From the doors of heaven;
Raises a voice
“Here on hell, son there’s a choice.
I said my lord,
.
.
.“What difference will it make, if here I chose to stay,
Quite much my son- coz breath in hell is no child’s PLAY.
Here’s a gift for your deed,
While there’s a rift which lies beneath....!!!
A contest entry
- PLEASE! Help me get rid of my points! by Shenanigans.
1000 points, ended May 19, 2008, 36 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Its a complete new avenue for me. Plz put in your comments.
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
-
Hey,this is really a nice piece.Very thought-provoking and the last two lines makes one wonder! The unusual spacing may have made it distracting,but i found it interesting.
Well-done!
-
-
hey...thnx for ya commnts!!
well actually this poem was made with a sole thot of raising questions!!
d poem shows god...clarifyng...Y heaven is better thn hell"
while the man keeps on stressng tht...today there's nthng called heaven...everyone on earth is commitng a crime/bad deed in somway or d another!!
and the spacing was intentionally put in...so as to make d above points stand out!!
newys thnx!!!
-
-
Excellent
Thanks for sending me the link...It seems we both haven't been able to write or should I say haven't posted anything in a long time...You were busy playing with your life, I have been uninspired...
I loved this message and I truly enjoyed the poem
Thank you for sharing it with me...
Lots of love
Tes
-
short but meaningful. I believe chose should be choose, though perhaps that's not what youre going for. Also, I'd change the spelling of "coz". I'm not sure God (or whoever is discussing Hell) would use chatspeak..
Great write though, I love the message. Keep it up! --SHANNON
-
Exquisite!!
This is amazing.. loved the last line.. it conveys so much.. very deep and insightful piece.. Thanx for sharing.. -
Thanks for sharing this one!
-ten-
-
Wow I love this! I don't completely understand but I catch the main drift. It was interesting the way it was set up but it didn't make it harder for me to read. Great write! =P
-
i think it was nice. slightly confusing at times for me, but then again, it was one of those simply complicated master pieces. good job. i l0ved it.
-
its different and it flowed nice. the way it was set up was quite different a bit hard to follow but other than that it was good. you should add more to it it kinda left me wanting more.
-
Very Interesting Thoughts
Proving without a doubt every action has its own reward.
A fine work of art. Peace in light and love. Be well. Best wishes in life.
-
well the poem sure raised my eyes, coz hell i will never be, but then one never knows...good luck..
M -
Burning questions...most compelling thoughts!
Blessings~
Az
-
An interesting piece you have written. Not sure about the background, think it is a little distracting. But your words are intense and powerful, raising some unique questions. Overall I like it, very well penned. Thank you for sending me the link
-
hmmm its very intresting...
but such a distraction with all the spacing...it makes the words harder to connect from...
but still a nice poem with the words itself...
also i think the title is very befitting, so nice job
take care
stephanie -
You raised some interesting questions with your poem. The background distracts from your words but they were worth making the effort to read as I feel you put a lot of yourself into the writing. Thank you for inviting me to read.
Margaret
Adding your comment:
1 - 15 of 15
