Some time ago
I woke up
LOST inside darkened reality faded by the loss of time and hope.
LOST outside of her silk petals, outside her silver chains.
LOST inside my Love and Lust.
Immersed by the cherry clots that fell from my mouth.
I woke up
LONELY as a stray can be with nothing but an eroding memory as a friend.
LONELY wishing for some one to leash my neck and mind.
LONELY counting day after day.
Deserted by the blood lost happiness.
I woke up
HUNGRY for emotion, life, and the scent of a dead flower.
HUNGRY for the thrill of the stem to pierce my side.
HUNGRY for the feel of her petals inside my heart.
Lacking the bloodsucker roots that clung to my veins.
I woke up
A bloodless stray
What do you think?
Comments
-
Welcome to allpoetry
The use of formatting, refrain and structure all set the stage well for your words. The emotion and imagery of this are well done. Good flow and rhythm.
I encourage you to keep writing to read and comemnt.
God Bless
Tammy
Site Greeter -
i wasnt so fond of the repetition and the capitalization. i wish you hadnt needed to rely on them to get the point across.
-
I love the constant capitilization of certain words. Very interesting poem you have here. I really like the last line. "A bloodless stray" It helps with making the poem interesting to read. I liked this. Keep writing stuff like this and I will be a constant reader of you poetry.
Adding your comment:
