T’was a stifling day in Gimlee and the smoke belched from the chimney
Of the foundry as old Albert forged the drovers’ horses’ shoes,
But the fire pits blazed for nothing with their crackling and their snuffing
For the drovers and their horses were upcountry shooting roos.
The townsfolk stood on corners like a bunch of weary mourners
With little left to talk about unless you had the knack,
When Whitey Farinelli, who ran the local deli
Came a-hollering he’d seen a distant dust trail down the track.
Old Albert danced to bust ‘em, thinking he would get some custom
With all those hustlin’ drovers needing buckles, spurs and shoes,
And all the wives and mothers and the young girls and their brothers
Came running out to greet them and to hear the bushmen’s news.
As they waited to receive them ~ did their eyes perchance deceive them?
For the dust cloud yielded nothing but a funny-looking beast.
The whole town then fell silent, for fear it might get violent,
And Marty James ran helter-skelter calling for the Priest.
No one dared to try and stop it, for a man was perched atop it
With the broadest grin you ever could have seen and that’s no lie.
In a style that took all beating, he doffed his hat in greeting,
And announced to all and sundry that he’d travelled from Versailles.
He spun them quite a yarn as they led him to a barn
In which they said his beast could spend the night if he’d the mind.
(Poor Albert looked defeated, and he went home feeling cheated
For that beast wasn’t sporting shoes of any shape or kind.)
Long lashes framed each eye upon a head held very high,
And its furry feet stepped silently along the stony track.
Its legs were very long and it gave off quite a pong,
But the oddest thing about it was the hump upon its back.
The next day’s morning glory brings the twist in this here story,
For man and beast had quit the town with takings from the bank ~
He’d tied up Fred McKenny and then stolen every penny
Leaving townsfolk feeling outraged at this cruel, abhorrent prank.
But nature lent a hand divine and bushes covered up the sign
That showed this heartless stranger where the next town truly lay,
And the midday sun was hellish with its unrelenting relish
As they wandered into nowhere for a fortnight and a day.
T’was over three weeks later when Ted Rolls and Arnie Slater
Were busy mending fences on the Whip Creek pasture land,
When to their great surprise they saw a pair of long-lashed eyes
In the dappled midday shadows of a River Wattle stand.
Ted’s first thought was to flee, but young Arnie went to see
Just what it was that lingered there and spied upon them so.
He grabbed himself a stick, which was sturdy, long and thick
And in he went ~ though what he’d find, he really didn’t know.
As Ted stood safely in the clear he saw young Arnie reappear
And he led a beast behind him that they both had seen before.
It was looking mighty thin and its cheeks were all drawn in
And it limped a bit and looked as though its feet were very sore.
(No one knew until much later what became of that old traitor
When the drovers heading homeward saw a pile of bones bleached-white.
They’d come from old man Hammil, who had lost a purebred camel
To a bounder of a swagman late last summer in a fight).
They led the creature back to town just as the waning sun went down.
Triumphantly they called to all to see what they had found.
And as the crowd then gathered round the poor beast as it slathered,
Its saddlebags so round and full slid off and hit the ground.
Then out poured all their money, like a stream of golden honey
And the townsfolk celebrated like they’d never done before.
They took that poor old beast, and prepared for it a feast
In honour of it coming back and settling their score.
Camels were introduced into the Australian outback in 1866. It is highly feasible that no-one who had lived in a remote outback town had ever seen one before, and this is the assumption upon which I have based this tale.
In a list
A contest entry
- Celebrating Gold by Cupcrazy.
1400 points, ended May 13, 2008, 39 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - TELL ME A STORY; SING ME A BALLAD by CelticQueen.
1500 points, ended February 3, 11 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Tell us the story (In rhyme) by cricketjeff.
3500 points, ended March 28, 67 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - prewrites & critiques by aeolia.
400 points, ended September 12, 87 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Grab your cowboy hats, boots and spurs. It's time for a rodeo! by ASmileForYou.
1050 points, ended July 24, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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Very slpendidly written! A great short story with vivid imagery and a great plot. Thank you for entering this great poem!
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A very fine poem in the Aussie bush tradition. A nice plot twist with camel. I didn't see it coming.
Good luck in the contest and happy trails.
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You have always been amongst the best humourous poets around and this is rught up there, wonderful story beautifully told, in most contests I have judged this would be gold but the standard here is the highest Sue and I have ever encountered, thank-you for the wonderful entry and congrats on the HM
Jeff and Sue
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unusual tale
Original tale of Australia, camels to boot with loot..
and they do celebrate loudly ....great stuff..
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Congrats on both of the trophies this piece got you! This was a great tale! Thanks so much for the share and good in the contest!
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I recall reading this before I loved it then and my mind has not been changed since i did If anything i love it more Good luck in the contest
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How incredibly delightful! Your rhyme and rhythm were just grand! Thanks for entering my contest. This is what it's about!
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This is very well written, and took much thought, I can tell.
It's not really...deep...the way my contest requires..but still a great write!
Good luck!~ -
this is a very well written story indeed, you made me feel as if I was there in the town with them, and I felt their anger and their humour when the camel was bought back! Ah, we are too welcoming us Aussies 
- this is a fantastic poem!
♦ M
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Thanks for the read, i really enjoyed the use of meter and the typical Aussie tale. Well done.
i just found line 18 to be awkward, not that breaks the meter, its simply an abberation in flow which the reader expects to find.
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Absolutely beautiful write, spellbinding story, impeccable rhythm and rhyme, I do not know why this has no trophies on it, seems impossible to me that anyone could not see the perfection of this piece. Loved it, hugs, Bunny
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This is an excellent write. Wonderful rhyming and flow. Best wishes and thank you for entering.
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"As they waited to receive them ~ did their eyes perchance deceive them?" I like the way this just rolls off the tongue! The entire write is wonderful. It holds the reader from word to word. Thank you for entering; this was a delight to read.
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oh my word!
I am so pleased that Tim's amazing painting inspired such a journey of Muse...
the rhyme here is splendid and very well done...
the storyline is captivating...
this is excellent and impressive penning!
thank you for sharing your time and talent with us!
Blessings! Tammy
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This is deeply profound, moving in its ingenuity and complexity of the whole poem. I felt a burst of imagination flowing through these lines. The poem is so lyrical that it could really go well with music! I think anyways. At first I was going to skip this poem because it appeared long and I don't normally like poems that are rigidly complex but don't give anything back to the reader. This gave a lot back to me, and I felt I would have been sorry if I hadn't read it. I HAVE to read more of your poetry!
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Well if you don't win this humps-sorry-hands down-I'll turn into a camel!!
BRILLIANT babes!!
xxx Hilly
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Excellent very Banjo Paterson I love this type of story poetry give the reader something to get their teeth into Fabulous good luck in the contest
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Brilliant Lou!!! You know my love for bush ballads and this one is superb!!! Congrats on bringing the bush to AP one more time Love, C
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Absolutely brilliant! This is a superbly constructed and visual yarn Lou. I'm sure it will be a huge hit with your audiences.
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Well, this is a saga!
Your camel story is kind of mixed up with bushranging. This is an enormous and successful effort. Maintaining rhyme, story and humour for so long.... Gimlee will not be the same again now!
As well as the narrative, there are several quite memorable lines.
"The townsfolk stood on corners like a bunch of weary mourners" is a lovely line with internal rhyme and a very accurate simile.
I do not know why, but this is my favourite stanza:
"T’was over three weeks later when Ted Rolls and Arnie Slater
Were busy mending fences on the Whip Creek pasture land,
When to their great surprise they saw a pair of long-lashed eyes
In the dappled midday shadows of a River Wattle stand."I think it is due to my recognising the Australia I grew up in ~ my father mending fences and the late winter blooming wattle. And, the names of locals. We knew a couple of Arnies and my Dad was "Ted".
Thanks,. Lou, for the humpy ride! Ron.
PS The orange of the sunset of the semi-desert Outback and the orange of River Wattle after full bloom are written so well to the picture prompt. [The camel is a dirty kind of nondescript orange as well ~ the Afghan camels that is. ]
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