I've been over you for a long time,
but you're still the voice in my head
raping my dreams again and again...
ravaging every waking moment with your evil,
I have become your lie; your vile sweetness,
sickeningly sinister, sticks knives in my gut,
and I'll be content to return the favour.
So scream at me, tell me that I asked for it,
though your absurdities fall upon deaf ears
for you cannot hurt me anymore.
I feel sorry for the poor woman
under your s p e l l, for you don't deserve her;
Unlike me, she is too weak to leave you.
But one day, they'll unmask you, as I have,
remove the painted facade, revealing
pure ugliness, in its most hideous form.
I'll force-feed you your own poison,
memories of us lodging themselves in your throat,
and no spoonful of sugar to wash the acid down,
I hope you eat those words,
choke on that fucking silver spoon,
&& drown in your own bile; you disgust me.
If you can find a miracle drug,
to erase the year I wasted on you,
then I might forgive you after all.
Author notes
Laura, aka Immortal Obscurity
"Forever"
For my creepy stalker ex-boyfriend, who sucks! I have a hunch he's cheating on his girlfriend, and I'm just glad it's not me he's hurting anymore.
Inspired by two songs:
+ "The Last Song I'm Wasting On You", by Amy Lee, and
+ "Anything But Love", by Apocalyptica/Cristina Scabbia
Artist credit: "Dark at Tombstone" by Apocalyptic Prodigy at deviant ART.
In a list
A contest entry
- Get It Uffing Out Already ! by Candyknife.
800 points, ended April 10, 2008, 20 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - GOT GOLD? Calling all single silvers..... by Paloszoo.
700 points, ended November 13, 2008, 41 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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simply chilling.
but also, so so strong. for having left him.
just fantastic.
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Nicely done in an emotional way! Thanks for entering my contest. I'm honored to have you share your work here. Good luck!
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very good. i kno this feeling well. knowing he doesn't desreve his new girlfriend and hating him
very nice -
I think this is very nice, it's dark and yet real. I love the picture at the beginning, it's very cool.
" and no spoonful of sugar to wash the acid down,
I hope you eat those words,
choke on that fucking silver spoon,
&& drown in your own bile; you disgust me "
^My favorite lines, they're perfectly bitter and twisted.
Lovely read, thanks for the link! Well deserving that Silver trophy
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Be glad that you're out of that relationship! LOL! i hope the jerk gets what he deserves. thanks for the entry!
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Nice - full of emotion and visuals - Best of luck to you on that upgrade!
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great poem
i like this one the title is awesome great flow and everything in this piece is amazing truely amazing.
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this is great! sounds like you've been through a lot but you're so strong and you've brought yourself out of it. i love your attitude towards your ex boyfriend, so keep it up, hun! great write.
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"If you can find a miracle drug,
to erase the year I wasted on you,
then I might forgive you after all"
Fucking amazing stanza thing dude
good poem and good luck -
holy monkey
very very powerful
i loved the intensity very dark and with purpose
he last line was just perfect
im very pleased with this
but you do have a typo on the last line of the 7th stanza
'bile' ?
ty for sharing
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Thank you
Oh, and 'bile' is a word... It means 'vomit'...
Pleasant, no? You may have been thinking 'vile', like 'disgusting'... But no, bile is a word Anyway, thanks again!
♥
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This is excellent. Very well written indeed. I particulary love the last stanza..
If you can find a miracle drug,
to erase the year I wasted on you,
then I might forgive you after all.
I can't relate well to this for a previous relationship
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I love this and the way you described him especially the absurdity's and stalking made me think you were talking about my ex. You had me pulled in completely fantastic write / but ahh yes your not on my fav' list for nothing , Storm
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incredible!..this is beautifully written..oh i know just how you feel.I'll force-feed you your own poison,
memories of us lodging themselves in your throat,
and no spoonful of sugar to wash the acid down,
this is magnificent imagery -
laura.....i totally praise u on this one
"I feel sorry for the poor woman
under your s p e l l, for you don't deserve her;
Unlike me, she is too weak to leave you.
But one day, they'll unmask you, as I have,
remove the painted facade, revealing
pure ugliness, in its most hideous form."
my favorite bit of the poem.
Nice job. Congrats
(f)~Love~(f)
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