breath escapes my chest, air-
condensed in my lungs, but released-
tempted by the freedom of the abyss.
holding on, fails-the child,
coddled-will never face life
for it's tragic nature, nor it's
beauty.
street lights smeared by rain,
clouded in the dark pitch of the night-
lamps off, just the silent colored
glow in the distance.
blocked, mentally thoughts appear-
chopped-jagged,
unable to analyze, or process-
just words, jumbled in the midst
of chaos. myself.
my lover speaks to my needs,
and although rugged, there's a
loveliness to be seen, behind the
torn pieces and edges frayed with
time.
I cannot form rational thoughts, just
an encompassing loneliness and a longing.
pessmimism is what I see in the mirror, along
with a decaying smile. and your laugh
is still playing so
goddamned loud
in my ear, each time my brain tries to make
sense of this senselessness. tears feel
amazing, knowing the emotion felt, rare,
usually lost with all the learning I've done.
logical. focused. steady on a path towards
order. straying from meaning.
Author notes
...it's been a while.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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This is good! The descriptiveness of how one feels that is overwhelmed and taken over by untamed emotions and confusion. Well said; and the imagery is breath-taking. I so felt the loss-of-control in your words, and the longing to find some grounding - any grounding. The ending displays the ground that one tries so desperately to find - the road from chaos!
Yet, one can't help but wonder, if that leads one to the truth; as you state; "straying from meaning."
One can't help but think this - is true meaning to be found in chaos? I think it is the submission to chaos and then the reforming of new truths through "logic and focus" that may lead one to greater meaning.
Like you say so eloquently in the beginning of your write;
"holding on, fails-the child,
coddled-will never face life
for it's tragic nature, nor it's
beauty."
It is the spiraling in and out of both that gives one new revelations. (I think). To stay in either for too long is to either stagnate (order) or get permanently blown away (chaos).
Brilliant write and very thought provoking... You should put this in a contest. It is a winner!
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