In my mind I can see the vivid white of the day behind me.
i can hear the thunder of the dripping sink
I should fix that.
perhaps when the time is right, away from this tiring day, perhaps
A broken thought is all that is left for repairs.
this, this is nothing but a shelter for worries, burdens
Let me wish another 'morning sunshine' to bring me colour.
upon this house. upon this yard of sighing tulips, and aging grass
In my mind I hear the faint call of the insects from my yard.
this is a mountain of troubles, a holy patch of red clay
I have heard them thirty-three times, I count in my head.
even more useless clutter to fill the meaningless blur of a life unfulfilled
Nighttime comes sooner than I expected.
i guess this makes thirty-four times, wouldn't it
I should water the garden, before it gets too dark.
a wise decision, I must say I feel a thirst
My own life could use some watering.
would this count as thirty-five
As I've said: "it is nothing that isn't broken."
Author notes
This would address the sixth choice in the contest, as it is not my inner voice I am addressing.
I hope you enjoy it.
A contest entry
- #5 That Voice You Hear...It's The Other You. by ModernXTimes.
675 points, ended June 1, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Leave me your messages, critiques and thoughts.
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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I love your wrriteing style! It's like totally amazing! You are such an amazing writer!
x[[♥]]x
and ♥
Katiee.
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Thanks!
Well this has been my fave for years
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You are really good!!! Just stunning and completely unique, even if this isn't a personal write, still individual in a big way. I like this, it is sort of prose/poem, just the way you described things, I felt like I was there.
......
Just simply amazing.
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Thank you very much,
I am positively speckled you enjoyed it
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I liked it. It was very unique, and I absolutely love your writing style. It's very different, something you don't see too often. You focus on the imagery without using too many flowery words, and it's very hard to make it sound good. At first though, I was thinking about how this can relate to the contest, but it dawned on me like the third time I read it because you're basically talking to yourself and your conscience as you're going through the motions described above. Thank you for your wonderful entry and good luck in the contest
Sincerely,
ModernXTimes -
:)
Finally put it on here eh?
Like I said before, I really like how you write
It's really really pretty and you better start putting more on here *shakes fist* haha.
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well done! i love the imagery and flow of this piece of art... i can smell the tulips can see the red clay.. ican hear the water running.. very powerful and quite unique.. thanks for sharing
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