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Faded dreams

 

I'm not sure I really see you

In the echoes of a dream

 

The colours drifting slowly

Back to grey

 

The shapes that I was dreaming

Are the shapes I see as you

 

But the colours aren't the colours

That I see 

 

In the space where I am waking 

In the space I keep for you

I see colours that start fading

Back to grey

 

In the time since I was dreaming

I am losing touch with you

And your colours aren't the same

As in my dreams

 

Will I see you when I'm waking

As I see you in my dreams

Will your colours be alive

Or just be grey

 

In the time since I was dreaming

I have lost my hold on you

I see colours but they're fading

back to grey

 

In my dreams I 'm always certain

That the you I see is real

And your colours never fade away at all

 

When I'm waking

I'm not knowing

And the colours fade away

Will I see you as my dream girl

Will I see you in your colours

Will my dreams become an echo

Of my life

 

 

Author notes

Image Credit Echo by Leila Kubba Kawash 1996

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • whispernthedark Greeters member
    May 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is breathtaking. Thank you for entering the contest, good luck.

    ♥
    whisper


  • Dalaney gold member
    April 7, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    My Goodness! You won gold in FREE VERSE!!!! I don't know who is more excited...you are me!!! lol


  • Pamela A Lamppa silver member
    April 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I am enchanted, mesmerized, taken into a world of beauty within these soft and tender words. I absolutely love the effective use of repetition in this piece. It adds just the right pauses to pull so much emotion out of the reader. I was just at "OH" by the end of this and loving every word.
    Superb entry for this contest. Written with a skilled hand and an knack for bringing emotion to the tip of the nerve endings.
    Truly an echo worth waiting to hear. Thank you for this. Exactly what I was looking for in this contest.
    Well done poet, and best of luck in the judging. ~Pamela


  • darell
    March 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Marvelous!

    This piece brings back lovely memories
    for me. It reminds me of my first love.
    We shared an intense romance for a summer.
    By time the winter months came we were still
    in love but disillusioned by the problems of
    the world. I held her close to my heart for years.
    She became a dreamlike fantasy that I yearned for.
    Years later after we both had married and had kids
    we tried to rekindle love but it faded to colors
    of grey and vanished completely.
    Thanks for the fond memories of yesterday


  • PassionsPromise gold member
    March 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wonderful job. Although your a better rhymer then free verse...but, do my words mean anything? Bravo to another well penned piece.


    PAssions


  • Mairi bheag gold member
    March 24, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Kinda what Lane said.

    (I must follow people more often - it saves effort!)

  • Dalaney gold member
    March 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is beautiful free verse...
    there is a lilting feel to your words,
    or maybe, a sway...either way, I felt
    movement...movement in poetry. love, lane


    • cricketjeff gold member
      March 24, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank-you!
      From my reason for writing free verse that means a huge amount!

1 - 8 of 8