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the duration of hands

 

 

 

I do not love you as if you were air,
or water, or the kite
that makes the night wind visible.
I love you as mountains, layered
one upon the other
– nothing alters their shape.

I love you as the colossi of the plains,
the tree God planted upside-down
so that all can see the strength
of its roots, alive like a heart,

like a hand.  Everywhere

stands as a Baobab
your name.

My love for you is big, like a house –
every crack and sigh call it out.
There isn't a door
that does not swing open
at your slightest touch,
not a room that isn’t looking
for you.

 

I love you with hands

that I lay upon the earth,

press against a savannah of trees

and these walls;
they are small hands,
but this too,

I know:

the fingers that move mountains

inside me,  that make my hips sing

until they float, light as moths

among the branches,  


and in every room
comb the pale-pink light

of morning
through my hair,

belong to your hands.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

inspired by & in response to grm's poem “the sum of hands”

Baobab = Also called the “upside-down” tree. According to African folk tales it was planted upside-down by God, with its roots in the air.

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Comments

1 - 99 of 102     1 2  next >  (show all)
  • Virgoan
    October 19

    Edit | Reply
    Just re-reading this wonderful poem

  • Rowan gold member
    June 21

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    oh crap...
    I just entered a poem in your contest, and now I'm thinkin, shite. This is what I was trying to say...

    *bows and quietly exits the room*


  • BehindTheShadow
    September 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is amazing, and I love that I also got to learn a little folklore. Best wishes, I will probally be back for this one.


  • Malabu
    September 28, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    l love this poem like the air i breathe

    mal


  • Swan song gold member
    July 5, 2008

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    Simply stunning You are a placid pool one can drink from and no matter what will always thirst again.
    When it comes to poetry that is a good thing.


  • Night Hope gold member
    June 7, 2008

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    "I do not love you as if you were air,
    or water, or the kite
    that makes the night wind visible.
    I love you as mountains, layered
    one upon the other
    – nothing alters their shape."

    You know I love you & everything you write, Nicolette; it's hardly a secret. Ahhh, but do you know how much I admire you, how often I am inspired by your sweet songs of life & love? Thank you for gracing us all with your words, my dear Friend. Thank you for entering my contest. Good luck, Sweetie. Vlindertjie

    (tries to applaud again, hoping the webserver won't notice)

    It noticed, dammit.




  • Mad Moon silver member
    June 3, 2008

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    Speechless....again, as you often leave me with your words.I'm overwhelmed by this one, dear one. Yet another favorite poem by you.
    Exquisite!


  • Allyce May gold member
    June 2, 2008

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    Sighhhhh, I always come and read this when I need some love inspiration! I'm trying DESPERATELY to write something to this effect myself, but it's useless - I can't even get a line out. Why do words have to be so insufficient?! I need to steal your brain for a day

    • Nicolette gold member
      June 2, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Would be fun to exchange brains for a day or two and to live in each other's heads - might be VERY interesting (then I can act as if I'm only 20 - wow.... what a thought!!!) PLUS I'll be able to write like you do, Allyce


  • Beating gold member
    May 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    oh! this will definitely be bookmarked! I loved everything in this piece. It felt very honest, and I felt like I was dragged into a dream of love. Very special!


  • Mari Goes gold member
    April 6, 2008

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    I know I have read this one before, not sure if I commented, and will be hard to find out if I did or not in that see of comments you got here.
    Nothing I can say that hasn't been already said here.
    Will just let you know (maybe again) that I love it!

    'There isn't a door
    that does not swing open
    at your slightest touch,
    not a room that isn’t looking
    for you'

    Absolutely wonderful verse!


  • soulfultia gold member
    April 2, 2008

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    Simply beautiful, flowing lines and imagery capture the reader taking me on a wonderous journey through your words. Excellent! ~Tia


    • Nicolette gold member
      April 3, 2008
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      Tia!! Hi - where have you been? . Thank you - great to see you again.


  • RadioPJ
    April 2, 2008

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    This is an enduring work, your soul's vision and expression are aligned with great voices, whose words invoke authentic connections. This image, I think my favorite, "I love you as mountains, layered
    one upon the other – nothing alters their shape." Thanks, Nicolette, much applause.


    • Nicolette gold member
      April 3, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for the kind comment. Glad you enjoyed this one


  • HeLovesMeNot
    April 1, 2008

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    It reminded me of one of my fav poems by Pablo Neruda. The syntax and diction are fabulous as usual. When I saw your name I knew it was going to be a great poem an dit was. you are a wonderful poet Nicolette, how do you do it? Would applaud but you have several already.

    I do not love you as if you were air,
    or water, or the kite
    that makes the night wind visible.
    I love you as mountains, layered
    one upon the other
    – nothing alters their shape.



  • infinite.magic
    March 31, 2008
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    I really enjoyed this poem and you wrote it very well, I like it alot. Good work.


  • Elle Kaye
    March 31, 2008
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    I really liked this, It was a rather interesting read. Beautiful imagrey, Nice job!

    ~Lolly.


  • ml12
    March 31, 2008
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    Beautiful imagery. My heart is beating and I am in awe. Fantastic and beautiful.


  • CountryCousin
    March 31, 2008

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    Well now.

    The pull to read this piece was strong, so I clicked on it. I found a very good piece, one that even the masters themselves would envy. Certainly there is nothing that I dislike and everything to like.


  • The mask of time
    March 31, 2008
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    Wonderful

    This is amazing. I very much enjoyed reading it. ^_^


  • IntoWildSoul
    March 31, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    let my hands tell you
    what words fail to
    love you as mountains
    and not as wind
    which my hands can't hold
    I love you as the grain of sand
    and its infinity
    Nice one .....


  • ViolentSerenity
    March 31, 2008

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    wow

    wow thts mostly my thought on this piece it is amazing and truely well put togather thank you for sharing with us this inspirational piece its style and my love life mixed inspired one of my newest poem "the five sences of love" if you want to check it out the style is simualar to yours simply because your poem inspired another poem i wrote and i thank you for sharing because your poem is simply amazing

    truely well writen

    poetic lover

  • Kalamina
    March 31, 2008
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    Beautiful and original imagery. Each phrase worked with the others, a very enjoyable read.


  • ten thousand cicadas gold member
    March 31, 2008

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    I just love that first stanza--the constancy, the immutability of a beautiful love. The contrast you have made between the fluid wind and water and the steadfast mountain was perfect!

    Loved the house imagery and the amazing tree. A really fantastic poem!


  • EvilKate
    March 31, 2008

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    We have a winner in my view - though I do hope that doesn't jinx things. It has a real feel of Neruda, interwoven with yourself. The kite metaphor did it all for me - that single fragment is a poem by itself.

    Bookmarked


  • Dorie
    March 31, 2008

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    Wow

    This is an excellent poem. I like it, especially the imagery. I like the way you play with words
    ......the fingers that move mountains inside me," shows how love makes the impossible seem possible.


  • lowercase prelude gold member
    March 31, 2008
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    so simple, yet so beautiful and it has such a "wow" factor to it. i like this.


  • Jaden silver member
    March 30, 2008
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    Yep. Spoken like a tried and true blue Capricorn.


    • Nicolette gold member
      March 31, 2008
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      Trust a Capricorn to deliver the goods, lolol! Thanks, Jaden

  • Suzanne Dia
    March 30, 2008

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    This is so bookmarked..
    This goes up with my favorite Neruda poem.

    Beautiful


  • Yemassee gold member
    March 30, 2008

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    Believe it or not (and why wouldn't you, lol) the line I probably like best is one that most might pass by:

    My love for you is big, like a house –

    Sometimes (probably usually) simplicity expresses far more than ideas that need to be filtered through intellectual seines. The line is immediate, expressive, and simple, but in a naturalistic way.

    It's of course earthy, the poem I mean, which says as much about the recipient as it does the love the poem expresses.

    The word "imbued" pops into my head when reading this...no I don't get odd seizures, your poem expresses that...love surrounding, permeating, encompassing.

    And of course the poem is written with beauty and an understanding of the power of words, tones, expressions.

    Madam MariGoes has in the past suggested I read a poem of yours and of course I've seen your name here and there on different poets so when I saw your name on the whatever the front page is called I clicked.

    One question and I'm sure it's just something I don't understand:

    or water, or the kite
    that makes the night wind visible.

    Rain, ok, but I'm not sure how a kite makes the night wind visible, maybe I'm looking at it to literally?

    But anyway, it was beautiful, and more than that, impressive.

    • Nicolette gold member
      March 31, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you to you, and Mari . Loved you comment, and about the "kite that makes the night wind visible"... we can't see the wind, but we can see the colour and the movements of the kite...see? That's what I meant. Thank you for the kind words and the visit!


      • Yemassee gold member
        March 31, 2008
        Edit | Reply
        Ok, but it just the night wind that you mention.

  • MikeyFreshBlizz
    March 30, 2008

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    Wow...awesome poem. I especially liked the imagery of the moths in the branches, and how that tied back in with the upside down tree from earlier in the poem.


  • Mark Rickerby gold member
    March 30, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Gorgeous poem. Thanks to Nicolette and the person who featured it. This is poetry.


  • Serene
    March 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Wonderfully Worded!

    Your piece is packed with beautiful images of how the speaker in this piece is swayed from the subtle ways of one that brings so much emotions to the surface. Imagery is so wonderfully worded, very beautifully worded piece, which I really enjoyed yet another artistic piece!!

    Rena~


  • MotorcycleFreak silver member
    March 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Beautiful

    This is a multi-layered poem of great power and emotion. It has so many references that one can relate to while reading it, and that creates deep feelings and flashes a constant reel of imagery. Excellent! ~Peace~Gar

  • Rowan gold member
    March 29, 2008
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    More deserving of spotlight. If you don't know her work, then you're truly missing a book on your shelf.
    Not only a talented person, but a talented heart.
    Love ya Nicolette.
    Pen on.

    Kathleen


  • ladame
    March 29, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful and gentle and clever - I enjoyed reading this; thank you for sharing it.


  • Allyce May gold member
    March 29, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Ooooo! You're in the spotlight! Where you belong


  • jamiexox07
    March 29, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    sweet

    you're such a great poet. it's different and unique. i loved it


  • Wydra
    March 29, 2008
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    the best!

    u r an awesome poet! the figurative language is unique and descriptive! u have a style all ur own!


  • mwilson50
    March 29, 2008

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    Beautiful

    A different take indeed. I like the comparisons to a house, and to the mountains (solidity) as opposed to air, wind (temporary, permeable). Very nice, if only more of us could experience a love like that *smile*


  • WesBreezyxxx
    March 29, 2008

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    GREAT

    I loved your poem. That was just genius. There was nothing wrong with your poem I absoluty loved it. When you have time please check out some of my poems and please tell me what I need to work on. Thank you. BRAVO


  • Exit-Stage-Right
    March 29, 2008

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    Oh boy

    In large part, I agree with all the accolades heretofore bestowed, but if there was one line that could possibly stand an edit, it would be:

    My love for you is big, like a house –

    I like where you go with the idea with the doors and rooms, but houses are not universally big... some quite small, actually.

    My love for you could, fill the largest house –

    puts things in a perspective that forces one to consider how many rooms and doors the largest house might have.

    I feel like I have just pointed out a flaw in the Book of Genesis... forgive me.

    Jim

    • Nicolette gold member
      March 29, 2008
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      Lol Jim, you are forgiven Of course there are small houses... I just like to think of this one as BIG and spacious! Thank you for the lovely comment.

  • carole21
    March 29, 2008

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    very nice

    very nice love write . . liked "I love you as mountains" and "comb the pale-pink light of morning through my hair" . . nice ending . . good luck in the contest . .


  • Lyndon gold member
    March 29, 2008

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    In modern verse

    this poem is as beautiful as, say, E Barrett Browning's sonnet, "How do I love thee?"
    Indeed, the poem should be lauded as belonging to such company by this significant world poet we have here at Allpoetry, in my humble opinion.
    I have re-read this several times and I have not changed my opinion a jot.
    Passion, beauty, simplicity, sensuousness ... all excellently welded.
    Do not touch a letter. Absolutely wonderful.

    Perhaps one of the top 20 poems of this century, lyrically.

    Lyndon of the Winklings.

    • Nicolette gold member
      March 29, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Ron.... now you have me speechless, my friend from down under - wow!!! Thank you so much. I think I'm going to frame your comment and keep it as a butterfly for days when I need to remember that every now and then I write something worthwhile!!


  • Cup-a-Joe
    March 29, 2008

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    WoW

    I wish I could write a perfect poem such as this one, and add at the end-still editing.lol It's done-it's perfect-amazing-awesome-& well down right good.
    Joe


  • Lucy.
    March 29, 2008
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    Very moving, touching, honest emotion.


  • TheNymph
    March 28, 2008
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    wow this is stunning. a true testimony to love. i was very moved reading it


  • jacke
    March 28, 2008

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    wow

    the title is very eye catching..
    reading your poem i felt myself imagining being the author- it feels like a love that every girl dreams of...


  • frownsnfreckles
    March 28, 2008

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    What beautiful verse, such honesty of expression and emotion demonstrate the maturity of a love grown sure of itself. Unashamed passion and sensuality combined with the steadiness of deeper love, captured perfectly by the metaphor of the baobab tree.
    'My love for you is big, like a house -
    every crack and sigh call it out'


  • RedAquarius
    March 28, 2008

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    This is simply the best love poem I've read in quite a long while. Unique and without cliche, it is vulnerable yet strong in its declaration. I am bookmarking. Thank you for the joy of reading this.

  • Justin3
    March 28, 2008

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    The form of this poem is amazing, and the words just jump out of the page to dance near the fire of grace.Great work!


  • lilAj
    March 26, 2008
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    *shock*

    WOW Nicolette, this is just ... wow
    I've got to collect myself
    lol


  • Mari Goes gold member
    March 26, 2008
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    You know, your love poems are the perfect ode to love!
    I wish I could pick a line or even stanza and say 'that is my favourite', but here it's just impossible. Your verses are so well entwined that there are no parts, but a just a beautiful whole.
    Wonderful!

    Mari


  • Allyce May gold member
    March 25, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    ARGH, I love it! The ending is breathtaking! Okay, okay, I'm going!


  • Allyce May gold member
    March 25, 2008
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    It's me again! Just wanted to feel my insides churn and my heart punch its way out of my chest

    • Nicolette gold member
      March 26, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Wow Allyce - and how you have stirred my leaves, woman!! I'm SO happy that you loved this poem so much as if means a lot to me - the poem, the inspiration behind it (and you know who that is) and the fact that I could stir your leaves too!!

      Thanks, dear Allyce. I'll be looking out for that love poem of yours!!!

  • Allyce May gold member
    March 25, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    "the tree God planted upside-down
    so that all can see the strength
    of its roots, alive like a heart,
    like a hand"

    Just wow. THIS, is the ultimate love poem. Perfect. Sometimes, I think the feeling of love is so big I wonder how the universe can contain it. This shows how deep love can submerge itself, become every day objects until the universe does not have to hold love, but instead becomes it.

    I want to write a love poem now! Magical Nicolette, this touched me


  • inder silver member
    March 25, 2008

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    hand crafted perfection!

    some gorgeous metaphors,rooted depth and carefree flight all in one flowing silken weave of thoughts.well done as always,a treat!


  • Lyrical Soul silver member
    March 24, 2008

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    I have no words pretty enough to express this. This is beyond beautiful my vriendin.

    ~Lyrical


  • Jersene gold member
    March 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Stunning! Breath taking...I'm really at a loss for words. Reminds me I must get on this site more often


  • voices
    March 24, 2008

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    your hands
    pull at my breath
    mold clay of my thoughts
    open doors to inspiration
    your hands
    can lead me away
    on a thread
    thin and soft as
    a newborns hair
    your hands



    thank you.
    peace, Darin.

  • Shannon
    March 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow. I was going to attempt to write something kind of along these lines tonight...sort of this all-encompassing love that is not necesarily ever explored and yet, is still there, still present for another...but, man. After reading this I don't know if I want to even try! haha. But seriously, just gorgeous. Every image is breathtaking.

    However, I do feel like it ends rather quickly. Somewhere around stanza 4 and 5 there seems to be a shift of tone almost...and then it wraps up...albeit very well, but still, it does feel a bit different. Maybe you could linger a bit more and figure out if the poem wants to expand or say more...just a small suggestion.

    But overall, it really is quite stunning.

    Your poems always leave me feeling like there's something very elemental missing in my life...passion. And it's not like passion in general is missing, because I am an extremely passionate person...but perhaps I miss sharing it with others in a more...physical form/expression. sigh.

    • Nicolette gold member
      March 25, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you - also for making me think. Your comment also reminded me of one of my favourite sayings: "There is only one passion, the infinite passion of life" - and I do find that in your work - but yes, it is the physical expession that at times get to us!!


  • Victory Gin silver member
    March 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Nice. This poem has a psalm quality to it, but it seems more natural and less tortured than anything David could have mustered. Who needs David anyway when we have Nicolette.


  • katfair
    March 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I love arms and hand poems
    that touch me in so many ways as yours do.....

    A potent image for being in life....
    I think of two other wonderful women poets

    A line from a poem called Daily

    "The hands are churches that worship the world."

    ~ Naomi Shihab Nye ~

    and Mary Oliver's

    My hands touch the lilies
    then withdraw;

    my hands touch the blue iris
    then withdraw;

    and I say, not easily but carefully--
    the words round in the mouth, crisp on the tongue--

    dirt, mud, stars, water--
    I know you as if you were myself.

    How could I be afraid?

    EXCERPT FROM Gravel

    and I float and sink through you whole poem=
    but especially the ending

    but this too,
    I know:

    the fingers that move mountains
    inside me, that make my hips sing
    until they float, light as moths
    among the branches,

    and in every room
    comb the pale-pink light
    of morning
    through my hair,

    belong to your hands.

    bravo

    • RadioPJ
      April 2, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      re: Nicolette's poem

      Bravo, I agree; and to you also for including these other powerful, poetic words of women. "Worshipping ... No fear ... Knowing ... Belonging" This is the stuff of endurance. I also enjoyed Nicolette's
      "I love you as mountains, layered
      one upon the other – nothing alters their shape."

    • Nicolette gold member
      March 24, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Your comments are always poetic, always so very beautiful!! I just love Mary Oliver's poetry and the one you've quoted here just explain why. Yes, I love hands in poetry - and I've always been a lover of arms too, lol...guess that is why I love trees and branches and leaves in poetry too.

      Thank you so much - you are a star!!


  • Namita
    March 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    ... beautiful...

    ps - you two are the best... but y'know that my jerk boy and i are better

    - namita


    • Nicolette gold member
      March 24, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Lololol!! Well, at 14 you are definately better than what I was at 14 - that I'll give you, namita


      • Namita
        March 24, 2008
        Edit | Reply
        we're the awesome foursome super duper family


  • Randomly Beautiful
    March 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I have no words to do this justice. It's brilliant and breathtaking and lovely. Thank you so much for this.


    I love you as the colossi of the plains,
    the tree God planted upside-down
    so that all can see the strength
    of its roots, alive
    like a heart – everywhere


  • arafura gold member
    March 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    "I love you with hands
    that I lay upon the earth,
    upon a savannah of trees
    and these walls;
    they are small hands,
    but this too,
    I know..."

    Wonderful words my friend... wonderful thoughts behind the words! Good luck in the contest!


  • klassy lassy
    March 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    ohhhh! Nicolette! My eyes are full of tears and my heart opens wide reading this, your heart in full bloom.

  • Rowan gold member
    March 23, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    sigh...
    don't edit too much, hon.
    I love being a witness to this kind of beauty.
    So sensual, so powerful and moving.


  • Cannonsfire
    March 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Don't you dare edit this anymore lol . It is just perfect, you took me back to pink African sunsets and sillouettes of those tree's in my eye. This is as soft as you dear lady. Love, C

    • Nicolette gold member
      March 24, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      If I could take you back to Africa and to those magnificent trees, then I'm happy, Chez - thank you, my friend


  • AJ Morelli gold member
    March 23, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    beautiful...




  • misselaineous
    March 23, 2008
    Edit | Reply


  • IronIcecream
    March 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    the only tree that has no branches
    lives so long trying to understand why
    until it realizes it's just a giant root
    and starts dying

    the sky supports no life


    • Nicolette gold member
      March 24, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Luckily the tree I wrote about has roots deep into Africa's soil too - it's alive and majectic both underground and above

  • Night Hope gold member
    March 23, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Stunning it its loveliness...

    "the fingers that move mountains
    inside me, that make my hips sing
    until they float, light as moths
    among the branches"

    This poem, this song...made me weep. It's just too beautiful for mere words, my Sister of such incredible depths. What a magnificent penning it is. Every single stanza moved my seas within. Every breath was a gasp. Exquisite. Good grief, how could the man ever resist??? Not that he'd ever try. I'd seriously doubt the good sense I know he has if he ever did. Beyond beautiful, Sweetie. A tender, poignant, revealing & remarkably sensitive piece. You sculpt the landscape with your music, touch the deepest parts of space with your many colours. Good luck in Trina's contest, my dear Friend. Vlindertjie


    • Nicolette gold member
      March 24, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you, my dear sister, woman with wings.... what a beautiful comment - just as your heart, Vlindertjie

  • Virgoan
    March 23, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    'Breathless'...excellent Nic.

    Keep on sharing

    P.S.

    This is my second time to see the word Baobab in literature. From exupery's 'Little Prince' - a novelette.

    This being the first poem.


  • PageTurner
    March 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Beautiful...



    "the fingers that move mountains
    inside me, that make my hips sing
    until they float, light as moths
    among the branches,"


    So much Love and sincerity contained in this verse

    Heartfelt Happiness, Scribe!

    ~ Nicky♥

  • tara wilson gold member
    March 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    "there isn't a door
    that does not swing open
    at your slightest touch,
    not a room that isn’t looking
    for you"

    I love the metaphor you have applied here..I relate..you put feelings/emotions, into words, into poetry so well,
    your images of love here are beautiful - I love the pale pink light of morning..

    this is a lovely poem, Nic..one of my favorites by you ..

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