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the duration of hands

 

 

 

I do not love you as if you were air,
or water, or the kite
that makes the night wind visible.
I love you as mountains, layered
one upon the other
– nothing alters their shape.

I love you as the colossi of the plains,
the tree God planted upside-down
so that all can see the strength
of its roots, alive like a heart,

like a hand.  Everywhere

stands as a Baobab
your name.

My love for you is big, like a house –
every crack and sigh call it out.
There isn't a door
that does not swing open
at your slightest touch,
not a room that isn’t looking
for you.

 

I love you with hands

that I lay upon the earth,

and press against a savannah of trees

and these walls;
they are small hands,
but this too,

I know:

the fingers that move mountains

inside me,  that make my hips sing

until they float, light as moths

among the branches,  


and in every room
comb the pale-pink light

of morning
through my hair,

belong to your hands.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

For Guy (grm) – inspired by his poem “the sum of hands” - http://allpoetry.com/poem/4002053

Baobab = Also called the “upside-down” tree. According to African folk tales it was planted upside-down by God, with its roots in the air.

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 99 of 106     1 2  next >  (show all)

  • Swan song gold member
    July 5

    Edit | Reply
    Simply stunning You are a placid pool one can drink from and no matter what will always thirst again.
    When it comes to poetry that is a good thing.


  • Night Hope gold member
    June 7

    Edit | Reply
    "I do not love you as if you were air,
    or water, or the kite
    that makes the night wind visible.
    I love you as mountains, layered
    one upon the other
    – nothing alters their shape."

    You know I love you & everything you write, Nicolette; it's hardly a secret. Ahhh, but do you know how much I admire you, how often I am inspired by your sweet songs of life & love? Thank you for gracing us all with your words, my dear Friend. Thank you for entering my contest. Good luck, Sweetie. Vlindertjie

    (tries to applaud again, hoping the webserver won't notice)

    It noticed, dammit.




  • Mad Moon silver member
    June 3

    Edit | Reply
    Speechless....again, as you often leave me with your words.I'm overwhelmed by this one, dear one. Yet another favorite poem by you.
    Exquisite!


  • Allyce May
    June 2

    Edit | Reply
    Sighhhhh, I always come and read this when I need some love inspiration! I'm trying DESPERATELY to write something to this effect myself, but it's useless - I can't even get a line out. Why do words have to be so insufficient?! I need to steal your brain for a day


    • Nicolette gold member
      June 2
      Edit | Reply
      Would be fun to exchange brains for a day or two and to live in each other's heads - might be VERY interesting (then I can act as if I'm only 20 - wow.... what a thought!!!) PLUS I'll be able to write like you do, Allyce

  • Birgitte silver member
    May 21

    Edit | Reply
    oh! this will definitely be bookmarked! I loved everything in this piece. It felt very honest, and I felt like I was dragged into a dream of love. Very special!

  • Nicolette gold member
    April 9

    Edit | Reply

    <

    ...i was inspired...by your hands, liefie!!



    love you, my Guy

  • MariGoes gold member
    April 6

    Edit | Reply
    I know I have read this one before, not sure if I commented, and will be hard to find out if I did or not in that see of comments you got here.
    Nothing I can say that hasn't been already said here.
    Will just let you know (maybe again) that I love it!

    'There isn't a door
    that does not swing open
    at your slightest touch,
    not a room that isn’t looking
    for you'

    Absolutely wonderful verse!

  • soulfultia gold member
    April 2

    Edit | Reply
    Simply beautiful, flowing lines and imagery capture the reader taking me on a wonderous journey through your words. Excellent! ~Tia


    • Nicolette gold member
      April 3
      Edit | Reply
      Tia!! Hi - where have you been? . Thank you - great to see you again.

  • xoPJ
    April 2

    Edit | Reply
    This is an enduring work, your soul's vision and expression are aligned with great voices, whose words invoke authentic connections. This image, I think my favorite, "I love you as mountains, layered
    one upon the other – nothing alters their shape." Thanks, Nicolette, much applause.


    • Nicolette gold member
      April 3
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for the kind comment. Glad you enjoyed this one

  • HeLovesMeNot
    April 1

    Edit | Reply
    It reminded me of one of my fav poems by Pablo Neruda. The syntax and diction are fabulous as usual. When I saw your name I knew it was going to be a great poem an dit was. you are a wonderful poet Nicolette, how do you do it? Would applaud but you have several already.

    I do not love you as if you were air,
    or water, or the kite
    that makes the night wind visible.
    I love you as mountains, layered
    one upon the other
    – nothing alters their shape.


  • I really enjoyed this poem and you wrote it very well, I like it alot. Good work.

  • Elle Kaye
    March 31
    Edit | Reply
    I really liked this, It was a rather interesting read. Beautiful imagrey, Nice job!

    ~Lolly.

  • ml12
    March 31
    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful imagery. My heart is beating and I am in awe. Fantastic and beautiful.


  • CountryCousin
    March 31

    Edit | Reply

    Well now.

    The pull to read this piece was strong, so I clicked on it. I found a very good piece, one that even the masters themselves would envy. Certainly there is nothing that I dislike and everything to like.
  • Wonderful

    This is amazing. I very much enjoyed reading it. ^_^


  • IntoWildSoul
    March 31

    Edit | Reply
    let my hands tell you
    what words fail to
    love you as mountains
    and not as wind
    which my hands can't hold
    I love you as the grain of sand
    and its infinity
    Nice one .....

  • wow

    wow thts mostly my thought on this piece it is amazing and truely well put togather thank you for sharing with us this inspirational piece its style and my love life mixed inspired one of my newest poem "the five sences of love" if you want to check it out the style is simualar to yours simply because your poem inspired another poem i wrote and i thank you for sharing because your poem is simply amazing

    truely well writen

    poetic lover
  • Kalamina
    March 31
    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful and original imagery. Each phrase worked with the others, a very enjoyable read.

  • I just love that first stanza--the constancy, the immutability of a beautiful love. The contrast you have made between the fluid wind and water and the steadfast mountain was perfect!

    Loved the house imagery and the amazing tree. A really fantastic poem!

    . Rewarded 6


  • EvilKate gold member
    March 31

    Edit | Reply
    We have a winner in my view - though I do hope that doesn't jinx things. It has a real feel of Neruda, interwoven with yourself. The kite metaphor did it all for me - that single fragment is a poem by itself.

    Bookmarked


  • Dorie
    March 31

    Edit | Reply

    Wow

    This is an excellent poem. I like it, especially the imagery. I like the way you play with words
    ......the fingers that move mountains inside me," shows how love makes the impossible seem possible.
  • so simple, yet so beautiful and it has such a "wow" factor to it. i like this.


  • Jaden silver member
    March 30
    Edit | Reply
    Yep. Spoken like a tried and true blue Capricorn.


    • Nicolette gold member
      March 31
      Edit | Reply
      Trust a Capricorn to deliver the goods, lolol! Thanks, Jaden

  • Suzanne Dia gold member
    March 30

    Edit | Reply


    This is so bookmarked..
    This goes up with my favorite Neruda poem.

    Beautiful


  • Yemassee silver member
    March 30

    Edit | Reply
    Believe it or not (and why wouldn't you, lol) the line I probably like best is one that most might pass by:

    My love for you is big, like a house –

    Sometimes (probably usually) simplicity expresses far more than ideas that need to be filtered through intellectual seines. The line is immediate, expressive, and simple, but in a naturalistic way.

    It's of course earthy, the poem I mean, which says as much about the recipient as it does the love the poem expresses.

    The word "imbued" pops into my head when reading this...no I don't get odd seizures, your poem expresses that...love surrounding, permeating, encompassing.

    And of course the poem is written with beauty and an understanding of the power of words, tones, expressions.

    Madam MariGoes has in the past suggested I read a poem of yours and of course I've seen your name here and there on different poets so when I saw your name on the whatever the front page is called I clicked.

    One question and I'm sure it's just something I don't understand:

    or water, or the kite
    that makes the night wind visible.

    Rain, ok, but I'm not sure how a kite makes the night wind visible, maybe I'm looking at it to literally?

    But anyway, it was beautiful, and more than that, impressive.


    • Nicolette gold member
      March 31
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you to you, and Mari . Loved you comment, and about the "kite that makes the night wind visible"... we can't see the wind, but we can see the colour and the movements of the kite...see? That's what I meant. Thank you for the kind words and the visit!
  • Wow...awesome poem. I especially liked the imagery of the moths in the branches, and how that tied back in with the upside down tree from earlier in the poem.

  • Mark Rickerby gold member
    March 30
    Edit | Reply
    Gorgeous poem. Thanks to Nicolette and the person who featured it. This is poetry.


  • Serene
    March 30

    Edit | Reply

    Wonderfully Worded!

    Your piece is packed with beautiful images of how the speaker in this piece is swayed from the subtle ways of one that brings so much emotions to the surface. Imagery is so wonderfully worded, very beautifully worded piece, which I really enjoyed yet another artistic piece!!

    Rena~

  • Beautiful

    This is a multi-layered poem of great power and emotion. It has so many references that one can relate to while reading it, and that creates deep feelings and flashes a constant reel of imagery. Excellent! ~Peace~Gar

  • Rowan gold member
    March 29

    Edit | Reply

    More deserving of spotlight. If you don't know her work, then you're truly missing a book on your shelf.
    Not only a talented person, but a talented heart.
    Love ya Nicolette.
    Pen on.

    Kathleen

  • ladame
    March 29
    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful and gentle and clever - I enjoyed reading this; thank you for sharing it.


  • Allyce May
    March 29
    Edit | Reply
    Ooooo! You're in the spotlight! Where you belong

  • TearsHurt
    March 29
    Edit | Reply

    sweet

    you're such a great poet. it's different and unique. i loved it

  • Wydra
    March 29
    Edit | Reply

    the best!

    u r an awesome poet! the figurative language is unique and descriptive! u have a style all ur own!

  • mwilson50
    March 29

    Edit | Reply

    Beautiful

    A different take indeed. I like the comparisons to a house, and to the mountains (solidity) as opposed to air, wind (temporary, permeable). Very nice, if only more of us could experience a love like that *smile*

  • whoopie.x
    March 29

    Edit | Reply

    GREAT

    I loved your poem. That was just genius. There was nothing wrong with your poem I absoluty loved it. When you have time please check out some of my poems and please tell me what I need to work on. Thank you. BRAVO

  • EarthToJim
    March 29

    Edit | Reply

    Oh boy

    In large part, I agree with all the accolades heretofore bestowed, but if there was one line that could possibly stand an edit, it would be:

    My love for you is big, like a house –

    I like where you go with the idea with the doors and rooms, but houses are not universally big... some quite small, actually.

    My love for you could, fill the largest house –

    puts things in a perspective that forces one to consider how many rooms and doors the largest house might have.

    I feel like I have just pointed out a flaw in the Book of Genesis... forgive me.

    Jim


    • Nicolette gold member
      March 29
      Edit | Reply
      Lol Jim, you are forgiven Of course there are small houses... I just like to think of this one as BIG and spacious! Thank you for the lovely comment.

  • carole21
    March 29

    Edit | Reply

    very nice

    very nice love write . . liked "I love you as mountains" and "comb the pale-pink light of morning through my hair" . . nice ending . . good luck in the contest . .


  • Winklings gold member
    March 29

    Edit | Reply

    In modern verse

    this poem is as beautiful as, say, E Barrett Browning's sonnet, "How do I love thee?"
    Indeed, the poem should be lauded as belonging to such company by this significant world poet we have here at Allpoetry, in my humble opinion.
    I have re-read this several times and I have not changed my opinion a jot.
    Passion, beauty, simplicity, sensuousness ... all excellently welded.
    Do not touch a letter. Absolutely wonderful.

    Perhaps one of the top 20 poems of this century, lyrically.

    Lyndon of the Winklings.


    • Nicolette gold member
      March 29
      Edit | Reply
      Ron.... now you have me speechless, my friend from down under - wow!!! Thank you so much. I think I'm going to frame your comment and keep it as a butterfly for days when I need to remember that every now and then I write something worthwhile!!

  • Tennessee-Joe silver member
    March 29

    Edit | Reply

    WoW

    I wish I could write a perfect poem such as this one, and add at the end-still editing.lol It's done-it's perfect-amazing-awesome-& well down right good.
    Joe


  • Lucy. gold member
    March 29
    Edit | Reply
    Very moving, touching, honest emotion.

  • TheNymph
    March 28
    Edit | Reply
    wow this is stunning. a true testimony to love. i was very moved reading it

  • jacke
    March 28

    Edit | Reply

    wow

    the title is very eye catching..
    reading your poem i felt myself imagining being the author- it feels like a love that every girl dreams of...

    . Rewarded 4

  • What beautiful verse, such honesty of expression and emotion demonstrate the maturity of a love grown sure of itself. Unashamed passion and sensuality combined with the steadiness of deeper love, captured perfectly by the metaphor of the baobab tree.
    'My love for you is big, like a house -
    every crack and sigh call it out'

    . Rewarded 6


  • RedAquarius
    March 28

    Edit | Reply
    This is simply the best love poem I've read in quite a long while. Unique and without cliche, it is vulnerable yet strong in its declaration. I am bookmarking. Thank you for the joy of reading this.

    . Rewarded 4

  • Justin3
    March 28

    Edit | Reply
    The form of this poem is amazing, and the words just jump out of the page to dance near the fire of grace.Great work!

  • Nicolette gold member
    March 28
    Edit | Reply

    <

    lolol, liefie....look again - not so many changes to your poem!

    if i didn't know you better i could have sworn you're in love or something

    love you, my man



  • lilAj
    March 26
    Edit | Reply

    *shock*

    WOW Nicolette, this is just ... wow
    I've got to collect myself
    lol



  • MariGoes gold member
    March 26
    Edit | Reply
    You know, your love poems are the perfect ode to love!
    I wish I could pick a line or even stanza and say 'that is my favourite', but here it's just impossible. Your verses are so well entwined that there are no parts, but a just a beautiful whole.
    Wonderful!

    Mari


  • Allyce May
    March 25
    Edit | Reply
    ARGH, I love it! The ending is breathtaking! Okay, okay, I'm going!

  • Allyce May
    March 25
    Edit | Reply
    It's me again! Just wanted to feel my insides churn and my heart punch its way out of my chest

    • Nicolette gold member
      March 26
      Edit | Reply
      Wow Allyce - and how you have stirred my leaves, woman!! I'm SO happy that you loved this poem so much as if means a lot to me - the poem, the inspiration behind it (and you know who that is) and the fact that I could stir your leaves too!!

      Thanks, dear Allyce. I'll be looking out for that love poem of yours!!!


  • Allyce May
    March 25
    Edit | Reply
    "the tree God planted upside-down
    so that all can see the strength
    of its roots, alive like a heart,
    like a hand"

    Just wow. THIS, is the ultimate love poem. Perfect. Sometimes, I think the feeling of love is so big I wonder how the universe can contain it. This shows how deep love can submerge itself, become every day objects until the universe does not have to hold love, but instead becomes it.

    I want to write a love poem now! Magical Nicolette, this touched me


  • inder silver member
    March 25

    Edit | Reply

    hand crafted perfection!

    some gorgeous metaphors,rooted depth and carefree flight all in one flowing silken weave of thoughts.well done as always,a treat!


  • Lyrical Soul silver member
    March 24

    Edit | Reply
    I have no words pretty enough to express this. This is beyond beautiful my vriendin.

    ~Lyrical


  • Jersene silver member
    March 24

    Edit | Reply
    Stunning! Breath taking...I'm really at a loss for words. Reminds me I must get on this site more often

  • voices
    March 24

    Edit | Reply
    your hands
    pull at my breath
    mold clay of my thoughts
    open doors to inspiration
    your hands
    can lead me away
    on a thread
    thin and soft as
    a newborns hair
    your hands



    thank you.
    peace, Darin.


  • Shannon
    March 24

    Edit | Reply
    wow. I was going to attempt to write something kind of along these lines tonight...sort of this all-encompassing love that is not necesarily ever explored and yet, is still there, still present for another...but, man. After reading this I don't know if I want to even try! haha. But seriously, just gorgeous. Every image is breathtaking.

    However, I do feel like it ends rather quickly. Somewhere around stanza 4 and 5 there seems to be a shift of tone almost...and then it wraps up...albeit very well, but still, it does feel a bit different. Maybe you could linger a bit more and figure out if the poem wants to expand or say more...just a small suggestion.

    But overall, it really is quite stunning.

    Your poems always leave me feeling like there's something very elemental missing in my life...passion. And it's not like passion in general is missing, because I am an extremely passionate person...but perhaps I miss sharing it with others in a more...physical form/expression. sigh.


    • Nicolette gold member
      March 25
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you - also for making me think. Your comment also reminded me of one of my favourite sayings: "There is only one passion, the infinite passion of life" - and I do find that in your work - but yes, it is the physical expession that at times get to us!!
  • Victory Gin
    March 24

    Edit | Reply
    Nice. This poem has a psalm quality to it, but it seems more natural and less tortured than anything David could have mustered. Who needs David anyway when we have Nicolette.


  • katfair
    March 24

    Edit | Reply
    I love arms and hand poems
    that touch me in so many ways as yours do.....

    A potent image for being in life....
    I think of two other wonderful women poets

    A line from a poem called Daily

    "The hands are churches that worship the world."

    ~ Naomi Shihab Nye ~

    and Mary Oliver's

    My hands touch the lilies
    then withdraw;

    my hands touch the blue iris
    then withdraw;

    and I say, not easily but carefully--
    the words round in the mouth, crisp on the tongue--

    dirt, mud, stars, water--
    I know you as if you were myself.

    How could I be afraid?

    EXCERPT FROM Gravel

    and I float and sink through you whole poem=
    but especially the ending

    but this too,
    I know:

    the fingers that move mountains
    inside me, that make my hips sing
    until they float, light as moths
    among the branches,

    and in every room
    comb the pale-pink light
    of morning
    through my hair,

    belong to your hands.

    bravo


    • xoPJ
      April 2
      Edit | Reply

      re: Nicolette's poem

      Bravo, I agree; and to you also for including these other powerful, poetic words of women. "Worshipping ... No fear ... Knowing ... Belonging" This is the stuff of endurance. I also enjoyed Nicolette's
      "I love you as mountains, layered
      one upon the other – nothing alters their shape."

    • Nicolette gold member
      March 24
      Edit | Reply
      Your comments are always poetic, always so very beautiful!! I just love Mary Oliver's poetry and the one you've quoted here just explain why. Yes, I love hands in poetry - and I've always been a lover of arms too, lol...guess that is why I love trees and branches and leaves in poetry too.

      Thank you so much - you are a star!!

  • Namita silver member
    March 24

    Edit | Reply
    ... beautiful...

    ps - you two are the best... but y'know that my jerk boy and i are better

    - namita