Have you risen?
You reach up, hand snatching hope
right out of the stale air-
Rusted metal sheets,
welded, bolted, cradled into place,
too perfect from imperfect man
who came along,
pregnant with his corroded creation
yearning to be birthed-
And so birthed you,
Madonna of the scrap yard.
Sentinel, red and brown and tin
goddess, legs still trapped in rubble,
but look up, tremble, hope, and reach-
And he who created
(burdened now only with sin)
has cut the cord to his creation,
your own life begun-
To look and hope forever;
copper hair streaming down iron back
as bronze face, with longing gaze
frantically strains,
and reaches, reaches-
And somewhere
your father mourns on a beaten bench,
or sleeps in a bus station,
or stares out at the world
from behind half open blinds-
And thinks of you,
who desires more than this world-
you, Madonna, who cannot help but reach
and hope, with beaten brass breasts and hips
stretched, one arm thrown down
to propel the other up-
And he leans back and thinks of you,
and how he birthed you in secret
in a deserted scrap yard.
And he dreams of the things he never did,
the girls he never kissed,
and how his dreams used to be
Bigger,
Bigger than the whole sky-
And so Madonna,
you reach for those colossal dreams,
still eyes forever searching higher,
tiny ball bearings seeking out infinity-
You will dream for him
so he can live,
and you will reach and hope-
And passerby will pause and stare,
and in them
you will flicker, gold-
A contest entry
- HELP ME!!!!! by ShadowsDream.
300 points, ended April 10, 2008, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Unappreciated Brilliance by KayJay.
1300 points, ended June 23, 2008, 18 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - 25 trophies or less! Enter! by xxRainbowDawnxx.
450 points, ended July 19, 2008, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
-
Love the way you started this, very deep and kind of an oxymoron, but I love them. Expressive and deep, painted a picture.
-
This is a moving and thoughtful metaphor, open to so many interpretations... I love how you don't define the Madonna but leave it to each reader to apply her to their own lives... their own needs... Beautifully phrased prose and strong images make this wonderfully accessible...
No critique here... It's perfect as it stands...
I think this is a great work... Thank you for sharing...Truely, this is what I was hoping for... and it's unappreciated no longer.
Ken
-
This is very interesting indeed and fascinating too,beautiful indeed,a great write
-
Interesting way to help someone get their muse back, by showing them through these words how a madonna can be made from scraps and created into something beautiful. Liked the flow and the story you tell in these lines.
-
its really interesting and beautiful. you made it so i could see the scrape yard madonna in my head, its truly amazing and so vivid.
-
I enjoyed reading this well written and thought provoking piece of poetry, liked the language you use, the metaphor,maybe the capitalization of each line isn't necessary per se, but that's a perspective and not a criticism dear poet. I like this vey much, it's interesting, original and you have a voice worth listening too. Bravo.
Adding your comment:
1 - 6 of 6
