Michelangelo
and the murderer of Beowolf
Would you believe the tide and wind
spoken from a human
in the face of the deep
the divine comedy of ash and flame
Who is it the wind blamed
for the death of the King
the retreat of the guard
and the bomb that blew a thousand shards
into the church the child prayed
What is it you say young one
who is it who saved you
from the fire and the ice
and the whimper of the end of time
And now we walk, East to Eden
where paradise burns, where paradise is lost
and I am not your keeper
I am not your God
and the city we lived in burns
salvation gone
salvation gone
I kissed the rose on the way
and listened to what the Caterpillar
had to say
I listened with great intent
attention and the intention to repent
for sins of gold and god and dust
Must we fall victim to the message
the wind sent
in finite time and time infinite
but a spasm, but a second
spent in agony, spent in happiness
And now paradise is lost
the brave new world burns
Did you learn of the rose petal
blooming and dying
and the conquest and the rise and fall
I am the Rise and Fall of Athens
I am the Leviathan
crawling, falling
I am Napoleon
and I am Adam
because God died
in the war against religion
A contest entry
- Hit me with EVERYTHING. PW OK! by z etoile.
375 points, ended March 28, 2008, 56 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Cricket Preliminaries by B Chandler.
450 points, ended April 19, 2008, 6 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I want your BEST prewrites!! by perfectsunset.
1000 points, ended April 24, 2008, 60 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - show AND tell by just rob.
3000 points, ended April 28, 2008, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
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Holy fucking hell
You had to be doing acid? lol
I can't imagine writing something this long that could keep even my own attention.
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Lol, nah
I wouldn't mind doing acid though. XD lol
I'm such a psychonaut.
How are you?
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Doon well, thanks
A little drunk considering it's only 5:30
Fuck!
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Great beginning, great ending. Glad I clicked this.
I reside in NY as well, I'm a Binghamtonian. Not something I'd usually boast about, needless to say.
But this is great. You have a great ability to observe the trees instead of the woods, so to speak. On the favorites you go.
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I liked your name and decided that I would take a look at what you wrote. This is something I've been doing since I joined this site. I find the better the name the more likely the poetry is good.
Anyway, I clicked the link to your page and the sample of this poem totally turned me off. "A dark city of mortality", it set me up for some death, doom, gloom and "pain in the shadows of my soul" kinda poetry.
THANKYOU!
that is, for surprising me with an original, beautiful and really intricate poem.
when i'm not staving off a hangover i'll read this over again and try to decipher some of the symbolism.
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Well Done!
I read it twice and enjoyed both readings. It reads well aloud once the changes in tempo sink in.
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An interesting path this twists. It read like a movie lens, fast pace, fast motion, panning through history without settling in it. There's a lot to take in, as the writing is rich, but those last two lines.. whether one has followed the write or hasn't..
capture the concept precisely.
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Commentary
To be honest, I really wasn't sure about this poem when I first took a quick glance over it. But now as I took a more in-depth look and read, the proprietaries of concept written to form the idealism of society verus society's concept on religion combined with observation really pulls the entire notion of what things have become now in the aspects of pure observation -
To be honest, this was a great poem, very lengthy, but I am quite confused. I am a Catholic so I believe you do have different beliefs than me based upon this poem, but would you mind clarifying it for me so i better understand the point you are trying to get across? Thanks
Best of luck & thanks for entering
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i really like--i just skimmed, but i'm going back to read again later when i'm not so sleep deprived
strange coincidence, though - i just read the love song of j. alfred prufrock for the millionth time or so...literally less than a minute ago. -
Quite a write ...
and you've done a remarkable job of expounding on your premise. All in all, good job.
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wow
a very well- written piece of poetry. I would suggest that most people loose sight of who Jesus is because of what other people do in the name of religion. this poem was a bit confusing, and I'm not sure if your message is similar to the one above or if it is totally different- but, either way, the rhythm, rhyme and references are amazing! Great work!
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i love this peice it was a bit confusing but i got it lol great write
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Well this poem was certainly all over the place. You have an interesting opinion on things different from mine, yet I try to respect everyone. Thank you for entering the contest!
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inspirational, thanks
The Sun is God.
Prove me wrong.
It's time our disbelief
moved along the corridors
of our fading memories.
It's time this belief of lies
is tossed in the pile to kindle
religion, politics, and confusion
allowing the good to survive
tearing war away from reason.
Then we come to Christ
and to those who don't believe in him,
look me in the eyes
and tell me what year it is.
What are you aware of
happening that many years ago?
A conspiracy revealed by leonardo?
I believe in Jesus
but I said fuck the bible
got a problem with it preachers?
then you can suck my eyeball.
I don't know about you all
but I don't like to be lied to.
How come I never learned
why there's a face on the moon
and why it and the sun
can be so different in size
yet they appear the same
when I look to the skies?
People are idiots.
Prove me wrong.
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That was pretty jaded though it was also a fairly accurate description of this world of mortality that we live in! hmmmmmmmmmm....it was engaging till the last word and considering the length of the poem, it is quite a tough thing to do; if one does not have a flair with verse. Bravo! Pretty good going there!
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Thanks.
Yes, it certainly is quite cynical. XD
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WOW!!!!!!!
I love all this... you use everything so wisely, the rhyming, the alliterations, the capital initials, the repetitions, the symbols, the allusions... This is very clever. Really, it kept my attention all along, and that's not so easy to do.
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Thank you!
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really love this.
comment more later
Gotsta go to the teeth doctor.
:SS
Bye!!
I really do love this though
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Thanks!
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