I need an escape
But where can I go
When it’s raining outside
And those diamonds hurt so
Like pieces of glass
Your shards cut me deep
Listening to rain on my windows
Helps me to sleep
When the fog is so thick
That the rainbow is veiled
Where is the sunshine
Just diamonds are hailed
You’re pretty to look at
Cold to the pain
Hard as diamonds
Soft as the rain
Comments
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wow
hard as dimonds sooft as the rain i aloms don't think your talking about the rain or diamonds but about a person a person with different personalities a person who can be tough and strong and week and shy this is realy good
. Rewarded 4
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I saw this title and noticed I had a line in one of my poems about jeweled rain. I love how both of our interpretations are so different, one being something treasured, the other, hurtful, unwanted. Very cool, love when you come across something like that
. Rewarded 6
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thanks! just because something looks beautiful doesn't mean it is.
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Gorgeous use of metaphors!!!! I am in awe here!!! I am to simple minded to be able to write in metaphors so I am always impressed when others can and do it so well!! Fabulous job.....
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Nice
I not only like things with hidden meanings as you know all ready....I love poems that you have to really think about!! Nice Work
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Wow... I love the images, the pain... all the ideas put together... is a wonderful... piece... It really has great depth, and amazing descriptions...
Wonderful...
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feel your pain!
thought your poem has a good rhythm, this is Dede starfire23's mom. -
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Thanks!
I really appreciate the feedback... do you have an account here to?
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Loved the rhyming. Not only because it's my personal preference in poetry, but also because you managed to avoid the everyday rhyming pairs. That really impresses me. Fabulous job again. I am truly enjoying my time spent here. Good luck in the contest.
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I absolutley love the metaphors you use here! This is a beautiful piece. The third stanza is my favorite...not exactly sure why :-) The ending is great and connects with the title and the opening. The second stanza confused me a little- I'm getting the picture that the "diamond rain" wouldn't be a peaceful thing like those last two lines imply. But then again everyone draws their own meaning, which is a reason I love poetry ;-) Overall though I really enjoyed it!
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Thanks!
I think what I ment in the second stanza was that rather then feel the 'diamond rain', we put up a shield that protects yourself, you can see it, hear it but not feel it and that gives some solace. I wasn't sure what I was writing actually this one just came out LOL.
I like the third stanza too because it insinuates the rainbow is still there, even if it is veiled - sometimes it's hard to see the good things in life for all the bad things that are there. There is a saying that I really love 'look up through your tears to see the rainbow' it goes something like that, can't remember it exactly but its something that has stuck in my mind. -
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Ahh, now I understand- I love what you are trying to express in the second stanza then! And that is a beautiful saying about rainbows :-)
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Poetic devices
Hello there, Diane.
Thank you very much for your perceptive comments and suggestions for my love poem. I made a few changes, following most of your advice, so I hope it's better now.
I like the poetic devices in this poem - the metaphors, the similes, enjambement and the neat structure of the verses.
Have a gr8 day,
BJ.
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Thanks!
Your very welcome. I'm not to sure about this poem I was worried that I am perhaps being too metaphorical here and the msg is lost... but now I'm a little more confident so thanks! p.s what does enjambement mean? -
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message
The poetry is more important than the message. As they say in poetry circles - if you want to send a message, use the phone!
This poem could be even more metaphoric.
Enjambment is when one line flows onto another without pause or punctuation.
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This is wonderful..I love this line right here
" Hard as diamonds soft as the rain " actually I love all of the lines in it!
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