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amber petals

Slowly... my fire dwindles down
all is left is amber petals
peeled from passions' blooming flower

soft breath of his voice
whispers upon florid coal

flame roars
as my soul calls
for your undying winds

to feed my wilting buds
to ignite my perishing embers



oh... please....
breathe one more time...

Author notes

I know this is not that short... But, It's how I've been feeling lately...

=[

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • artis
    April 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    ahhh, that empty ache, that searing want, bodies strain towards what cannot be, only air awaits them and memories,

    a distant blur does not have arms to hold, lips to press, only the only of loneliness remains. I have known such fervent want, it haunted me until another chose to share the amber capsule of my world with her timeless petals floating round the center of my being.
    great write~~Artis


  • thepoeticone
    April 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I like this , I thought it connected to the picture , I like the beginning it caught my attention, I like the meaning too, good luck

  • Ms.Anthropic
    April 2, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I like the way it ends...

  • ecrivain01
    March 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Not a bad job ...

    but you might want to fix this:

    pealed (peeled) from passions' blooming flower

    and this:

    breath (breathe) one more time...

    otherwise, good job.


    • Perception
      March 27, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks! I really appreciate you pointing out my errors...

      ~ I'd never notice them myself... I'm just not good at that type of thing

      Really! Thanks a ton!


  • Lowell Poe
    March 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    My dear one,
    Thank you so much for reading so much of my work,
    your insight is very valued.
    I just really like this one.
    If I were to paint this piece,
    it would be of two gypsy lovers by their campfire.
    Glowing lights in their caravans under magic moon light.
    So good ya got me dreamin....lol

    BLESSINGS,
    LOWELL POE


  • Elenaliz
    March 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    thanks for commenting on me earlier.i was suprised to see you liked it.that means a lot,yr a hard judge,but i like that.i always appreciate yr comments.but any way, this poem is beautiful.your whole writing style is beautiful.i havent read all your poems but as i think back on the ones i have read they all gave me a tranquil feeling.your descriptions are so...tender.this is short but says so much.packed w/ emotion you really condense your words.quality,not quantity.

1 - 7 of 7