I've seen her sweet and nice,
I've seen her when there's pain.
I've been there when she feels like crap,
When she only wants to be dead.
She's a pretty smart person,
Not many people know.
She tries to be a great person,
To be something great to her world.
And she's broken like a china doll,
Always left cause no one cares.
No remorse and sympathy,
For a girl with many fears.
I've seen her cry and get the knives,
And wait for his return.
He hunts her down and oulls her down,
And let's her life go downhill.
I absolutely love this girl,
Really can't get enough.
But she needs some help, Oh how I wish,
She'd let me give it in return as her friend.
Author notes
This is to my friend, who I have decided not to name.
However, I am sure when she reads this, she'll know. She has a lot of problems, including living with a rapist. :/
I want to help her, but she lives a bunch of states away AND she feels it isn't necessary.
What should I do? :[
Comment please, so I can see what I am lacking.
Comments
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What you are not lacking is the ability to express personal feelings through poetry. This pulls at the heart. You might try combining the lines, making them longer, so that the point of the poem seems less choppy. As to your personal question, just letting her know you are there for her, even though you think it isn't helping..trust me..it is.
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Thanks for the advice! I love when people actually give a crap and comment on my poems, telling me they liked it or what I can or can't do.
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