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Liquid Dreams

Enchanting shade of love imbued,
as the sea's hands reach out,
drawing closed night's curtain.

Wondrous hues from setting sun
fade out softly,
cloaked;
by canopy twinkling.

Your eyes mimic the stars.
Shining bright,
they reflect my smile.

A shade so deep,
an abyss.
Swimming ever deeper,
liquid dreams.

Yet your kiss is my elixir,
my breath of life,
as I live forever.

In love always,
as eternal as the sea.


Joyce Le Lievre
(sunny day)

© Joyce A. Le Lievre, All Rights Reserved
March 24, 2008

Author notes

Your Prompt is: INDIGO
FREE VERSE: No "traditional rhyme"
Poetic Device: Solid Metaphor

Picture is courtesy of google image search; http://www.saharanadventure.com/eyes3.gif

This is also for my group, Titles Are Us.

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Comments

1 - 18 of 18

  • Pamela A Lamppa silver member
    April 8, 2008

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    And then there is the sea, in all its blue hues eternal.

    "Yet your kiss is my elixir,
    my breath of life,"

    Beautiful description here. Thank you for your entry. Best of luck in the judging. ~wilted_rose*


    • sunny day
      April 9, 2008

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      Pam, Thank you for the applauses and your lovely words of praise for me here. I did try to capture the prompt and bring it to life. I'm very happy that you enjoyed it so much. Thank you for the best wishes also. Love and God bless you my friend, Joyce


  • Lyndon gold member
    March 28, 2008

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    A story of enduring love

    presented in such soft imagery with suggestiveness of indigo for flow of sea at evening and deepening hue of "canopy" above.
    Your 'solid' metaphor of sky and sea as the yin and yen of love are presented so beautifully especially in this meaningful stanzas from an imagistic point of view:
    "A shade so deep,
    an abyss.
    Swimming ever deeper,
    liquid dreams."
    Perhaps enchanting, certainly evocative lyrical modern verse.
    ~ from Ron.

    • sunny day
      March 28, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Ron, Thank you for the applauses and your lovely words of praise for me here. This competition has been quite tough and the talent is amazing. I am trying to keep up with all. I'm very happy that you enjoyed this one and felt it as you did. Love and God bless you my friend, Joyce


  • Amera gold member
    March 28, 2008

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    Your free verse is mesmerizing. You took the word prompt and turned it into a flowing portrait of motion and beauty. This is amazing as you crafted a single word into a story with an image of emotion. Bravo!

    Love,
    Amera♥

    • sunny day
      March 28, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Amera, Thank you for the applauses and again for your lovely words of praise. This contest has been so amazing. There are some very gifted writers competing here and I'm just trying to keep up with the Jones' so to speak. The prompt was inspiring and I'm very happy that you enjoyed it so much. Love you my friend, Joyce


  • marlene47 silver member
    March 27, 2008

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    Sea's hands... drawing closed night's curtain is my favorite line.
    A very tender love poem.
    Amazing image you've chosen, too.
    Marlene

    • sunny day
      March 28, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Marelene, Thank you for the lovely words of praise you gave to me here. This is a tough contest with so much talent in it. I am just trying to stay afloat. No pun intended there. I'm very happy that you enjoyed this one. Our title worked perfect for the contest. Love and God bless, Joyce


  • Frozentearz
    March 26, 2008

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    I love this contest not one entry I have read so far is the same, each one bringing a part of the writer with it. your poem left me with a Indigo feeling



    There is a shade of blue


    where the sky meets the sea;



    where forever is but a moment


    and hearts are meant to be.

    Simply lovely my Dear Friend.
    A wonderful round indeed.
    Love and Indigo Light
    Tearz

    • sunny day
      March 27, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Tearz, Thank you for the lovely words of praise you gave to me here. This contest is most definitely filled with some wonderful writers of which you are one. I'm very happy that I could share some indigo light with you. Love and God bless you my friend, Joyce


  • going nowhere
    March 26, 2008

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    this was so.... so.... so.... OH MY! i can't even describe it! like glittering stars are falling around me entrancing me into a sea of love

    just beautiful...

    best of luck in the contest... i see this as a trophy winner.

    • sunny day
      March 26, 2008
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      going, Thank you for the applauses and such lovely words of praise for me here. I am quite humbled by them. This is a tough round and I can't wait to see the beauty that your pen will hold. Your talent for free verse is outstanding and I know I will be amazed at your write. I'm very happy that you enjoyed my entry. With the talent in this contest I don't know about a trophy. I am pleased with the write though. LOL Thank you for the best wishes. Love and God bless you my friend, Joyce


  • CitrineSunrise silver member
    March 26, 2008

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    This is such a beautiful poem of love, filled with soul stirring imagery and lush emotions. "Swimming ever deeper in liquid dreams" decribes that yearning to view the soul of our beloved. I always enjoy reading your verses to Jeff, and I believe you are becoming more comfortable with free verse every day. Thank you for sharing this with all of us. Liz

    • sunny day
      March 26, 2008
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      Liz, Thank you for such lovely words of praise for me here sis. The prompt took me into a sea of love. Those four lines that Pam had used on the contest page had me thinking of the ocean immediately and a starlit night. They are two of the most beautiful things to share with the one you love. I am trying to work harder on my free verse. This is an amazing contest and I'm looking forward to see what gem you give to us. Love and hugs, Joyce


  • R S Adams Jr silver member
    March 25, 2008

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    oh, I like this...

    ...it is full of loving emotion. 'my breath of life' is but one romantic phrase in your delightful poem.

    I like the 'canopy twinkling." Two words and they describe so much and create a feeling of wonder to me.

    The thought of the eyes that reflect my smile, at the same time as they mimic the stars, makes me think about how huge the love really is.

    I cannot explain the feeling adequately, because there are so many feelings mixed in your metaphor and your show of love. A beautiful poem.

    • sunny day
      March 25, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      RS, Thank you for the applauses and your lovely words of praise here for me. I'm very happy that you enjoyed my use of metaphors. I tried to mix as many loving emotions as possible to soften the color and have it agree with the write. I'm also very happy that you enjoyed the piece itself. Love and God bless, Joyce


  • Blue Rew silver member
    March 25, 2008

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    Truly, you capture something here.
    A write that encompasses the deeper
    and more feminine side of this hue.
    Everything ties in so well, drawing
    sea, romance, mystery, and eternity
    together in soft cascade of verse.
    Blue

    • sunny day
      March 25, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Blue, Thank you for the applauses and your lovely words of praise for me here. I did choose the feminine side and geared it towards love as a woman would do. LOL I'm very happy that you feel it tied in together and flowed well, also that you enjoyed. Love and God bless, Joyce

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