You gave me your heart,
A beautiful heart,
A wonderful heart that beats so deep.
I have long known your heart
And followed your heart
And now with your heart how I weep.
This great giving heart,
This warm precious heart
That you asked me to love and to keep.
Take it back,
Take it back,
For I just cannot deal with the heat.
Author notes
User name Room without doors -also option 4
A contest entry
- for Romantic Dreamers ~~ OPEN TO ALL! by PassionsPromise.
1800 points, ended April 19, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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love it!
This is short and to the point. I like the multiple uses of the word 'heart', it seems in this you really have strong feeling toward this person. I loved it!
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SO PASSIONATE!!!
Such deep feeling! I sure wish a heart like that would find its way to me!
's
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Interesting.
My is the romance that hot? I would ask to take it back too if I could not handle things. I suppose having a warm heart is a lot easier to handle than a cold one.
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I don't understand the poem. First you love his heart but then you want him to take it back. I thought that
a burning heart only makes love stronger.
Return the favor? -
ooo..I really like this...I feel the repetition creates such depth in this short write..
The last line really adds so much power and passion...
I love any thing with a twist...smiles
Thanks for sharing
Many blessings
~A~
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This was simply a beautiful little tune.
great job and appreciate the entry. Best of luck to you in the contest.
Love
Passions
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Lovely lyric. Refrain used heart extensively, This is nicely done as a song. The last leaves reader to stumble.
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The last line, to me, didn't quite fit that timeless romantic tone, but it was still good. I loved the setup of this one and really did remind me of the classic poets, especially with the repetition.
Well done!
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wow.... this was intense for me to read...
the use of the word heart in repetition like that caught me in the last line... and i had to reset my brain to read heat
i think it made the heat seem hotter...
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Take as much
You showed me your way,
A wonderful way,
Way which all may acknowledge today.
I've long yearned for the way
hoped for scope as I'd pray
for fresh shores, open doors, shed dismay.
This greatest gift may
Pump shared cheer, never weigh
Upon hearts which would cherish and play.
Take as much, take as much,
As you freely give - such
is love's alpha/omega, true ray.
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i think that this would work well as a song, or section of a song with the repetition of the word heart in nearly every line - ah the heat of love, it can be a little bit too much at times - a good poem
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