I could see once, now I am blind. I could hear once, now i am deaf. I could speak once, now I am a mute. If only I could see her face, hear her voice, or speak her name. She crippled me, and now I can't live.
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Amazing emotion, powerful words. What I would very much like to see, however, is a change in format.
"I could see once,
Now I am blind.
I could hear once,
Now I am deaf.
I could speak once,
Now I am (a) mute.
If only I could see her face,
Hear her voice,
(Or) speak her name.
She crippled me,
And now I can't live."
Try formatting it like that; it helps keep the reader on track. (The words in parenthesis--if removed--would help the flow of the piece immensely.)
Nice job on this.
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