There is a place, deep within me
where I secretly harbor
thoughts of you
You haunt my dreams
like a specter
enticing me
arousing me.
I keep these feelings
bound within
a vault
that only you
have the key to.
The vault is not cold stone
or steel.
It is a place of fire
where emotions run molten
It is a place where the
the unspoken
revels in the freedom
from mundane morality.
I look in the mirror
with a guiles expression
but the truth
bleeds from my eyes.
Author notes
"A thought is as bad as the deed" Jimmy Carter
The Latin word fornix, from which fornicātiō, the ancestor of fornication, is derived, meant "a vault, an arch." The term also referred to a vaulted cellar or similar place where prostitutes plied their trade.
Prompt: fornication
Picture Credit: picture by temper-temper (http://photobucket.com/mediadetail/ temper-temper/ d12b9ea0.png)
Since you're already here, please add a comment. Criticism welcome - I don't take it personally. I’m just trying to improve my abilities. If it touches you (good or bad, laughter or sadness, even confusion), that's feedback too and good to know.
Thanks...
Ken
A contest entry
- fornication by Melissa Gayle.
300 points, ended March 30, 2008, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Critical Comments Always Welcome
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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tital
I especially enjoyed the tital of this poem. Vault meaning, to leap or spring, to or from a position or over something OR a burial chamber OR an arched structure, usually made of stones, concrete, or bricks, forming a ceiling. Pick any of those meanings and it fits. My thoughts are of you leaping forward....vaulting over, into something.
Cheryl
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I like the clarity of this piece, nailing down exactly the thought of keeping things hidden and how that can both be a good and a bad thing (particularly emotionally).
Good write.
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I enjoy your poems so. I also love reading your author's notes. They always add a new dimension to the appreciation of the poem.
I like and respect Jimmy carter (but I know less about his presidency than I do about his humanitarian efforts afterwards). I've heard that said of him - they asked him if he had sinned and he said he had sinned in his heart. Wow! Compare that to Bill Clinton. Yikes! - NANGALEEMA -
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Thank you for the lovely comment. The question that comes to mind: Which is worse? Internal deception or external deception? One stays hidden, festering, coloring your thoughts... perhaps the other is more honest?
Just a thought...
Ken -
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Okay, I've been thinking about what you said...
Yes. I see your point. It is honorable to strive for sincerity, openess and honesty - especially in cases when one knows that to do so will garner the disapproval of others. But striving for reticence and self controll is honorable as well. EVERYONE has had thoughts passing through the transome of our minds that could be considered innappropriate or perverse. Been tempted in some way with desires (sexual or otherwise) that some other part of ourselves tells us we "ought not" act upon for various reasons. There is a difference between "internal deception" and self controll. In my opinion a delicate balance must be struck - with consideration to how our actions affect others. As for sincerity - take anger, for example, if you're angry and you feel like killing someone, better to SAY it than DO it. In the case of prejudice, for example - and I believe we are ALL prejudiced in some way or another, even if our own rational or moral minds disaprove of prejudice - better not to even speak it, but instead to attempt to fight or suppress it. Then on the other hand, like in the case of this poem, perhaps, some hidden thoughts or desires should be declared and acted upon despite consequences.
And as for this business with the presidents - I'd much rather he "sin in his heart" (we're all human), than give himself over willy nilly to having a BJ under his desk! The commander-in-chief ought to have command of himself (and his libido) instead of going commando in the Oval Office - not just because it could be said to be morally wrong, but because of the potential negative impact it could have on others.
Anyway - this is all just a matter of opinion.
Whew! Didn't mean to go on so. Thank you for making me think! - NANGALEEMA
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love the way you work words. fantastic imagery.
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You, sir, have done it again, another amazingly stunning write. This is great! Best of luck in the contest.. go get em!
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Thank you... I had noticed it but never got back to remove it. Your attention deserves a special thanks for both helping me and for the appreciation.
Gracias, Obrigado, Danke, Thanks!
Ken -
Thank you (again). I don't know if it's stunning but it's a different direction than the obvious and I found it fun to integrate both the orginal and contemporary meanings of the prompt. We'll see.
Ken
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This is good, I don't think you need the 'in' after you have said 'within, in this vault'...just an adding of one extra similie ruins the flow. This is lovely. Love, C
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Well I am glad that I decided to read entries before writing one my self because we had the same thoughts!! You did a most amazing job here and since I shared these thoughts on the prompt I find this simply stunning and I wish you the best of luck......Incredibley well done!!!
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You know what they say about great minds. Well, I'm not one but you still have a chance (LOL). Please, don't let me stop you... learn from my mistakes and make your's richer, more complete, more... you.
Thank you for comment...
Ken
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